What the Bus

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<center>@@font-size:xx-large;What the Bus?@@</center> <center>@@font-size:x-large;color:SlateGrey;A Transit Nightmare@@</center> <center>''[[Play|Start]]'' ''[[About]]'' <<if State.metadata.has('completedonce')>>''[[Endings]]''<</if>></center>

A Transit Nightmare

<<run UIBar.destroy()>> <<set $delayReason to ["snails", "extreme heat", "extreme cold", "melancholy", "inclement weather", "the fact that we just hate you", "secret reasons", "a medical emergency", "cows on the tracks", "the existence of seasons", "just not feeling like it right now", "consumption", "equipment failure", "reasons we're too embarrassed to admit to", "the alignment of the stars", "an unspecified emergency", "elves", "the will of the gods", "the vagaries of fortune", "fire, lots and lots of fire", "an ancient curse", "the trains being on strike", "a stuck switch", "a lack of coffee", "a total eclipse of the Sun", "a paper jam", "the transit of Venus", "malfunctions of the third, fifth, and ninth rails", "a very bad dog", "suplexed trains"]>> <<set $stationName to ["Appleton", "Underbridge", "Lemmington", "128th Street", "West Gate", "University Plaza", "Sitwell", "Parkside", "17th Street", "456th Street", "Midtown", "Kōen-dōri", "Université", "Chinatown", "Weston Avenue", "Eastside", "Perdido Street", "Peachtree Center", "Wonderland", "Blackfriars", "Sherbrooke", "Airport", "Exhibition Center", "Tsim Sha Tsui", "Kowloon", "Maverick", "Knightsbridge", "Raffles Place", "City Hall", "Causeway Bay", "Bonne Nouvelle", "Misterios", "Medvedkovo", "Raceway", "Model Town", "Gun Hill Road", "Jamaica", "Chikatetsu-narimasu", "Ochanomizu", "West Egg", "Erehwon", "Mornington Crescent", "Elsewhere", "Friendship Heights", "Bethesda", "Mariachi Plaza", "Gorgonzola", "Convention Center", "Secaucus", "Oglethorpe", "Admiralty", "Paradise", "Bleak Street", "Stilton", "Town Square", "Baker Street", "Arboretum", "Oldtown", "Newtown", "Innsmouth", "Trombone Museum", "Pinesol Road", "Landfill", "Badlands", "Miskatonic University", "Dyckman Street", "Gare du Nord", "Herald Square", "Harold Square", "Broadway", "34th Street–Penn Station", "Shin-suizenji", "Suidōchō", "This Stop", "Cockfosters", "Braintree", "Barking", "Simmering", "Paracelsusbad", "Zoo", "De Pijp", "Bergamot", "Citrus College", "Xinbeitou", "Songshan", "Bloor"]>> <<set $mapsLocation to ["Ghent", "Kyrgyzstan", "the Bermuda Triangle", "Bhutan", "Monaco", "the middle of the Pacific Ocean", "a formless void", "the Antipodes", "the Arctic Circle", "Disneyland Paris. It suggests you take the monorail", "Milwaukee", "the Sahara Desert", "Maui", "Antarctica", "a dive bar in Vegas", "Perth", "Hokkaido", "Lake Michigan", "Lichtenstein", "Reykjavik", "the Grand Canyon", "Vatican City", "your apartment", "your mom's house", " ... actually it's not loading at all"]>> <<set $busPassenger to ["a person who looks extremely tired", "a skeleton wearing a jaunty hat", "a bear (the animal)", "a small dinosaur", "a land shark", "a zombie", "your fourth-grade teacher", "a guy who is obviously three raccoons in a trenchcoat", "a very large spider", "a large cat wearing a suit and bowler hat", "a mime", "a wizard", "a person in superhero cosplay (you think it's cosplay, anyway)", "Dwayne 'the Rock' Johnson", "a sentient broom", "a cat wearing nice boots", "a man with terrible allergies", "Mothman", "a hungry-looking grue"]>> <<set $windowView to ["nothing but the walls of a tunnel.", "a perfectly normal above-ground city view.", "the ocean. Wait, you don't live near the ocean, do you?", "rivers of molten lava amid jagged volcanic rocks.", "some sweet tunnel-wall graffiti.", "a pasture full of horses.", "a wasteland of crumbling, deserted buildings. Did you end up in Detroit somehow?", "a pasture full of unicorns.", "a large dragon stretched out across the landscape.", "the neighborhood you grew up in, which is not on this transit line.", "vast, unending darkness.", "stars and planets and the swirls of distant galaxies.", "a T-rex chasing a... you don't know what kind of dinosaur that is, actually. You can mostly only recognize T-rexes.", "a snowstorm howling outside. You don't remember seeing that on the weather forecast.", "some very large rats.", "a forest of sugarplum trees and lollipop flowers.", "bees?", "the La Brea Tar Pits. Did you know that that literally means 'the The Tar Tar Pits'? It's true.", "endless identical suburban houses.", "a stoplight farm.", "a Starbucks, next to a Starbucks, next to a Starbucks, across the street from a Starbucks.", "a woman walking her pet axolotl.", "Shakespeare in the Park performing Titus Andronicus."]>> <<set $delayReason to $delayReason.shuffle()>> <<set $stationName to $stationName.shuffle()>> <<set $mapsLocation to $mapsLocation.shuffle()>> <<set $busPassenger to $busPassenger.shuffle()>> <<set $windowView to $windowView.shuffle()>> <<set $changedMind to false>> <<set $extraMapsVariable to false>> <<set $TextFriend3 to false>> <<set $DoneCrossword to false>> <<set $WindowRed to false>> <<set $RedKilledTime to 0>> <<set $YellowLine2 to false>> <<set $Text2 to false>> <<set $Window2 to false>> <<set $StareSpace to false>> <<set $Char1 to 0>> <<set $YellowLine to false>> <<set $OtherBus to false>> <<set $WaitBus to false>> <<set $TalkNeighbor to false>> <<set $AltChar1 to 0>> <<set $WindowCommuter to false>> <<set $StopRequest to false>> <<set $BusWake to 0>> <<set $Window to false>> <<set $TextFriend to false>> <<set $VanillaTrain to 0>> <<set $PsychicMap to false>> <<set $Text4 to false>> <<set $PlayGame to false>> <<set $CalicoLine to 0>> <<set $WaitPurple to false>>

Your commute is simple, really. All you need to do is take the #44 bus five stops to Maxwell Station, get the Red Line to City Center, and then change for the commuter rail to Springfield. It only takes, oh, about an hour and a half, and you, as usual, have left half an hour early, so you should easily be able to get to work on time. If only the bus would show up, that is. As you are squinting into the distance, trying to see if you can see the bus, [[your phone chimes|Start2]].

//What the Bus?// was created in Twine by E. Joyce for IFComp 2020. This game's stylesheet is loosely based on the Simple Box CSS from <a href="https://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/5163">Glorious Trainwrecks</a>. Calico Line background pattern by <a href="https://www.shutterstock.com/g/Vikoshkina">Vikoshkina</a>. Playtested by Katy W., Josh Grams, David Hastings, and Christopher Merriner.

You look at your phone. It's a bus delay notification from your transit tracker app. The #44 bus, it informs you, is running 20 minutes behind schedule. Well, that sucks, obviously. But it's still early. You have options. [[Take the #16 bus to the Purple Line instead.|OtherBus]] [[Walk to the Yellow Line station 15 minutes away.|YellowLine]] [[Just wait for the bus. You can catch a later train.|WaitBus]]

<<if $YellowLine is true>>You hike all the way back to the bus stop and check when the #16 is coming;<<else>>The #16 bus comes to this same stop, and<</if>> according to the app, it should be here in five minutes. It'll take you away from City Center rather than towards it, so the whole trip will take longer, but at least the Purple Line also goes to City Center without you having to change trains. Just this once, it turns out the app is right--you wait almost exactly five minutes, and the #16 bus pulls up. Pretty nice! <<set $OtherBus to true>> [[Get on the bus.|On16Bus]] <<if $changedMind is false>>[[Actually, I want to do something else.|ChangeMind]]<</if>>

It's not that far to the Yellow Line, but it's not your preferred method of getting downtown, since it doesn't go directly to City Center. You'll have to change to the Red or the Purple at some point. Plus, also, MacDougall is one of the crappier stations. Upon entering you see, to your total lack of surprise, that the escalators are out of order again, but at least that's not as bad when you're going down. Half the ticket gates are //also// out of order, so there's a bit of a bottleneck there, but eventually you make it through. According to the display, the next train is a very reasonable six minutes away. <<set $YellowLine to true>> [[Wait for the train|YellowLine2]] [[Actually, I want to do something else.|ChangeMind]]

You wait. You scroll aimlessly through social media apps on your phone. You wait. You do half a crossword, then get bored. You wait. It starts to rain. <<set $WaitBus to true>> Finally the #44 pulls up and you get on. [[The bus trundles off towards the Red Line.|RedLine]]

You get on the bus and sit down. The #16 is practically empty at this time of day in this direction, which is a nice change from the #44. You're still tired, so despite the loud rattling of the bus and the uncomfortable hard plastic seat, within minutes you've halfway dozed off. The problem with this is that the #16 doesn't actually go to the Wellman Street Purple Line station. It stops a few blocks away, at Wellman and Pettybrook. Buses that actually drop off right outside subway stations always stop at the subway station, but otherwise, if you want to get off you have to push the button. You snap back to wakefulness right before your stop and mash the button in a panic, but it's too late. The bus driver isn't slowing down. You could get off at the next stop and walk back. But it's also only another ten or fifteen minutes to the terminus, which is another Purple Line station. [[Get off at the next stop.|GetOff16]] [[Stay on the bus.|StayOn16]]

<> You're feeling indecisive today, apparently. <<set $changedMind to true>> <<if $OtherBus is false>>[[Take the #16 bus.|OtherBus]] <</if>> <<if $YellowLine is false>>[[Take the Yellow Line.|YellowLine]] <</if>> <<if $WaitBus is false>>[[Go back to the #44 bus stop.|WaitBus]]<</if>> <>

You get off the #16 at the next stop and walk back to Wellman Street, which takes a good ten minutes. That's going to make catching your commuter rail train dicey, but you're not completely screwed yet. And luckily there is a Purple Line train pulling up just as you reach the platform. [[Get on the train.|PurpleLine]] [[Don't get on the train.|ButThouMust]]

You doze off again as the #16 rumbles on. When you wake up, the bus is stopped and everyone else has gotten off. You appear to be in the busway of a train station, but you don't recognize your surroundings at all. [[Get off the bus.|ChartreuseLine]]

You get on the Purple Line, feeling pretty good, all things considered. Of course, that can't last. Three stops later, at Fordham Road, an announcement comes over the intercom. "Attention, passengers," it says. "This train is being taken out of service. Please gather your belongings and watch your step while exiting the train." Ughhhhh. You exit, and consider what to do next. The next-train display says it's going to be ten whole minutes until another one comes. The Blue Line also comes to this station, though, so you could try that. Or you could exit the station and catch the #27 bus downtown. <> <<if $WaitPurple is false>>[[Wait for the Purple Line.|WaitPurple]] <</if>> [[Try the Blue Line.|LostInStation]] [[Catch the bus.|27Bus]] <>

Why the hell not? Are you trying to sabotage your own commute? Get on the damn train! [[Get on the train.|PurpleLine]]

You wait for a good fifteen minutes, but no train shows up. You'll have to try something else. <<set $WaitPurple to true>> <<return>>

You follow signs for the Blue Line through a long tunnel, up a flight of stairs, down a shorter flight of stairs, up another flight of stairs, through some sort of central lobby with an insane number of passages branching off of it, and then down a hallway that you feel like has one too many right turns. You keep thinking you must be almost there, but no. You're not very familiar with Fordham Road, so you're not sure if it //should// be taking you this long or if you are, in fact, totally lost. Finally, you emerge onto a platform, at which a train is sitting, doors open. [[Get on the train.|BlackLine]]

You get on the train; the doors slide shut; it pulls out of the station. It is strangely empty for an inbound train during rush hour. An announcement comes over the speakers. "This is a Black Line train bound for Obsidian Depths," it says. "The next stop is Fellsmoor." You have no idea where any of those things are. [[Get off the train at the next stop.|GetOffBlack]] [[Stay on. The names have got to get more familiar at some point, right?|StayOnBlack]] <<if $extraMapsVariable is false>><<link [[Check your navigation app.|CheckMaps]]>><<set $extraMapsVariable to true>><</link>><</if>>

You get off at Fellsmoor, a massive but very empty station with a strangely Gothic aesthetic. You follow signs for the exit, but instead [[you find yourself in an underground mall|Mall1]].<<set $extraMapsVariable to false>>

"The next stop is <<print $stationName[9]>>." "The next stop is <<print $stationName[10]>>." "The next stop is <<print $stationName[11]>>." Nope, not getting more familiar. <<set $extraMapsVariable to false>> [[Just get off now.|GetOffBlack2]] [[Might as well keep going at this point.|StayOnBlack2]]

You pull out your phone and open your GPS navigation app. It appears to think that you are in <<print either($mapsLocation)>>. You put your phone away. <<return>>

You enter the station, which is labeled "Chartreuse Line - Limeway Station." Past the ticket machines and a kiosk selling newspapers and bad coffee, you see signs pointing to two platforms. One is labeled "Toward Shady Grove," and the other is labeled "Toward Shady Grove." [[Take the Chartreuse Line toward Shady Grove.|Shady1]] [[Take the Chartreuse Line toward Shady Grove.|Shady2]] <<if $extraMapsVariable is false>><<link [[Check your navigation app.|CheckMaps]]>><<set $extraMapsVariable to true>><</link>><</if>>

"This stop is Styxside. Change here for the Orange Vanilla Line and commuter rail." Well, the Orange Vanilla line is unfamiliar to you, but the commuter rail should be pretty convenient, at least. You know the particular commuter rail line you need doesn't come through here, but all three of the commuter lines run out of City Center, so if you can take this line in, you can then take the Springfield line out. It's not efficient, but any port in a storm, right? [[Follow signs for the commuter rail.|CommuterRailBlack]] [[Check out the Orange Vanilla line.|OrangeVanilla]]

"The next stop is Styxside." You feel the pressure change in your ears as you go, presumably, under a river. Then the train continues for quite a while without stopping. Ugh, it must be running express and you didn't notice. Finally, it grinds to a halt and the doors slide open. The station beyond is dark, and you struggle to make out the details. "This stop is Obsidian Depths. This is the last stop. Please remember to take your belongings and watch your step when exiting the train." [[Get off the train.|BlackLineEnd]]

You arrive at Maxwell and are halfway down the escalator when you hear an announcement. "Attention, passengers," it says. "We are experiencing a delay in service on the Red Line due to a disabled train at South Warren Street." Great! Just what you needed. You can't easily catch another train from here, but you could catch the #27 bus outside the station and take it all the way downtown, or if you're worried about the traffic, you could walk a few blocks and get the #51 to the Blue Line instead. [[Wait for the Red Line to start moving again.|WaitRedLine]] [[Take the #27 bus.|27Bus]] [[Walk to the #51 bus stop.|51Bus]]

You wait. Every few minutes, the announcement plays, and eventually you tune it out. Except-- "Attention, passengers. We are experiencing delays in service due to <<print $delayReason[0]>>." That wasn't what they said before, was it? [[Keep waiting.|WaitRedLine2]] [[Take the #27 bus after all.|27Bus]] [[Walk to the #51 bus stop.|51Bus]]

You follow all the signs for the commuter rail, but somehow you end up on the Orange Vanilla Line platform. You follow the signs from the Orange Vanilla Line platform to the commuter rail and end up... back on the Orange Vanilla line platform. Now what? [[Keep looking for the commuter rail.|CommuterRail2]] [[Just take the Orange Vanilla Line.|OrangeVanilla]]

1. <<if State.metadata.has('ending1')>>''Express Train to Hell'': Rode the Black Line into the Stygian darkness.<<else>>//Locked//<</if>> 2. <<if State.metadata.has('ending2')>>''What the Sub?'': Slipped through a dimensional rift into an alternate reality.<<else>>//Locked//<</if>> 3. <<if State.metadata.has('ending3')>>''A Trip and a Half'': Caught the commuter train, but ended up in the wrong Springfield.<<else>>//Locked//<</if>> 4. <<if State.metadata.has('ending4')>>''Phished by Fish'': Followed a sketchy sign and found the lost city of Atlantis.<<else>>//Locked//<</if>> 5. <<if State.metadata.has('ending5')>>''Your Fate Is Still Unlearned'': Lost your ticket and couldn't get out of the station.<<else>>//Locked//<</if>> 6. <<if State.metadata.has('ending6')>>''Let Sleeping Buses Lie'': Angered the dread motorbus.<<else>>//Locked//<</if>> 7. <<if State.metadata.has('ending7')>>''Dog Park!'': Found a dog park.<<else>>//Locked//<</if>> 8. <<if State.metadata.has('ending8')>>''Another Day at the Office'': Arrived at work, eventually.<<else>>//Locked//<</if>> 9. <<if State.metadata.has('ending9')>>''The Worst Timeline'': Ended up in Florida, probably.<<else>>//Locked//<</if>> 10. <<if State.metadata.has('ending10')>>''What the Ektorp?'': Got lost in an IKEA. Could this be... a sequel hook? (Probably not.)<<else>>//Locked//<</if>> <> <<button "Play again">> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</button>> <>

You keep trying, but you always end up back on the Orange Vanilla platform. [[Guess you have no choice.|OrangeVanilla]]

Not being familiar with the Orange Vanilla Line, you look around for a subway map. Luckily there's one on the wall nearby. You try to decipher the map. Some of the station names are worn to the point of being illegible, and Styxside must be one of those, since you can't find it anywhere. The map also seems to have two orange-colored lines, and //one// of them goes to City Center, but you can't tell which is Orange Vanilla. You consider how you might find out. [[Lick the map.|LickMap]] [[Just get on the next train that shows up.|VanillaTrain]]

You lick the map, which is an unpleasant experience, because the Black Line tastes like licorice, which you hate, and the Purple Line tastes like artificial grape flavor, which, you're not even sure why they make anything in that flavor still, because you're pretty sure no one likes it. Nevertheless, by this method it is easy to distinguish the Creamsicle flavor of the Orange Vanilla line from the pure citrus flavor of the regular Orange Line. It does seem like Orange Vanilla is the one that goes to City Center. It's impossible to tell from the map which direction to go in, but you only see one platform and one track here and no signs pointing you to another platform, so you think the line only runs one direction from here. [[Get on the next train.|VanillaTrain]]

<><<if $VanillaTrain is 0>>After a moderate wait, a train pulls up, and you get on. "The next stop is <<print $stationName[12]>>," says the announcer. Now you can kick back and relax a little until you get to City Center. <<elseif $VanillaTrain gt 0 and $VanillaTrain lt 3>>The train speeds along towards City Center. <</if>> <<if $TextFriend is false>>[[Text a friend.|TextFriend]] <</if>> <<if $Window is false>>[[Look out the window|Window]] <</if>> <<if $extraMapsVariable is false>><<link [[Check your navigation app to make sure you're on the right track.|CheckMaps]]>><<set $extraMapsVariable to true>><<set $VanillaTrain += 1>><</link>><</if>> <<if $VanillaTrain is 3>>[[The train pulls into City Center.|VanillaTrain2]]<</if>> <>

You get on the Chartreuse Line towards Shady Grove. It goes through stations called <<print $stationName[13]>>, <<print $stationName[14]>>, and <<print $stationName[15]>>, none of which you have heard of. After leaving this station, but before getting to the next one, the announcement comes that the line is "experiencing delays in service due to <<print $delayReason[3]>>," and this train will be standing by "momentarily." <<set $extraMapsVariable to false>> You absolutely hate when this happens between stations, since it means you can't even get off the train to try something else. [[You just have to sit there and wait.|AltChar1]]

You get on the Chartreuse Line towards Shady Grove. It goes through stations called <<print $stationName[13]>>, <<print $stationName[14]>>, and <<print $stationName[15]>>, none of which you have heard of. After leaving this third station, but before getting to the next one, the announcement comes that the line is "experiencing a slight delay due to <<print $delayReason[2]>>," and this train will be standing by "briefly." <<set $extraMapsVariable to false>> You absolutely hate when this happens between stations, since it means you can't even get off the train to try something else. [[You just have to sit there and wait.|Char1]]

Although it seems, given how slowly the wait-time counter decreases, that the train is approaching at a rate of less than one minute per minute, eventually it does arrive, and you board. The train is packed, other than one conspicuously empty seat, which you avoid. You end up squished up against the door. Through its window, you have a great view of <<print $windowView[1]>> You also have a high chance of falling out if you don't brace yourself when the door opens. Now you'll have to figure out how you're getting to City Center. You could change for the Purple Line at <<print $stationName[0]>> or the Red Line at <<print $stationName[1]>>. <<set $YellowLine2 to true>> [[Take the Purple Line|PurpleLine]] [[Take the Red Line|OnRedLine]]

You make your way through the darkened station and exit into a cavernous underground space. Other than the station, you can't see any buildings, but then you can't see very far in the gloom. Here and there, grey, semi-transparent shades flit by, human-shaped but with indistinct features. You realize you accidentally got on the train that brings the souls of the dead to the afterlife. Easy mistake to make, right? Must happen all the time. Easily fixed, too--all you have to do is cross the platform and wait for a train going the other direction. Of course, you're going to be waiting a long time. Maybe an eternity. <<run State.metadata.set('ending1', true);>><<run State.metadata.set('completedonce', true);>> <center>''[[Ending #1: Express Train to Hell|Endings]]''</center>

The #27 shows up more or less on time, and you get on and sit down next to <<print $busPassenger[1]>>. This bus will take you all the way downtown, so you can just sit back and look out the window at <<print $windowView[3]>> Or so you think, until the bus takes a left turn onto Hillsdale Road, which it doesn't usually do. There must be some kind of construction detour you didn't know about. [[Push the stop-request button.|StopRequest]] [[Just see where it goes.|27Bus2]]

You walk to the #51 bus stop and stand right under the bus stop sign. Ten minutes later, a #51 bus appears and drives right past you. Did the driver not see you? The bus drives up to the next intersection and stops there. Some people get off. Honestly, if they're going to move the bus stop like that, would it kill them to cover up the sign or something? Better yet, have some kind of notice that directs you to where the bus stop actually is? [[Wait for the next #51 at the new stop.|51Bus2]] [[Go back to the Red Line.|WaitRedLine]] [[Take the #27.|27Bus]]

You text your friend Jess to complain about your transit experience. //lol that's nothing,// she responds. //did i ever tell you about the time i tried to take the train in italy?// You wonder why you're still friends with Jess. <<set $TextFriend to true>><<set $VanillaTrain += 1>> <<return>>

You look out the window and see <<print $windowView[6]>> <<set $Window to true>><<set $VanillaTrain += 1>> <<return>>

By the time you get to City Center you've missed the commuter train you usually take, but at least there's another one half an hour later. You kill time by buying yourself a pastry and a coffee at the coffee shop near the platform entrance, and then by people-watching. At one point, <<print $busPassenger[3]>> gets into a very heated argument with <<print $busPassenger[4]>>. Something about whether the Yellow Line does or does not go to <<print $stationName[14]>>, which really seems to you like it should be easy enough to find out who's right, but no one asked you. [[At last your train arrives.|CommuterTrainWork]]

<><<if $AltChar1 is 0>>Eventually the train starts moving. But ten minutes later, just outside of a station whose sign reads Verywell, the train stands by //again//, apparently due to "<<print $delayReason[4]>>." And then ten or fifteen minutes after //that//, it's "due to <<print $delayReason[5]>>." You're getting pretty bored. <<elseif $AltChar1 gt 0 and $AltChar1 lt 3>>The train remains at a standstill. <</if>> <<if $Text2 is false>>[[Text a friend.|Text2]] <</if>> <<if $TalkNeighbor is false>>[[Talk to the person next to you.|TalkNeighbor]] <</if>> <<if $Window2 is false>>[[Look out the window.|Window2]] <</if>> <<if $AltChar1 is 3>>[[The train finally starts moving.|AltChar2]]<</if>> <>

Whatever the reason for the delay, eventually the train shows up. [[You get on.|OnRedLine]]

You text your friend Chris to complain about your transit woes. //Yeah, I hate that,// Chris replies. //Especially when it's due to <<print $delayReason[6]>> or <<print $delayReason[7]>>. Those are the worst.// <<set $Text2 to true>><<set $Char1 += 1>><<set $AltChar1 += 1>> <<return>>

You must be really desperate for something to do if you're even considering such a grievous violation of the social contract of the subway. On second thought, better not. <<set $TalkNeighbor to true>><<set $AltChar1 += 1>> <<return>>

After a lot of stopping and starting, the train finally pulls into City Center. You disembark and go up to the concourse level to change to the commuter rail. You think maybe, considering the morning you've had, you'll treat yourself and buy a pastry at the coffee shop over by the commuter rail platform entrance. When you get there, though, there's a fast-food joint where the coffee shop used to be. You ask the guy at the counter what happened to the coffee shop, hoping that it might just have moved to a different location in the station. The guy looks at you blankly and says something in a language you don't understand. Looking around, you realize that all the signage in the station is now in... is that Nahuatl? You think it might be Nahuatl. Clearly you picked the wrong Shady Grove to go towards and now you're in some kind of alternate reality or mirror universe. That's going to make it //very// hard to get to work. <<run State.metadata.set('ending2', true);>><<run State.metadata.set('completedonce',true);>> <center>''[[Ending #2: What the Sub?|Endings]]''</center>

You look out the window and see <<print $windowView[4]>> Fascinating. <<set $Window2 to true>><<set $Char1 += 1>><<set $AltChar1 += 1>> <<return>>

<><<if $Char1 is 0>>Eventually the train starts moving. But ten minutes later, just outside of a station whose sign reads Verywell, the train stands by //again//, apparently due to "<<print $delayReason[9]>>." And then ten or fifteen minutes after //that//, it's "due to <<print $delayReason[10]>>." This is driving you absolutely nuts. <<elseif $Char1 gt 0 and $Char1 lt 3>>The train is still stopped dead. <</if>> <<if $Text2 is false>>[[Text a friend.|Text2]] <</if>> <<if $Window2 is false>>[[Look out the window.|Window2]] <</if>> <<if $StareSpace is false>>[[Stare into space and fantasize about a train system that actually works.|StareSpace]] <</if>> <<if $Char1 is 3>>[[The train finally starts moving.|Char2]]<</if>> <>

At last, you get to City Center, and go up to the concourse level to change to the commuter rail. Since you've had such a trying morning, you console yourself with a pastry from the coffee shop over by the commuter rail platform entrance. The pastry is a little stale, but the important thing is that it contains a lot of sugar. Your train arrives and you get on. [[The hard part is over now.|CommuterTrain]]

Gazing at nothing in particular, you indulge in a highly unrealistic fantasy about living somewhere with a train system that's clean, well-maintained, and efficient, that goes to all the places you need to go and runs more or less on time. You wonder if there's anywhere that's actually like that. <<set $StareSpace to true>><<set $Char1 += 1>> <<return>>

Now you're on the commuter rail, everything should be straightforward. Which is to say, the train might get delayed, but there's no alternative route from here on out, so if you're late it's not your fault. Two rows of seats behind you, a group of frat bros are passing around a water bottle that definitely actually contains vodka, even though it's like 8:30 AM, but whatever, you have headphones. <> <<if $WindowCommuter is false>>[[Look out the window.|WindowCommuter]] <</if>> [[Nap.|NapCommuter]] <>

You gaze out the window at <<print $windowView[5]>> <<set $WindowCommuter to true>> <<return>>

You've been doing this for so long now that you've become an expert at commuter-train napping. You always wake up right before your stop. You put on a playlist of soothing rain sounds to drown out the frat bros and [[let yourself drift off|WrongSpringfield]].

As always, you open your eyes just before the conductor comes into the car to announce that the next stop is Springfield. When the train pulls into the station, you grab your bag and exit. The city you exit into, however, is totally unfamiliar to you. You stand by the side of the road and look around, trying to get your bearings. Then you notice that the cars driving past have Illinois license plates. Oh, no--you've ended up in the wrong Springfield entirely! You're //really// going to be late to work now. <<run State.metadata.set('ending3', true);>><<run State.metadata.set('completedonce', true);>> <center>''[[Ending #3: A Trip and a Half|Endings]]''</center>

You hit the "stop request" button, but the driver just blows past the next bus stop you see. You hit it a few more times before the next stop, but the driver passes that one too. [[You don't think he's paying attention at all.|27Bus3]]<<set $StopRequest to true>>

You sit back and wait to see if maybe it will join up with the route it normally takes, but it just gets farther and farther away. [[Push the stop-request button.|27Bus3]]

You <<if $StopRequest is true>>keep mashing<<else>>mash<</if>> the stop-request button over and over. Across the aisle, you can see <<print $busPassenger[2]>> doing the same, but to no avail. The driver is completely ignoring you. [[Guess you're going wherever this bus takes you.|BusDepot]]

You zone out for a bit, and eventually the bus stops. Somehow you're the only passenger now, even though there was no chance for anyone to get off. The door slides open. The driver turns the bus off and leaves. [[Get off the bus|BusDepot2]]

You take in your surroundings. You are in the middle of a fenced-off area full of buses stretching a long way in every direction. In the distance, you can just make out a squarish brown building. The sleeping buses snore gently. [[Go towards the building.|BusDepotBuilding]] [[Wake up a bus.|WakeBus]]

Once you're on the commuter train, you feel a great sense of relief. There might still be delays, but there are no alternate routes from here on out, so you're not responsible for figuring out some other way to get there. Indeed, the train does stop for a while "due to <<print $delayReason[8]>>," and in the end you're nearly an hour late to work, but that barely registers after the morning you've had. "Train problems," you explain to your boss. "Oh, I know how it is," she says. "Did I ever tell you about the time I was stuck on a commuter train for //two hours// because of <<print $delayReason.pluck()>>? It's a funny story..." <<run State.metadata.set('ending8', true);>><<run State.metadata.set('completedonce', true);>> <center>''[[Ending #8: Another Day at the Office|Endings]]''</center>

You enter the building. Just inside the door is a large desk with <<print $busPassenger[5]>> sitting at it. You ask him how you can get a bus out of here. "Buses don't run from here," he says. You point out that there are dozens of buses out there right now and they must go somewhere sometime. "Yeah, but it's not a bus //stop//," he says. "So you can't get on here. You have to go to the start of the line to get on." "So where's the start of the line?" you ask. "Oh, about a couple miles thataway," he says, gesturing in a vague direction. [[Check your navigation app.|CheckMaps]] [[Start walking in that direction.|StartWalk]] [[Wake up a bus.|WakeBus]]

Maybe if you wake up a bus, you can convince it to take you somewhere. Of course, never having woken up a bus, you're not really sure how to do it. <> <<if $BusWake is 0>>[[Speak politely to it.|Polite]]<</if>> <<if $BusWake is 1>>[[Speak loudly to it.|Loud]]<</if>> <<if $BusWake is 2>>[[Speak even more loudly to it.|Louder]]<</if>> <<if $BusWake is 3>>[[Pound on the side of the bus.|BusBadEnd]]<</if>> <>

You start walking in the direction the bus depot desk guy indicated. You walk for about twenty minutes without passing a single bus stop. At roughly minute twenty-three, however, you spot a dog park across the street. The idea of winding down from your stressful morning by watching some dogs is //really// appealing right now. [[Check your navigation app to see where the nearest bus stop is.|CheckMaps]] [[Just go to the dog park.|DogPark]]

You address the bus in a quiet, polite tone, but it slumbers on. <<set $BusWake += 1>> <<return>>

You yell, "Hey, bus! Wake up!" but it doesn't stir. <<set $BusWake += 1>> <<return>>

With all the volume you can muster, you shout "HEY! WAKE UP!!" The bus is still snoring. <<set $BusWake += 1>> <<return>>

You pound your fist on the side of the bus repeatedly. The bus springs to life and backs up so it can turn to face you. Its headlights gleam angrily. It roars. You have just enough time before it attacks you to wish you had done something else. <<run State.metadata.set('ending6', true);>><<run State.metadata.set('completedonce', true);>> <center>''[[Ending #6: Let Sleeping Buses Lie|Endings]]''</center>

You go into the dog park and sit down on a bench. All kinds of dogs--small dogs and large dogs, fluffy dogs and sleek dogs, purebred dogs and mutts--pass you as they go about their doggy errands. You even get to pet some of them. You're probably going to get fired for not showing up to work, but honestly, at this point, you don't even care. <<run State.metadata.set('ending7', true);>><<run State.metadata.set('completedonce', true);>> <center>''[[Ending #7: Dog Park!|Endings]]''</center>

Eventually another #51 bus comes along, and you get on, sitting down next to <<print $busPassenger[0]>>. The bus sits in traffic a bit, but otherwise you have [[a completely uneventful ride to the Blue Line.|ActualBlueLine]]

When you get into the station, you see two signs pointing in different directions, labelling the platforms NORTHBOUND and SOUTHBOUND. You don't actually know which way City Center is from here. There is, however, a third sign pointing in yet another direction that it claims to be "TOWARD ClTY CENTER." [[Take the northbound train.|BlueLineNorth]] [[Take the southbound train.|BlueLineSouth]] [[Take whatever the third train is.|BlueLineFake]]

North turns out to be not the direction you were trying to go. Whoops. The next two stations, <<print $stationName[2]>> and <<print $stationName[3]>>, aren't really that useful, but you know you can [[change to the Purple Line at Fordham Road.|PurpleLineTry]]

You take the Blue Line south, which does turn out to be the right direction. However, it goes through City Center without stopping. You check your transit app to find out if there were any alerts about this that you missed, and sure enough, only northbound Blue Line trains are stopping at City Center right now, due to track maintenance, or possibly <<print $delayReason[11]>>. The wording of the alert is a little unclear. "The next stop is <<print $stationName[8]>>," the recorded announcement tells you. "Change here for the Red Line and the Calico Line." [[Take the Red Line.|OnRedLine]] [[Take the Calico Line.|CalicoLine]]

You get on the train going "TOWARD ClTY CENTER," whatever direction that is. You ride through <<print $stationName[4]>>, <<print $stationName[5]>>, and <<print $stationName[6]>> without incident, but after that... maybe it's your imagination, but it seems like things are getting a little damp. "This stop is Aquarium," says the recorded announcement. [[A school of colorful fish swims past your window.|BlueLineFake2]]

Of course, when you get there, you learn that the Purple Line is currently experiencing delays due to <<print $delayReason[1]>>. You could go back to the Blue Line and take it the other direction, or you could exit the station and try taking the #27 bus downtown. [[Wait for the Purple Line.|WaitPurple]] [[Try the Blue Line.|LostInStation]] [[Catch the bus.|27Bus]]

You realize you have fallen for the oldest trick in the book--that wasn't an I in the ClTY CENTER sign at all, it was a lowercase L. You're not sure where this train is taking you, [[but it's not City Center.|AtlantisEnd]]

Eventually, the train glides through the water into a glittering undersea city of magnificent gold spires and domes and... other architectural things that you don't know the name of. The point is, it's very pretty. "This stop is Atlantis," the announcement says. "This is the final stop. Please make sure to take your belongings and watch your step when exiting the train." At this point you may as well call in sick to work, you think. If you've got a chance to explore a lost city, how can you turn it down? <<run State.metadata.set('ending4', true);>><<run State.metadata.set('completedonce', true);>> <center>''[[Ending #4: Phished by Fish|Endings]]''</center>

<><<if $RedKilledTime is 0>>The Red Line is so packed that you almost can't get on, <<if $YellowLine2 is true>>much like the Yellow Line was,<</if>> but you manage. Now you just have to hang in there until you get to City Center. <<elseif $RedKilledTime gt 0 and $RedKilledTime lt 3>>The train crawls along. You wish it would go faster. <</if>> <<if $TextFriend3 is false>>[[Text a friend.|TextFriend3]] <</if>> <<if $DoneCrossword is false>>[[Do a crossword.|Crossword]] <</if>> <<if $WindowRed is false>>[[Try to look out the window.|WindowRed]] <</if>> <<if $RedKilledTime is 3>>[[The train pulls into the station at last.|CityCenter]]<</if>> <>

With great difficulty, you manage to get your phone out of your pocket and position it such that you can see it. Having accomplished this, you text your friend Abby to complain about your commute. She texts back a gif of some kittens climbing on each other. You're not sure whether that's supposed to be commentary on the situation or an attempt to cheer you up. <<set $TextFriend3 to true>><<set $RedKilledTime += 1>> <<return>>

You try to do a crossword, but the angle you have to hold your phone at is kind of hurting your wrist. Plus, it feels like the words keep changing around on you--you're pretty sure you didn't enter "CAPYBARA" as the answer to 4-Across, but there it is. You give up on the crossword. <<set $DoneCrossword to true>><<set $RedKilledTime += 1>> <<return>>

You're not in a position to be able to see the windows, but you hear someone who is probably a tourist loudly exclaim something about <<print $windowView[0]>> <<set $WindowRed to true>><<set $RedKilledTime += 1>> <<return>>

You start to head toward the commuter rail platforms, but the stairs going up to that part of the station are now completely blocked by fare gates. Huh. That's new. It looks like people are tapping their passes again to get out, so you reach into your pocket to pull out yours. [[It's not there.|CityCenterBadEnd]]

Frantically, you look around for the ticket machines. They're on the opposite side of the fare gates. You search every inch of the underground station, but there are none anywhere. Gradually, the reality of the situation sinks in. You're trapped. So you do the only thing you can do: you get back on the train. You may ride it forever--or at least until they install ticket machines on this side of the fare gates. <<run State.metadata.set('ending5', true);>><<run State.metadata.set('completedonce', true);>> <center>''[[Ending #5: Your Fate Is Still Unlearned|Endings]]''</center>

<><<if $CalicoLine is 0>>You get on the Calico Line with the vague feeling that it should go to City Center. By the time you've ridden through <<print $stationName[17]>>, <<print $stationName[18]>>, and <<print $stationName[19]>>, you find you can't remember why you thought that. You have a bit of time to kill before you can get off at the next station. <<elseif $CalicoLine gt 0 and $CalicoLine lt 3>>The train keeps rolling along toward the next station. You feel like this is taking forever. <</if>> <<if $extraMapsVariable is false>><<link [[Check your navigation app.|CheckMaps]]>><<set $extraMapsVariable to true>><<set $CalicoLine += 1>><</link>> <</if>> <<if $Text4 is false>>[[Text a friend.|Text4]] <</if>> <<if $PlayGame is false>>[[Play a game on your phone.|PlayGame]] <</if>> <<if $CalicoLine is 3>>[[The train reaches the station.|CalicoLine2]]<</if>> <>

Fascinated though you are by the stores, which are selling everything from vintage game cartidges to international groceries to books in French (and only in French), you have places to be, so you follow signs for the exit. However, you just end up in what seems to be a //different// underground mall, possibly associated with a station called <<print $stationName[16]>>. If you're reading the signs right, you could get on the Orange Vanilla line here. [[Get on the Orange Vanilla line.|OrangeMall]] [[Keep looking for the exit.|MallExit]]

Fortunately, following signs for the platform actually does get you to the platform, and looking at the map, [[you confirm that this train does go to City Center.|VanillaTrain]]

After further wandering--during which you think you may have entered yet a third underground mall--you wind up back in Fellsmoor. Now the only question is, how do you get out? <> <<if $extraMapsVariable is false>><<link [[Check your navigation app.|CheckMaps]]>><<set $extraMapsVariable to true>><</link>> <</if>> <<if $PsychicMap is false>>[[Connect psychically with the station map.|PsychicMap]] <</if>> [[Ask someone for help.|AskHelp]] <>

You reach out and touch the station map, projecting your consciousness into it, which is definitely, probably, an ability that you've had all this time. You can feel the station spread out in your mind's eye. You can see the trains coming and going, the passengers milling about, <<print $busPassenger[7]>> busking on the platform, and something that might be a large window or might be an elaborate mural of <<print $windowView[7]>> You cannot, however, see the exit. <<set $PsychicMap to true>> <<return>>

First you look around for any transit employees, but of course there are none to be found, so you flag down a passer-by, <<print $busPassenger[6]>>. They attempt to explain to you where the exit is, and after about fifteen repetitions you think you've got it down. You feel a little bad for wasting the time of someone who almost certainly had something better to do, but [[at least you know where the exit is.|FloridaEnd]]

You emerge into air so humid it feels like you're trying to walk through a sponge. The station entrance stands in the midst of a massive swamp with low-hanging trees and a whole lot of bits that look like they might be solid ground but are actually just plants growing in the swamp-water. You see something you think might be an alligator, or possibly a crocodile. You can't remember the difference. Other than the station, you can't see any buildings around here anywhere. With a sense of cold dread, you realize that you might be in Florida. <<run State.metadata.set('ending9', true);>><<run State.metadata.set('completedonce', true);>> <center>''[[Ending #9: The Worst Timeline|Endings]]''</center>

You text your friend Jake to complain about how awful your commute has been. He leaves you on read for a full fifteen minutes and then replies, //that sux :(//. <<set $Text4 to true>><<set $CalicoLine += 1>> <<return>>

You get off the train at <<print $stationName[20]>> and head for the exit. The good news is, it's easy to find. The bad news is, the station exits directly into an IKEA. And the IKEA's exit is //not// easy to find. You spend at least an hour looking for it before you just don't have it in you to look anymore. Well, if you're stuck here forever, at least you've got your choice of beds to sleep in, and you can live on meatballs from the cafeteria. It could be worse! You could be in Florida. <<run State.metadata.set('ending10', true);>><<run State.metadata.set('completedonce', true);>> <center>''[[Ending #10: What the Ektorp?|Endings]]''</center>

You play a game that involves matching soda cans to get points to upgrade your collection of mythical creatures. You don't remember installing the game, now that you think about it. After every level, it plays an ad, but it's always the same ad--something about an app where you can win real money by playing tic-tac-toe. You get fed up with it pretty fast. <<set $PlayGame to true>><<set $CalicoLine += 1>> <<return>>

<<if passage() is not "TitleScreen">> ''@@font-size:small;<<back "Undo">>@@''<</if>>

What the Bus?
A Transit Nightmare

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