You Couldn't Have Done That

You Couldn't Have Done That [[Play]] (css: "font-size: 75%")[[Content Warning]]

**Content Warning:** This game contains non-consensual touching and inappropriate coversation between a fictional minor and a fictional adult. If this would be triggering to you or is simply something you would like to avoid, then I'll just say that I hope you have a good day. [[Play]]

**Maple Mall's** floors are made of molasses. With each step your pace slows, as though the weather is getting colder, and the molasses thicker. Before long you'll certainly be stuck in place. But being late isn't an option, especially on your first day. [[Take another step ]] (unless: (track: 'ambient', 'isplaying'))[ (group: 'playing', 'stop') (track: 'ambient', 'loop', true) (track: 'ambient', 'play') ]

You reach the first kiosk, t-shirts of every colour, with images from movies, tv-shows, video games, and so on. There isn't anybody working there yet. In fact, most of the mall is barren. The only sign of human life you can see is a janitor. He smiles at you. [[Smile back]] [[Another step ]]

The janitor scrapes gum off a bench. *Scratch Scratch Scratch* [[Almost there]]

Before you is **Lydia's**, a store engulfed in hot pinks and vibrant purples. It's where a lot of your peers buy their clothing and jewellery, or get their hair done. Fashion isn't really your thing. In fact, you'd only been in **Lydia's** twice, when you applied and when you were interviewed. [[Just one more step]] [[Flee]]

"Theodora! Come in, you're right on time," Amanda says, her blonde curls cascading down her back, nearly as bouncy as her personality. "Okay, so here's the deal. I know I said I'd be here for your first day working, but something came up. Do you remember what I told you you'd be doing?" she asks. Butterflies tussel in your stomach and your chest tightens. This wasn't the plan. [["Kind of"]] [[Nod]]

A sweet aroma fills the air. **Marian's Bakery**, a cosy place that makes cinnamon buns that are not quite as good as Papa's. It's close to your destination. You're pretty sure Amanda said you'd have a 15 minute break at some point. Perhaps you could get something to eat there. [[Keep moving]]

"You'll be stocking shelves and tidying up. Eddie and Janice will be able to tell you what to do, so just ask one of them if you're not sure. They'll be in charge, of course. Eddie! Janice!" The first to approach is a young man, older than you, perhaps in his 20s. His left eyebrow is pierced and he has gauge earrings that are big enough for two pencils to go through them at once. His brown eyes are warm, gentle maybe. You can't look at them for long. You've always struggled with eye contact, too overwhelming, but you think maybe he could be a friend. Janice on the other hand immediately gives you bad vibes. Hard to say why. She looks to be in her 50s, or maybe 60s, her strawberry blonde hair greying. [["Hi"]] [["Hello"]]

You hope your smile wasn't too big, or too small. He doesn't seem disturbed, so that's a good sign. [[Another step ]]

**You couldn't have done that** What would mum say if you fled from your first day at work? Besides, you promised to work today. You don't go back on promises; your mum taught you better. [[Just one more step]]

"Hey," Eddie says. "Hello, Dear," Janice says. "Eddie, Janice, this is Theodora, our new summer student." [["Theo"]] [[Don't say anything]]

"Right, Theo," Amanda corrects herself. "You're going into grade 10 next year?" "Yes," you say. "Eddie, you're going to give her instructions for today," Amanda says. "Of course." He smiles. "Well, I've got to get going. Best of luck," Amanda says. [["Thanks"]]

"Wait, you said you go by Theo, right?" You nod. "And you're going into grade 10 next year?" Amanda asks. "Yes," you say. "Eddie, you're going to give her instructions for today," Amanda says. "Of course." He smiles. "Well, I've got to get going. Best of luck," Amanda says. [["Thanks"]]

Amanda rushes out the door and Janice makes her way back to the makeup. "Come on, Theo. Let's get to work," Eddie says, leading you towards the clothing aisles. He explains what your tasks would be, asking questions to make sure you understand. "Do you think you're ready to start on your own now?" [[Nod ]]

"If you're uncertain about anything just ask me." Your eyes fall back onto Janice.You don't mean to be judgey or suspicious or anything, but you really did get a bad vibe. "Amanda says she's really good with makeup, used to work here when she was younger." [["Right"]]

"I'll be working the counter for a couple hours, then to hairstyling. Just do your best, okay." His voice, his words, they relax you, take away some of your unease. [[Nod again]]

You get to work stocking shelves, [[folding and refolding]]. You like the repetitive nature of it. There's something comforting about that. Sort of similar to the comfort that comes from other repetitive behaviours, like flapping your hands or rocking yourself back and forth.

The anxiety of this being your first day is diminishing. The sameness, the consistency, this could work well for you. Then there's her. At first you don't notice. All of your focus has been on folding the shirts. "Hello, Theodora." It's Janice."That's good work you're doing." You're unsure of what to say. Did that remark warrant thanks? Or perhaps silence is the best option? [[You don't have the time to come up with a response though.]]

"It'll be good to have another girl here. Eddie's alright, but it's not really the same is it?" You're pretty sure she's not looking for a response. The best course of action is probably to just focus on your task. "You know, I worked here when I wasn't much older than you. It was pretty different back then, but the same idea, girls' fashion." She seems to be waiting for you to say something, but you've got no clue what to say. [["Oh"]] [["Cool"]]

Janice looks elsewhere for a moment. "That's just disrespectful," Janice mutters. You assume she's talking about Eddie, who's giving her some sort of look, but you don't really understand. She shakes her head and goes back to the makeup section of the store. You looked over at Eddie. He gives you a soft smile. He must have recognized your discomfort. [[Smile back ]] [[Get back to work]]

You give a quick smile and return to work. The store's starting to get customers. If you weren't anxious before, then you are now. What if you see someone from school? Or what if you get asked a question? You try your best to ignore the customers. [[Just stock the shelves]]

The store's starting to get customers. If you weren't anxious before, then you are now. What if you see someone from school? Or what if you get asked a question? You try your best to ignore the customers. [[Just stock the shelves]]

There's quite a bit of stocking to do, and the clothing seems to get unfolded just as quickly as it's folded. It keeps you busy for a couple hours at least. You've decided that you definitely like this, at least while you're being paid. You're not sure what you'll want to do as a grown-up, but for now this is good. [[You continue folding.]]

You've been to the bakery many times before, so you're used to getting food there. It isn't lunch time yet, so you don't have to worry about a line. You buy... [[A cinnamon bun]] [[A donut]] [[A cookie]]

You sit on a bench near **Lydia's** and [[savour your sweet treat]].

"Tasty treat," she says, without the inflection to suggest it's a question. "Yeah." "So, where are you from?" Janice asks. "Here." Techincally you'd been born at the hospital, but you doubt that specification is necessary. "No, I mean, where are you from?" Why's she repeating herself? Does she actually want that specification? [["I was born in Grand Willow Hospital"]]

"Your parents?" "Grand Willow hospital too, well dad was born at home, but he was taken to hospital as a precaution later." You're pretty sure you're talking too much, but Janice still doesn't seem satisfied with the answer. She goes quiet, probably realizing that she isn't going to get whatever information she's looking for. Her attention goes to the lingerie shop a couple stores down. "Ever been there?" Janice asks. "No." You didn't know what else to say. "You ought to pick something out. I could tell you what would look good on your body. Something colourful maybe, exotic." You couldn't help but squirm in your seat. That word, *exotic*, you hate it. You hate how it comes off her tongue. And the topic, you definitely aren't comfortable talking to her about such matters. [[Flee ]] [["No"]]

You escape back into the store. Fortunately, it's about time to start working anyway. You're working closer to Eddie now, and that means farther from the makeup. Periodically, your eyes flick back to the entrance. Even though it's unlikey, you can't help but hope Janice just won't come back. As is expected, she returns. Fortunately, she doesn't approach you. [[Hang up another dress]]

"Suit yourself," Janice says. Before she can say anything more you decide it would be best to [[flee]]. You can't cope with any more of her.

Dress after dress. Shirt after shirt. The day goes on. You relax. Everything would be fine. She's surely gotten the message. [[The peace doesn't last.]]

About half an hour after you've both returned to work, Janice approaches you once again. At this point your unease is getting to the point where you aren't sure you will continue to function. Why doesn't Janice realize this? Or maybe she does...? Perhaps she just doesn't care. "If you want, I can pay for it, like an early Christmas gift." [[How to respond...]] to that?

The answer is no, that much is clear. But... could you even manage that word at this point? You aren't sure. Often this kind of stress makes vocal speech impossible. You can't know if you don't try though. You could just [[try to say "No"]]. Maybe you could [[shake your head]]. The option that feels the most natural is simply to [[walk away]].

The word doesn't come out, not even the first letter. It is one of the those occasions then. You could still [[shake your head]]. And, the option to just [[walk away]] is seeming even more pleasant.

You turn your back to her and make your way towards the pants. She doesn't follow. Situation resolved, you think. [[You go back to work.]]

"You sure. It really wouldn't be any trouble, and you could certainly use some," Janice says. [[Shake your head again]] or [[walk away]].

"Fine, but if you change your mind, then feel free to ask." She stands there for a moment. As though you were going to change your mind right there and then. She walks off without another word. Your heart's in your throat, even with her gone. In fact, You're pretty sure you might just throw up your heart. Perhaps then you wouldn't be so fearful of her. [[You go back to work.]]

"Hey, what days do you guys do hair appointments?" It isn't Janice. Before you is a girl, about your age. She's got dark brown hair in a messy bun and freckles dotting her nose and cheeks. Rylee, she'd been in your elementary school, never the same class though. [["I don't know"]]

**You couldn't have done that** The words aren't there. Or maybe they are. Either way, the words can't reach your tongue. "Are you okay?" Rylee asks. "I didn't mean to scare you. I'm really sorry." You want to tell her it isn't her fault, but those words aren't there either. Perhaps it would just have to wait until the next time you saw her. [["It's not your fault"]] [[Nod ]] [[Remain still and silent]]

**You couldn't have done that** **No words, remember?** "Hello, I can help you," Eddie says. Where'd he come from? It seems like he just appeared out of nowhere. "I think I broke her," Rylee says. "Theo will be fine. What was your question?" "When are hair appointments?" She smiles at you, trying to help, you suppose. "Afternoons, but you'll have to make an appointment ahead of time." "Okay." One last smile at you. "Sorry," she says. [[And she's gone.]]

"You're okay?" You nod again. Really you aren't sure if you're okay, but this isn't the time to complicate matters "Hello, I can help you," Eddie said. Where'd he come from? It seemed like he'd just appeared out of nowhere. "What was your question?" "When are hair appointments?" "Afternoons, but you'll have to make an appointment ahead of time." "Okay." [[And she's gone.]]

"Hello, I can help you," Eddie says. Where'd he come from? It seems like he just appeared out of nowhere. "I think I broke her," Rylee says. "Theo will be fine. What was your question?" "When are hair appointments?" She smiles at you, trying to help, you suppose. "Afternoons, but you'll have to make an appointment ahead of time." "Okay." One last smile at you. "Sorry," she says. [[And she's gone.]]

"You alright, Theo?" Eddie asks. "Amanda said you weren't so sure about customers, sorry about that. Next time, just point them my way, cool?" You nod. "Good, if you need a moment that's fine." Eddie smiles at you before heading back to the counter. [[You take a moment to relax.]]

After a second your thoughts have settled to some extent, and you can focus on putting your best effort into work. Only, you can't. You know she's there, standing beside you, waiting to say something. [[Your heart's in your throat again.]]

You have to. Amanda had said to listen to Janice. And, Amanda is your boss. There isn't another option. [[Enter the backroom]]

**You couldn't have done that** You have to follow. Amanda said to listen to Janice. And, Amanda is your boss. There isn't another option. [[Enter the backroom]]

The backroom is small, grey walls and floor blending into a closet-like box. There isn't really anywhere to stand, especially after Janice traps you against the wall. "You can't respond to customers like that. There's proper ettiquete, you know? You smile. Do that." You don't respond. Your brain's going a million miles a minute, yet no one thought is coherent. Your heartbeat's pounding your eardrums like a mallet. You're frozen. "Smile." [[Smile]] [[Do nothing]] (unless: (track: 'dark', 'isplaying'))[ (group: 'playing', 'stop') (track: 'dark', 'loop', true) (track: 'dark', 'play') ]

What else could you do? You're trapped. "You'll need to work on that. You look like a creep. Then you greet them, try to be friendly. Ask what they need. And, you really need new clothes." Her words came louder and quicker than you can process. [[You're trapped]].

**You couldn't Have Done That** Your thoughts aren't coherent enough to stop you from following the instruction. It's all you can think to do. You're trapped. "You'll need to work on that. You look like a creep. Then you greet them, try to be friendly. Ask what they need. And, you really need new clothes." Her words came louder and quicker than you can process. [[You're trapped]].

"They're ratty and far too loose. Might as well wear a paper bag if you're going to wear that. And, you do know you're working in a clothing store, right? The least you can do is look presentable." You're trapped. Tears are streaming by this point. All of the overwhelming stuff is too much. Your mind isn't processing things anymore. [[You can't think]].

More words are coming at you, but you aren't taking them in. She's coming at you. Her arms are squeezing you, her hands against your back, feeling. [[Pull away]]

**You couldn't have done that** You're trapped. [["No" ]]

**You couldn't have done that** You can't think. You can't speak. [[You sob]]

[[Shove her away]]

Her hands are off you. The weight's lifted. You're free again. But you're still trapped. Too close. Suddenly her hand is on your waist. Rough. Grabby. [[You slip from her grasp.]]

"Can you show me where she touched you?" You point to your waist and back, as best you can while rocking. "Should I call your emergency contact? Security? Both? I don't want you having to see her. And there definitely needs to be consequences." "Do you think you could write everything down, once you're not as overwhelmed. I mean, you don't need to, but I think you should. Don't do anything you don't want to." [[Nod ]]

**You Couldn't Have Done That** Created by: Ann Hugo Thanks to Beta-Testers! Seaflame Brook Jensen <a href="http://portfolio.brwarner.net/"; target="_blank">http://portfolio.brwarner.net/</a> Victor Gijsbers <a href="https://gamingphilosopher.blogspot.com/"; target="_blank">https://gamingphilosopher.blogspot.com/</a> Pseudavid <a href="pseudavid.itch.io"; target="_blank">pseudavid.itch.io</a> Music: Bossa Noir for Nights by Stefan Kartenberg (c) copyright 2020 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/JeffSpeed68/61806 Ft: Martijn de Boer (NiGiD), Javolenus Foreboding by gurdonark (c) copyright 2018 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/gurdonark/57879 Ft: Onlymeith My blog: <a href="https://annwords.wordpress.com/"; target="_blank">https://annwords.wordpress.com/</a> My twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/AnnHugoWriter"; target="_blank">https://twitter.com/AnnHugoWriter</a> [[Play]] **again** (unless: (track: 'ambient', 'isplaying'))[ (group: 'playing', 'stop') (track: 'ambient', 'loop', true) (track: 'ambient', 'play') ]

ambient: ./audio/ambient.mp3 dark: ./audio/dark.mp3

"I'll be right back. You're safe now. I won't let her anywhere near here." You nod. "I'm sorry," he repeats on his way out. You continue to calm yourself, to rock. *Back and forth Back and Forth Back and forth* [[Then he's back.]]

The peace doesn't last long. Your bench is invaded, no longer a safe place to watch the mall's goings on from. Janice. She's beside you, chewing a granola bar, in your space. [[You aren't sure what to say.]]

"Theo, I'm just going to sit here, okay? Your mum will be here in about ten minutes," Eddie says. "If you want to go out to the store, we could do that too. Security dealt with the situation, and the store's closed for the moment. Wherever you want to be." You don't feel up to movement. Eddie says nothing for a time. "Would you prefer it if I speak?" You shake your head no. You need silence. At the same time, you don't want him to leave. You hope he understands. You see him nod and smile through your teary eyes, as he remains seated next to you. [[Play]] **again** [[Credits]]

"Theo, you could take your break now if you like," Eddie says. You nod. "Be back in 15 minutes, and good job so far." Another smile, he's such a smiley person. [[Go to the bakery]]

"I need to talk to you," she says. "Follow me." [[Follow her]] [[Stay where you are]]

It's back. There. On your waist. Warm and mean against the curve. Nausea overtakes your body as you sob. A few words break through. *Crying Scene Stay* [[Then she's gone.]]

You slide down the wall. Curled in a ball, you rock. *Back and forth Back and forth Back and forth* [[You don't know how much time passes.]]

"Theo! Theo, are you alright?" Eddie is there, kneeling in front of you. You can't answer. You continue to rock, calming yourself. "Did Janice say something, or do something." You don't have to answer. He knows. "Did she touch you at all?" A nod. "I should have... I should have been paying attention." He ran his hand through his hair. "I thought... I'd been worried, heard a bit of what she said before, but I was thinking, maybe it was typical girl talk. I'm sorry, Theo." [[Nod ]] [[Do nothing ]]