Taco Fiction Hints

Hey! Thanks for playing Taco Fiction! Don't feel bad about using this hint file; people keep telling us it's more rewarding to figure things out by yourself, but we both know life is short, right? Right.

Go ahead and scroll through this document, looking for the black text that pertains to whatever has you stuck. (Watch out: The black text by itself is likely to be more and more of a spoiler the further you scroll down).

Highlight the first line of white text underneath that, and you'll see the first hint. You can keep highlighting more text to see more and more explicit hints. This is what they call "Invisiclues" style. (I stole the necessary HTML wizardry from Emily Short's excellent hints for her excellent game Savoir-Faire.)

In the parking lot

I just started and I don't know what's going on. What's going on? 

Look around the inside of your car first. 

Examine the pile of documents. Look at the dashboard. Try honking the horn. 

Go outside. 

Your mission is to rob Paco's Tacos. Head east from here.

This drunk guy is bugging me. 

He's harmless. Try talking to him. 

After you begin a conversation with him, enter the number of the response you want to say. 

How you choose to interact with him doesn't affect the rest of the game at all; don't worry. 

Try pointing your gun at him!

I want to get inside this car! 

Do you have a good reason? 


Oh, that's why. 

You could tell the police... 

...but they're useless. If you talk to the cashier at the ice cream place (east of Paco's) for a while, though, she might help you out. 

Regardless, you need something to break in with. What do you normally use to break into a car? 

Head inside Get Your Licks. 


Just for fun, TAKE HANGER again. 

Now go back to the silver Honda in the Paco's parking lot and UNLOCK CAR WITH HANGER. 

It's not the right shape. 


In the alley

How do I get in this door? 

There's no handle on this side of the door. 

It's impossible to open the door from this side. 

Maybe (If you're lucky) you'll get to open it from the other side later on.

Who are these guys walking around? 

They certainly are suspicious, aren't they? 

And they've all got blankets. 

It might be easier to deal with these guys after you've opened the safe in Paco's office. 

If you've done that, though, you might have a better idea of who these people are. 

Try threatening one of them (with a gun). 

Tell him to hand over his cloak... 

...and his mask. 

He got away, but you got what you wanted. Or needed, anyway.

At Paco's Tacos

Should I write down all these instructions for robbing the taco place? 


Well, if only to practice your penmanship.

I'm unable to successfully rob this establishment. 

Yeah, those police officers are making it hard. 

You could wait until they leave, but life is short (and they seem to be taking their time with those tacos). 

Or you could think of something else to do. 

Try sneaking into Paco's office ('GO NORTH').

How do I open this safe? 

You have to spin the dials to the correct combination. 

You could try the brute force method, but life is short. 

The combination might be written down somewhere. 

Have you looked in his desk? 


Now you just need to enter the combination! 


What do I do with this console? 

Are there buttons? Try pressing some buttons. 


Now pay attention to the video feeds. (You can mess around some more in the office while they're playing if you want.) 

The one on the right screen will stop after a while, but the one on the left goes into kind of a loop. 

Keep watching the feed on the left screen until you get bored.

What is the deal with this cashier? 

He's just sleep-deprived. Don't worry about him. 

You can get two things out of him. 

The first one is tacos. 

Tell him you want a taco, then wait. 

While he's gone, you can get a second thing out of him... 


You can repeat this until you either run out of money to pay for tacos or empty the tip jar.

These cops are useless! 

They totally are! 

They might be good for a laugh, though, if you're in the mood.

Outside La Pizzá

How do I get inside La Pizzá? 

Well, the front door is locked, and there's supposedly a fancy security system attached to it. 

So, not via the front door. 

Try looking around the vacant lot to the north. 

There's a fire escape here. 

GO UP doesn't work. Neither does PULL FIRE ESCAPE or JUMP. 

You need to hook onto the ladder with something... 

There are three things that might work. 

The easiest one is probably in the back seat of your car. 

Inside the Ford Focus: LOOK IN BACK. TAKE UMBRELLA. 

Then, back at the vacant lot: PULL LADDER WITH UMBRELLA. UP.

I'm stuck on the roof! 

Progressing from the rooftop garden will be easier if you've already broken into the Honda. 

When you've taken care of that, read the letter you found. 

The letter is pointing you to the cat statue. 

What to do with the cat statue? You could try talking to the cashier at the ice cream place... 

Otherwise, consider what you know about cats. 

If "PET CAT STATUE" sounds pathetic, you can always PRESS CAT STATUE. 

Get inside that access door quick, before the waterfall starts again.

Things get especially spoiler-ridden from here on down!

Here, I'll make some white space to act as a buffer. 

How are you liking the game? 

If you haven't played Doug Egan's "Afflicted" before, you should. 

It does the whole "scary restaurant adventures" thing a whole lot better than Taco Fiction does. 

The main reason I made this game was because I really wanted to create something called "Taco Fiction." I thought: That is a great title. It deserves to be the title of something good.

A while back I tried writing it as collaborative prose on a couple different internet forums. 

Both forums wrote great stories, but they both kind of ran with the idea in directions that didn't really match what I thought the name "Taco Fiction" was really about. 

Of course, this game probably doesn't mean exactly what I originally wanted "Taco Fiction" to mean, several years ago. 

But I'm happy with it! 

Thanks for playing!

Inside La Pizzá (???)

Can I get inside the restaurant through this window? 


This wolf head guy is being difficult. 

This part requires a few different elements. Make sure you've checked out everything else before you worry about Wolf Head Guy. 

One thing you need is a dagger .

You can get one after breaking into the silver Honda. 

You also need a mask and a cloak... 

...which you can get from one of the people wandering from the alley to the vacant lot. 

You also need to know what the secret handshake is. 

Unlock the safe in Paco's Tacos and watch the left screen to see it in action. 

Now, WEAR MASK, WEAR CLOAK, and approach the wolf-headed guard. 

He raises his hand to you, so: 


Then he waits for you to: 


Then he nods, so you: 



What is going on in here? 

Some weird secret club's secret meeting. You should expect to be confused, since you weren't really invited. 

Try out some hors d'oeuvres and look around as things progress. 

Eventually, a door will appear to the east. 

You could just wait for the inevitable shouting match to die down, but life is short. 

You can GO EAST whenever you feel like it.

Now I'm in the back office. What do I do? 

Well, there's a cashbox on the table. But it's locked. 

You'll need to unlock the cashbox. And for that, you need a key. 

It's not in the aquarium, or on the shelves. 

When you pick up the stack of menus, or any of the documents from the table, the key will fall out. 


Now get out of here! 

I need to escape! 

Don't worry! This part is pretty hard to mess up! 

GO NORTH from the office. 

Then GO UP the stairs. 

Then go west, through the emergency exit... 

And you're in the alley! 


Paco will tackle you, but you're not about to give up after all that. 

Try to talk to him if you want.... 

...but eventually you'll have to resort to the threat of violence. 

And then you're home free! Nice!

What's left to do? 

Well, you've got enough money to pay your rent and then some. 

You could get in your car and drive home. 

Or you could be a nice person. 

I don't mean nice to Paco! He'll get what he deserves. 

Go to Get Your Licks. 

Talk to the cashier. 

After you've gotten to know her, find out what her deal is and everything, you'll have a chance to show her the documents you found in the Mystery of Thoth's back office. 

Things will turn out just fine, don't worry.