Sugarcane

<<display 'Look out below'>>

"My wife, Sarah." He says as he points to a photo of a woman. He silently stares at it for a few moments. "The horse is named Henry. We had another one called Susan, too. She loved those horses, even made wigs from their hair when she had enough from trimming ‘em."\n\nHe pauses to drink some more of his tea. "I'll be the first to admit she was an odd one, but I loved that woman. She made me happier than I thought possible. Not a day goes by where I don't miss 'er."\n\n<<set $sarah = 2>><<display 'Time to talk'>>\n

You struggle towards the light with all your remaining strength.\n\nIt's emitting from a house.\n\nYou slam open the door and collapse inside, the world fading around you.\n\n[[...|Wake]]\n

You find and iron your most trusted outfit and slip it on. You take a gander at yourself in the mirror and feel confident, until you remember that you're running late.\n\nThis is no time for self-appreciation!<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 5>><<set $dressedWell = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Rumbly tummy'>>

You explain your dire situation to the old man, who reveals his name to be John.\n\n<<if $axeAsk = 0>>"Alright," he says with a sniff. "The storm knocked out the phone line. The weather's died down enough that the CB Radio in my truck might work."<<endif>><<if $axeAsk = 1>>"Alright," he says with a sniff. "As for the axe, I was out choppin' firewood. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but it's bloody cold.\n\n"The storm knocked out the phone line. The weather's died down enough that the CB Radio in my truck might work."<<endif>>\n\nHe opens the door you crashed through earlier, and before closing it behind him, looks you in the eye and says "Stay right there. And don't touch anything."<<set $returnVar = 0>>\n\n<<display 'Kitchen'>>\n

You drink from your mug while keeping an eye on the man opposite you.\n\n<<display 'He drinks'>>

You quickly dive to the floor, knocking over the standee in the process. The man stares at it with menace in his eyes, and snarls "You." \n\nHe points the gun at the standee and fires. The bullet goes straight through the cardboard and into you.\n\nYou spend your last few moments on Earth lying there, shot through the heart, by the image of Jon Bon Jovi.\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|Outside the karaoke bar]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]\n

Your attempt to leap over Sarah's desk is foiled by your own foot getting caught on the ledge, sending you face first onto the floor, scattering papers in all directions in the process. You quickly stand up and dust yourself off.\n\n"Sorry, Sarah."\n\n"You're insane," she replies, doing a bad job of hiding her irritation as she gathers up the papers. "Just get to the meeting."\n\n<<display 'Meeting'>>

<<if $oldAge eq 1 AND $lookingUp eq 1 AND $jovi eq 1>><<set $oldAge = 0>><<set $lookingUp = 0>><<set $jovi = 0>><<endif>><<if $firstDeathGiven eq 1>><<if $oldAge neq 0 AND $lookingUp neq 0 AND $jovi eq 0>><<display 'SHOT THROUGH THE HEART BY BON JOVI'>><<endif>><<if $oldAge neq 0 AND $lookingUp eq 0>><<display 'LOOKING UP'>><<endif>><<if $oldAge eq 0>><<display 'OLD AGE'>><<endif>><<endif>><<if $firstDeathGiven eq 0>><<set $firstDeathGiven = 1>><<set $firstDeath = Math.floor(Math.random()*3+1)>><<if $firstDeath eq 1>><<display 'LOOKING UP'>><<endif>><<if $firstDeath eq 2>><<display 'OLD AGE'>><<endif>><<if $firstDeath eq 3>><<display 'SHOT THROUGH THE HEART BY BON JOVI'>><<endif>><<endif>>\n

As you move forward, the people surrounding you suddenly look up with terror in their faces, and flee the street.\n\n[[Look up.|Whew!]]\n[[Ignore the alarm of others and continue moving forward.|Splat]]\n

<<set $lookCloth = 1>>You lift the table cloth up and peek under it. You see what are clearly blood stains, smudged as if someone attempted to remove them with little success.\n\nYou put the cloth back down.\n\n<<display 'Kitchen'>>\n

You walk over to the pair of wigs, each sitting on a stand. One is [[blonde|Blonde]] and the other is [[brunette|Brunette]].

He grabs the nearest chair and starts flailing it wildly around! "Turn the music off!" he screams. "I'm not ready yet!"\n\n[[Use Bon Jovi as a shield!|Knocked his block off!]]\n[[Duck! DUCK!|Goose!]]\n[[Try to knock the chair from his hands!|Knock, knock!]]\n

Suddenly, John begins to choke. He slams his hands on the desk as the choking becomes more violent and he begins to struggle, knocking over his mug in the process, the coffee spilling all over the table cloth which it proceeds to burn straight through.\n\n"What the hell did you do t-," John's sentence is interrupted by a stream of vomit erupting from his mouth. He lunges at you and wraps his hands around your neck before collapsing to the floor.\n\nThe Rescue Services burst through the front door, stopping in their tracks as they see the lifeless body on the floor before looking at you.\n\nYou may be locked away for some time.\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|A cold kitchen]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]\n

You search through the closest and find nothing but old clothes and some fishing gear.<<set $checkedCloset = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Bedroom'>>

You decided that you don't need a firearm. You already have a set of guns sitting below your shoulders, after all.<<set $gun = 0>>\n\n<<display 'Bar'>>

To hell with this! It's not worth the risk.\n\nYou drive off like a little runaway, abandoning Rachel, and spend yet another night at home and alone.\n\nYour greatest fear is no longer Bon Jovi; it's now the amount of awkwardness you'll have to deal with at work on Monday.\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|Outside the karaoke bar]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]\n

<<if $chatted eq 0>>You stand back and watch others approach the Machine. A male who looks to be in his mid-to-late twenties walks towards it, shaking. \n\nHe inserts a coin, has his finger jabbed, and picks up the ticket that's printed shortly afterwards. With reluctance, he reads it and a wave of relief rolls across his body. He wipes sweat from his brow and walks away, still a little shaken, but not stirred.\n\n"Doing a bit of deathspotting, huh?" You turn around and see a young woman, maybe not even quite in her twenties, with azure blue hair and red rimmed glasses, and sporting a simple, black work uniform.\n\n[[Deathspotting?|Ask]]\n[[Yeah.|Yes]]\n[[Nah.|No]]<<endif>><<if $chatted eq 1>>\nYou stand back and wait for others to approach the Machine, but it appears the death rush is over. No one comes.\n\n[[Return your eyes to the mall.|Standing in a mall]]<<endif>>\n

You head out and trudge through the snow, trying to find some immediate assistance. After a short while, you turn around and see you've already lost sight of your car, your tracks leading back covered by snow.\n\n"Hmm," you think to yourself.\n\n[[Go east.|Lost]]\n[[Go west.|Lost]]\n[[Go north.|Lost]]\n[[Go south.|Lost]]\n

You insert your finger, wince slightly at the jab, then pick up and read the card that's quickly spat out.\n\n<html><h1><center>SHOT THROUGH THE HEART BY BON JOVI</center></h1>\n<html><h4><center>YEARS LATER...</center></h4></html>\nYou finally arrive at Rachel's house, a two-story villa overlooking the beach. Well, it actually belongs to her father, but he lets her have this one since he has another three dotted along the coast.\n\nRachel is what some people call a "trust fund kid." Despite her wealth, she still has a job, which is how you met her. Your desk is across from hers.\n\nSome of your other co-workers warned you about her, describing her as a bit of a wild one. But "weird" and "crazy" are often words boring people use to describe interesting ones.\n\nAnd besides, she invited you out with some of her friends, and you could do with a fun night out. It's been far too long since the last one.\n\nYou pull up into the drive way and approach the front door.\n\n[[Knock.|In da house]]<<set $waitForRach = 0>><<set $jovi = 1>><<set $joviPlayed = 1>><<set $toldRachel = 0>><<set $saidCrazy = 0>><<set $saidGun = 0>><<set $saidSing = 0>><<set $saidExcused = 0>>\n

You slam your entire weight against the man, making him stumble backwards and drop the chair to the ground as a group of patrons race to restrain him.\n\n<<display 'Outta here'>>\n

You launch yourself at Jon Bon Jovi and tackle him to the ground! It's at this point you realise that it's only a cardboard standee. You stand up and look around. Everyone is silently staring at you with wide eyes.\n\n"Uh, haha, my friend is a really huge fan of Jovi!" Rachel nervously explains. "Just had to hug him!" An "Ooh!" sweeps over the crowd and they return to their merry ways.\n\n"What the hell was that?" asks Rachel, clearly trying to restrain anger.\n\n[[Tell her about your death.|Reveal to Rachel]]\n[[Apologise and sit down at a table with her.|Sit on it]]\n

Machine of Death

<<if $waitingInCarTimer eq 7>><<display 'Footloose'>><<else>><<if $carWait eq 0>>You sit in the car and wait patiently. Snow continues to storm outside with no signs of stopping soon.<<endif>><<if $carWait eq 1>>You spend more time sitting in the car and waiting patiently. The snow storm carries on outside with no signs of relenting.<<endif>><<set $carWait = 1>>\n\n[[Wait.|Wait]]\n[[Try using your mobile phone.|Phone]]\n[[Try starting the car.|Ignition]]\n[[Go outside.|Outside]]<<set $waitingInCarTimer = $waitingInCarTimer + 1>><<endif>>\n

You pull the gun from the back of your pants, aim between Jon Bon Jovi's eyes, and pull the trigger.\n\nA bullseye. Jovi falls against the wall. Strangely, his expression doesn't seem to change at all.\n\nBy the time you realise it was only a cardboard standee, you've already been tackled to the ground by several patrons. Eventually you're escorted into the back of a police car as Rachel looks on in horror.\n\nYou better start livin' on a prayer about getting off lightly.\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|Outside the karaoke bar]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]\n

A rather ordinary, stainless steel kettle. You try to lift it up for closer inspection, but it's filled with water, making it a bit too heavy for you to pick up in your current state.<<set $checkedKettle = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Kitchen'>>

You get out of your car and enter the bar with Rachel. The sound of a trio of women singing a drunken rendition of Wannabe by the Spice Girls hits you like a brick in the face.\n\nAfter the initial aural shock wears off, you look around and examine your surroundings. It is quite possibly the tackiest bar you've ever been in. There's low red lighting, pictures of famous singers cover the wall, Christmas lights hang from the ceiling, and it's a slightly sticky where you're standing.\n\nThat said, it doesn't appear to be the dangerous, scum-dwelling establishment its exterior suggests. It's full of joyous people drinking, swaying and singing.\n\nYou take a moment to relish the drunken merriment. Then, in a corner, you see rock idol Jon Bon Jovi.\n\n<<if $gun eq 1>>[[Shoot him before he has the chance to strike!|Shoot]]<html></br></html><<endif>>[[Tackle him to the ground!|Tackle]]\n[[Duck! DUCK!|Duck]]\n[[Ignore him.|Ignore]]\n

Some consider the sandwich a form of self inflicted punishment to atone for past sins. Others believe it's a delicious delicacy.\n\nYou're not sure which camp you fall in, but are ever so slightly leaning towards the former.\n<<set $coins = $coins - 2>>\n[[Return your eyes to the mall.|Standing in a mall]]

someone knocks you off with their scooter, chase after her and boot her off her scooter, but you must stay focused\n\ncan try to give boss swift kick in the pants, instead you miss and end up falling backwards, last thing you do is look up at the ceiling as you smash your head on the corner of the table

You begin the long walk back home. On the way, you walk past the sign that almost ended your life, now partly responsible for prompting you to change it. \n\n"Things are looking up!"\n\nYou can't help but smile.\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></center></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|Later]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]<<set $meeting = 0>><<set $timePassed = 0>>\n

"I thought so, considering your hands." You look down at them and realise they're shaking.\n\n<<display 'On the beach'>>\n

You take one last look at the Machine and decide that, at least for today, you're content with not adding the knowledge of your inevitable demise to your purchases.\n\nFate can wait.\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></center></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|The beginning]]\n

<<set $alleyRandom = 0>><<set $alleyRandom = Math.floor(Math.random()*2+1)>><<if $alleyRandom eq 1>><<set $timePassed = $timePassed - 2>>You dash down the alley. Brilliant! There's no loading truck! You move to the next street with ease.<<endif>><<if $alleyRandom eq 2>><<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 3>>You dash down the alley. Damn! There's a loading truck! You slowly navigate around it, recieve odd looks from the delivery people, and move down to the next street.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $timePassed lte 25>>You let out a sigh of relief when you come out to the street and see the bus coming towards you. You hope on, and it eventually drops you off outside the office.\n\n<<display 'Something foyer'>><<else>>You emerge from the street only to see the bus driving off in the distance. You were too slow! \n\nYou could dash down to a main street while looking up the number of a taxi company in your phone, and arrange for someone to drive you to the building. Or just forget about it and move on with your life.\n\n<<set $timeToGo = 30 - $timePassed>><<if $timeToGo gt 0>>You have <<print $timeToGo>> minutes left!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo eq 0>>You're about to be late!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo lt 0>>You're now <<print $timeToGo>> minutes late!<<endif>>\n\n[[Call a cab. (One minute)|Hell cab]]\n[[Call it quits.|Gone home]]\n<<endif>>

"I know," she says. "But I still feel a little bad. Tonight was supposed to be fun!" She stares out of the passenger window. "What a disaster."\n\n<<display 'A message'>>\n

This is no time for hunger games! You stride past the vendor and down the street, a sense of determination in each step you take.<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 1>><<set $ateFood = 0>>\n\n<<display 'Busted'>>\n

<<set $busRandom = 0>><<set $busRandom = Math.floor(Math.random()*49+1)>><<if $busRandom eq 25>><<display 'Holy crap, I can't believe that worked'>><<endif>><<if $busRandom neq 25>><<display 'Not this time'>><<endif>>

He lifts the mug to his lips and takes a few large gulps before placing it back on the table, his hands wrapped around it.\n\n<<display 'Time to talk'>>\n

TODO:\n1. add random flavour text to the mall scene\n2.\n\n

You do nothing but wait and keep an eye on the man opposite you.\n\n<<display 'He drinks'>>\n

She snorts and begins to laugh. She hunches over, as if she's struggling to breathe for a moment before coughing up some of her sandwich.\n\n"You almost killed me with that one," she says, a smile on her face. "Would have almost been worth it. Let's see what we can come up for this one!"<<set $poop = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Yet another'>>\n

The Sinner's Sandwich. Freshly shaved slices of turkey, strawberry jam, and a sprinkling of honey nut cornflakes between two slices of bread.\n<<if $coins lt 2>><html></br></html>Tragically (or perhaps luckily), you're not carrying enough money to experience this culinary curiosity.<<endif>>\n<<if $coins eq 2 OR $coins gt 2>>[[Buy one for two dollars.|Eating a sinner]]<<endif>>\n[[See what else is on offer.|Menu]]\n

You drive past a billboard advertising the latest Machine iteration. Some clever graffiti makes it read "Death to the Machine of Death." It looks like you've wandered into one of THOSE neighbourhoods.\n\nYou eventually arrive at the bar, which appears to be the kind of questionable repute. Half the tubes of its buzzing, neon name tag aren't functioning, the bin outside is overflowing, and a row of motorcycles are lined up next to it.\n\n"I've no idea what I'm going to sing first," Rachel excitedly mutters to no one in particular as she hurries out of the car and towards the bar's entrance.\n\nYou almost impulsively dash after her, when you suddenly remember something. In your glove box is a gun<<if $win eq 1>> (currently being safely guarded by your Wee Rex Adorable Plush)<<endif>>, which you keep handy for all potential Bon Jovi related emergencies.\n\n[[Take the gun.|Packing]]\n[[Leave the gun.|Lacking]]\n[[Just drive home.|Not so gleeful abandon]]\n

You throw money at the vendor, which frankly is a rather rude thing to do, and order a tofu dog topped with mango chutney.<<set $ateFood = 1>>\n\n[[No time to lose! Jam it in your mouth! (Two minutes)|Sloppy eater]]\n[[Just because you're in a hurry doesn't mean you have to lose your dignity! Eat it carefully! (Three minutes)|Stealth eater]]\n\n

You look at the photo on the bedside table. It shows what appears to be a young couple on their wedding day. The kind of wedding from a different era, say, fifty or so years ago.<<set $checkedBedPhoto = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Bedroom'>>

Shock shatters the miniature rock star's face before it's quickly replaced with anger. "That sort of talk isn't going to help my recovery at all! You're bad medicine. And bad medicine is not what I need."\n\nHe gives you a little growl, then walks over to his bed, curls up, and sends you the cutest death stare before falling asleep, moments before Rachel bounds down the stairs with her usual energy.\n\n<<display 'Time to go'>>

You sprint after the bus, but it just feels like it keeps slipping further away!<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 1>>\n\n<<display 'Streets'>>\n

You grab the gun and try to wrestle it from the man's hands, only to hear a loud BANG before you fall backwards into the standee and onto the floor.\n\nYou spend your last few moments on Earth lying there, shot through the heart, by the image of Jon Bon Jovi.\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|Outside the karaoke bar]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]\n

A man walking past you suddenly halts and screams "STOP!" at the top of his lungs. It's effective; though the music keeps playing, all the people in the bar turn to look at him.\n\n<<if $gun eq 1>><<display 'Gun grab'>><<endif>><<if $gun eq 0>><<display 'Your move!'>><<endif>>

<<set $winRandom = Math.floor(Math.random()*9+1)>><<if $winRandom eq 5>><<set $win = 1>>You manoeuvre the crane over the tiny dino, lower and clasp the jaws around it, and lift it back up... and have it safely dropped down the chute! Score!<html></br></html><<endif>><<if $winRandom neq 5 and $win eq 0>>You manoeuvre the crane over the tiny dino, lower and clasp the jaws around it, and lift it back up... only for it to fall from the crane's frustratingly weak grasp. Curses! Foiled again, like yesterday's ham!<<endif>><<set $coins = $coins - 1>>\n<<if $coins eq 0 AND $win eq 0>><html></p></html>Sadly, you don't have any change left to try to win the dazzling dinosaur again.<html></p></html><<endif>><<if $coins gt 0 and $win eq 0>><html></br></html>[[Try again!|Play to win]]<<endif>><<if $win eq 0>><html></br></html><<endif>>[[Return your eyes to the mall.|Standing in a mall]]\n

You grab Jovi and hold him out in front of you at arm's length. The man stares at it with menace in his eyes, snarling "You." \n\nHe points the gun at the standee and fires. The bullet goes straight through the cardboard and into you.\n\nYou fall to the ground. You spend your last few moments on Earth lying there, shot through the heart, by the image of Jon Bon Jovi.\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|Outside the karaoke bar]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]\n

You safely stow the gun in your jacket.<<set $keptGun = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Here comes Jovi'>>

The hair of this wig is a white blonde, and is rough to touch. It's quite long, just above shoulder length. Underneath the wig stand is a label that reads "Susan."<<set $blonde = 1>><<if $brunette eq 1>><<set $checkedWigs = 2>><<endif>>\n\n[[Examine the brunette wig.|Brunette]]\n[[Examine the rest of the bedroom.|Bedroom]]\n

<<if $waitingInCarTimer eq 7>><<display 'Footloose'>><<else>><<if $car eq 0>>After a few moments of dealing with the shock, you move your chair back to give yourself some space and assess your situation. Looking out the windows, you see nothing but snow and darkness. <<if $win eq 1>>A glace down at the passenger seat reveals that your Wee Rex has fallen from his distinguished position on the dashboard. <<endif>>\n\nWell, this is a rather unfortunate situation. Not life threatening - at least, not to you - but tedious nonetheless. Still, better try find a way out of this predicament.<<endif>><<if $car eq 1>>You get back in the car, still stuck in a pickle.<<endif>>\n\n[[Try using your mobile phone.|Phone]]\n[[Try starting the car.|Ignition]]\n[[Wait.|Wait]]\n[[Get out of car.|Outside]]<<if $car eq 0>><<set $car = 1>><<endif>><<set $waitingInCarTimer = $waitingInCarTimer + 1>><<endif>>\n

You wander down to the beach with Rachel. It's a serene scene, with the moonlight shimmering on the ocean, the waves gently lapping the sand.\n\n"At least we'll have a story to tell at work," Rachel suggests.\n\n[["What do you see in a place like that?"|Why the dive?]]\n[["Is this how all your nights end up?"|Nights]]\n

Shock shatters the miniature rock star's face before it's quickly replaced with hurt. You almost feel like apologising, but before you can, Bon Jovi stares you straight in the eyes and says "Don't. The damage is done."\n\nWith his head lowered, he slowly trundles off to his bed, curls up, and gives you puppy dog eyes before falling asleep, moments before Rachel bounds down the stairs with her usual energy.\n\n<<display 'Time to go'>>\n

"Fine," he responds. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out, because I don't want ass prints on my door."<<set $fired = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Later'>>\n

The Lister sandwich. Take one slice of bread. Throw a fried egg on it and smother it with fruit chutney. Stack on another piece of bread and throw a fried egg on top, this time smothered in chilli sauce. Seal the deal with a final slice of bread.\n<<if $coins lt 2>><html></br></html>Tragically (or perhaps luckily), you're not carrying enough money to experience this culinary curiosity.<<endif>>\n<<if $coins eq 2 OR $coins gt 2>>[[Buy one for two dollars.|Eating a lister]]<<endif>>\n[[See what else is on offer.|Menu]]

You excuse yourself and move away from the dog. "Don't be a little runaway!" Bon Jovi insists. "We ain't gonna live forever! Stay and talk!"<<if $waitForRach eq 3>><html></p></html>Both you and Bon Jovi become distracted by Rachel bounding down the stairs with her usual energy.<<endif>><<set $saidExcused = 1>>\n\n<<if $waitForReach neq 3>><<if $saidCrazy eq 0>><html></br></html>[["I must be going crazy."|Crazy]]<<endif>><<if $saidGun eq 0>><html></br></html>[["You don't happen to know how to use a gun, do you?"|Doggy with a gun]]<<endif>><<if $saidSing eq 0>><html></br></html>[["Care to sing one of your classics?"|Sing a song]]<<endif>>\n[["Shoo."|Shoo]]<<set $waitForRach = $waitForRach + 1>><<endif>>\n

Once everyone leaves the room, you approach David and show him your card.\n\nDavid scoffs. "Do you know what my death card says? Poison!" he yells, not even giving you a chance to guess. "Do you know what that means?"\n\n[["Your penchant for oysters is going to turn sour?"|Meaning]]\n[["You're going to be poisoned by a disgruntled employee?"|Meaning]]\n[["You're going to get hit by Poison's tour bus?"|Meaning]]\n

You rummage through the drawers, finding nothing but old clothes until you find a small, thin slip of cardboard buried at the bottom of one.\n\nIt's a death card.\n\n[[Read the card.|Card]]\n[[Examine the rest of the bedroom.|Bedroom]]\n

You stand in the middle of the room, fold you arms, and try to figure out how the hell they got that entertainment system through the front door. \n\nYou come to the conclusion that witchcraft was involved.\n\n<<display 'The meeting'>>

<<if $keptGun eq 1>>"Hello, Bon Jovi," you say.\n\n"Hello!" he responds.\n\nYou crouch down and give him a pat, only for your gun to fall from your jacket and onto the sand. Before you get the chance to grab it, Bon Jovi picks it up in his mouth.\n\n"Lookth what I foundth!" he excitedly exclaims before a loud bang rings out across the beach.\n\n"Oopth," you hear Bon Jovi say as the world fades around you.<<else>>"Hello, Bon Jovi," you say.\n\n"Wuff!" he responds.\n\nYou crouch down and give him a pat without a second thought. It feels good to let go of your fear for at least these few moments.\n\nAfter all, it's your life. It's now or never. You ain't gonna live forever. You just want to live while you're alive.<<endif>>\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|Outside the karaoke bar]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]\n\n

<<set $axeAsk = 1>> He seems taken aback by the implied accusation. "No," he replies, his voice as cold as the snow outside. "First you tell me what the devil you're doing in ‘ere."\n\n[[Explain your situation.|Explain]]\n

Before you even finish knocking, Rachel almost rips the door from its hinges as she opens it. "Hey, come in!" she excitedly shrills, her blonde hair dancing on her shoulders, where they meet the top of a long, understated black dress. You greet and follow her into the lounge room, which is about the size of a restaurant. A large restaurant. It's complete with a bar and ludicrously large entertainment system.\n\nShe gestures about the room as she hastily walks towards the stairs. "Sit wherever you like!" she insists.\n\n[[Sit on a sofa.|Sofahh]]\n[[Sit on a barstool.|Making a stool of yourself]]\n[[Remain standing.|Standing your ground]]\n

You lift the warm mug to your lips and take a small sip of hot tea.\n\n<<display 'Time to talk'>>

Your eyelids become too heavy for your face to handle, and you pass out.\n\nYou wake sometime later in a hospital bed. An attempt to stand up ends with falling flat on the floor. Looking down, you notice that you're now equipped with half the feet you're used to. It turns out that, while you were found and saved in the snow, a foot had to be amputated due to a particularly nasty case of frostbite.\n\nThough it takes time to adjust, you manage to live a long, productive life with a prosthetic replacement, and get perhaps just a little too much use out of your "sole survivor" joke.\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|OLD AGE]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]\n

As she walks off, you feel the weight of the gun press against you.\n\nYou think about that crazed man at the bar, and how easily it could have been you. People call Rachel the crazy one, but you're the one carrying a gun around in case you bump into members of Bon Jovi!\n\n[[It's time to let it go. Dismantle the gun to the best of your ability and get rid of it.|Dismantle and dispose]]\n[[Things could have gone a lot worse tonight. Who knows when I'll need that gun to survive!|From my cold, dead hands]]\n

You quickly grab the gun, stash it in your jacket, and close the glove box.\n\n<<display 'The drive home'>>\n

You squeeze some toothpaste into your mouth and combine it with water, swivel the mixture around for a bit, then spit it out.\n\nWell, that should take care of your breath. You'll just have to remember not to smile too much.<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 1>><<set $brushedTeeth = 0>>\n\n<<display 'Dressing time'>>\n

You hear a knock at the door. John gets up to open it and welcomes in a couple of rescue workers. They bring some equipment over to check your well-being and lend you some crutches to help you get around.\n\nBefore you leave, you turn around to thank John but he's nowhere to be seen. Then he walks out of the bedroom, carrying some fishing gear.\n\nHe looks over to you and nods. "Nice to meet ya. Hope you have a good life."\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|A cold kitchen]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]\n

You wait. Wind beats against the walls outside.<<set $bePatient = $bePatient + 1>>\n\n<<if $bePatient lt 5>><<display 'Kitchen'>><<else>><<display 'Returns'>><<endif>>

You give your body the scrub down it so desperately needs, running a flannel over every bump and diving deep into every crevice, and eventually emerge from the shower minty fresh.<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 8>><<set $showered = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Teeth'>>\n

And now you understand why it's advised to eat them while drunk. At least the peas had some nutrients, making it the closest thing Deady's have to a healthy meal.\n<<set $coins = $coins - 4>>\n\n[[Return your eyes to the mall.|Standing in a mall]]\n

The trick to a Lister Sandwich is to eat it before the bread disintegrates. It makes you feel like you're having a baby.<<set $coins = $coins - 2>>\n\n[[Return your eyes to the mall.|Standing in a mall]]\n

You take the gun out of your glove box and, to feel like an action hero, stuff it down the back of your pants, sliding your top over it to hide it from vision.<<set $gun = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Bar'>>\n

As you groggily regain consciousness sometime later, you look up through your dazed eyes and can't help but feel alarmed by the stranger standing over you with an axe.\n\n[[Defend yourself!|Attack!]]\n

John comes out of the bedroom visibly irritated, closes the door behind them, and sits opposite you at the table.\n\n[[Wait.|Waiting together]]\n[[Drink tea.|Drinking tea together]]\n

David seems taken aback by your unexpected response. After a few brief moments of awkward silence, he finally responds with a flat "Just do some work."\n\nYou proceed to do so.\n\n<<display 'Later'>>

You quickly duck, narrowly avoiding getting your noggin knocked off by a chair swinging through the air. Moments later, a group of patrons rush to restrain the chair man.\n\n<<display 'Outta here'>>\n

You hear Rachel's phone buzz. She pulls it from her pocket and reads a message.\n\n"It's from a friend I saw at the bar," she reveals. "The guy who went crazy... turns out his card said 'shot through the heart by Bon Jovi.'" <<if $toldRachel = 1>>She looks at you. "How crazy a coincidence is that?"<<endif>>\n\nYou pull up outside Rachel's villa. She sighs. "I need some air and gonna go walk down the beach. Want to come along?" she asks.\n\n[["I could do with some air."|Thanks]]\n[["I'd rather just drive home."|No thanks]]\n

You try to make your way up the stairs, but it seems the current condition of your body isn't up to it. You'll have to stick to low-level tasks.<<set $checkUp = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Kitchen'>>\n

Look up? Ha! You're not falling for it that easily! Unfortunately, it turns out a billboard high above you DOES fall that easily, and straight onto you.\n\nAs the screams you hear around you slowly fade and your vision begins to blur, you look at the words which ended your life.\n\n"Things are looking up!"\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></center></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|Later]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]<<set $meeting = 0>><<set $timePassed = 0>>\n

<<if $inBedroom eq 1 AND $seePoison eq 1>><<set $returnVar = 1>><<endif>><<if $manWait lt 4 AND $returnVar neq 1>><<if $lookedKitchen eq 0>>You look around the room you're in and find it to be a small, modest kitchen.<<endif>><<if $lookedKitchen eq 1>>You're in a small, modest kitchen.<<endif>> There's a sink with a <<if $checkedKettle eq 0>>[[kettle|Kettle]]<<else>>kettle<<endif>> to its left, a collection of <<if $checkedDrawers eq 0>>[[drawers|Drawers]]<<else>>drawers<<endif>> to its right, and a <<if $getPoison eq 0>>[[cupboard|Cupboard]]<<else>>cupboard<<endif>> below it. A <<if $checkedPantry eq 0>>[[pantry|Pantry]]<<else>>pantry<<endif>> door stands tall in the corner, with a number of <<if $checkedPhotos eq 0>>[[framed photograghs|Photos]]<<else>>framed photograghs<<endif>> displayed on the wall next to it. A <<if $lookCloth eq 0>>[[table|Table]]<<else>>table<<endif>> sits at the centre of it all.\n\nStairs lead <<if $checkUp eq 0>>[[up|Stairs]]<<else>>up<<endif>> and a door leads [[east|Bedroom]]. Another door leads back <<if $checkOutside eq 0>>[[outside|The door]]<<else>>outside<<endif>>.\n\nThe <<if $checkAxe eq 0>>[[axe|Axe]]<<else>>axe<<endif>> remains stuck in the floor.<<set $lookedKitchen = 1>><<endif>><<if $inBedroom eq 1 AND $seePoison eq 1 AND $manWait lt 1>><<display 'Returns'>><<endif>>\n\n<<if $manWait lt 1>>[[Wait.|Patience]]<<endif>>\n

You move around to the side of the Machine and read the slip of paper:\n\n<<if $lookingUpPlayed eq 1>>[[LOOKING UP|LOOKING UP]]<<endif>><<if $lookingUpPlayed eq 0>>XXXXXXXXXX<<endif>>\n<<if $oldAgePlayed eq 1>>[[OLD AGE|OLD AGE]]<<endif>><<if $oldAgePlayed eq 0>>XXXXXXXXXX<<endif>>\n<<if $joviPlayed eq 1>>[[SHOT THROUGH THE HEART BY BON JOVI|SHOT THROUGH THE HEART BY BON JOVI]]<<endif>><<if $joviPlayed eq 0>>XXXXXXXXXX<<endif>>\n\n[[Return your eyes to the mall.|Standing in a mall]]\n

"Are you sure?" she asks, raising a concerned eyebrow. "What about your hands?" You look down and realise they're shaking.\n\n[["Maybe you're right."|On the beach]]\n[["I'll be fine."|Drive off]]\n

David is, as usual, trying to conceal the fact that he's rapidly approaching forty by wearing clothes that belong on a twenty-five year old body. He has styled his hair into a faux hawk despite his obvious receding hairline.\n\nHe really does seem all a little too pathetic, but then you remember the infuriating fact that he's your boss.\n\n<<if $meeting eq 1>><<display 'Meeting 1'>><<endif>><<if $meeting eq 2>><<display 'Meeting 2'>><<endif>><<if $meeting eq 1>><<set $meeting = 2>><<endif>>\n\n<<if $meeting lte 2>>[[Look at company logo.|Logo]]\n[[Look at your co-workers.|Co-workers]]<<endif>>\n

put kettle in description\n\nreplace pantry with fridge\n\nlet players search kitchen while john is in bedroom\n\nadd extra dialouge where you reveal your death and he says he understands your first reaction to him, then laughs saying at least you didnt try to kill him afterwards, "hahaha!!!" is only response available

Rachel begins to ascend the stairs. "I'm running a little late, sorry! Give me another couple minutes. Bon Jovi will keep you company."\n\nYour eye twitches involuntarily. If the Machine is to be believed, the song Shot Through the Heart by American rock band Bon Jovi will signify your death. And the Machine is always to be believed.\n\n"Here he comes!" Rachel yells from the second floor. You look towards the bottom of the stairs and see a small, ginger Pomeranian waddle down them and towards you.\n\n"Hello," the furry creature says as he looks up at you. "I'm Bon Jovi!"\n\n[["I must be going crazy."|Crazy]]\n[["You don't happen to know how to use a gun, do you?"|Doggy with a gun]]\n[["Erm, hello. Care to sing one of your classics?"|Sing a song]]\n[["Shoo. Go away."|Shoo]]\n[["Excuse me."|Excused]]\n

You begin to run across the street and get out your phone. Unfortunately, you're so distracted with looking up the number that you don't notice the large truck speeding down the street.\n\nYou were supposed to be a smash hit at the <<if $fired = 0>>meeting<<endif>><<if $fired = 1>>interview<<endif>>, not on the road!\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></center></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|Later]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]<<set $meeting = 0>><<set $timePassed = 0>>\n

<<if $waitingInCarTimer eq 7>><<display 'Footloose'>><<else>><<if $ignition eq 0>>You push the airbag out of the way and see if the car will start.\n\nIt doesn't.<<endif>><<if $ignition eq 1>>You try the ignition again to see if the car has suddenly decided that it wants to start.\n\nIt hasn't.<<endif>>\n\n[[Wait.|Wait]]\n[[Try using your mobile phone.|Phone]]\n[[Try starting the car again.|Ignition]]\n[[Go outside.|Outside]]<<if $ignition eq 0>><<set $ignition = 1>><<endif>><<set $waitingInCarTimer = $waitingInCarTimer + 1>><<endif>>\n

You attempt to pull the axe from the wooden floor, but it's wedged in there good and proper, not to mention that you're not exactly at optimal strength.<<set $checkAxe = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Kitchen'>>\n

.passage {\n color: #ffffff;\n font-size: 13px;\n width: 700px;\n border-left: 0px;\n margin: 0;\n}\n\n#sidebar {\n display:none;\n}\n\na.internalLink, a.externalLink {\n color: 3366CC;\n}\na.internalLink:hover, a.externalLink:hover {\n color: 3399CC;\n text-decoration: none;\n}

You decide to play it cool, and ignore your potential assailant.\n\nYou notice everyone else is also ignoring him, which is a bit odd considering his level of fame. You look over to him again and realise it's only a cardboard standee.\n\nStandees don't have much of a history of gun violence, so you relax. You look around and see Rachel beckoning you over to her.\n\nDespite your efforts to hide your initial concern, it seems it didn't work quite well enough. "Are you okay?" Rachel asks with a concerned raised eyebrow.\n\n[[Tell her about your death.|Reveal to Rachel]]\n[[Say you're fine and sit down at a table with her.|Sit on it]]\n

There's still a bus to catch!\n\nAll the commotion has held up the traffic, but it won't last. You could try to run down the street and catch up to the bus while it's stalled, or run down the alley to meet with the bus on the next street, though there is the risk of a loading truck blocking your path.\n\nAnother thought occurs. You could dash down to a main street while looking up the number of a taxi company in your phone, and arrange for someone to drive you to the building.<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 1>>\n\n<<set $timeToGo = 30 - $timePassed>><<if $timeToGo gt 0>>You have <<print $timeToGo>> minutes left!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo eq 0>>You're about to be late!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo lt 0>>You're now <<print $timeToGo>> minutes late!<<endif>>\n\n[[Go down the alley and try to meet the bus at the next street. Fifty-fifty chance of success. (Gain two minutes on success. Lose three on failure)|Up your alley]]\n[[Just run down the street! (Two minutes)|Ain't worth it]]\n[[Call a cab. (One minute)|Hell cab]]\n

Peak hour ended an hour or so ago, alleviating the feeling of being a tinned sardine that's commonly associated with shopping malls, though there are still quite a few people busily bumbling about.\n\nTo your left is a [[fast food restaurant|Restaurant]]. To the right is a [[UFO catcher|UFO Catcher]], and a [[poster|Poster]] is hanging on the wall beside it. Behind you is the one of the [[mall's exits|Exit]].\n\nIn front of you stands [[the Machine|The Machine]].\n\n<<if $coins gt 1>>You're carrying <<print $coins>> dollars in change.<<endif>><<if $coins eq 1>>You're carrying 1 dollar in change.<<endif>><<if $coins eq 0>>You've spent all the loose change you were carrying.<<endif>>\n

"Brilliant," proclaims one yes man sitting at the table. "Genius," says another. "Groin grabbingly great," yells one who is clearly a little too excited.\n\n"Yes," David booms. "I hope it's not arrogant of me to say that I am the greatest man in the world."\n\nUneasy laughter breaks out from around the table, no one quite sure if David seriously believed this or not.\n\n"We'll have this slogan plastered on buses and billboards across the city within the month! Any questions? Good. Meeting adjourned!"\n\n[[Leave with everyone else.|Leave meeting]]\n[[Reveal your death card to David.|Reveal]]\n

You hear the scampering of little feet behind you and turn to see Bon Jovi joyously run to the shore, playfully running towards and away from the waves as they move in and out before he comes up to you.\n\n[[Reach down and give him a rub.|Brush with fame]]\n[[Ignore him.|Not playing the fame game]]\n

You're still not sure how you ended up with one of the higher PR positions. The only reason you're at the company at all is with the insistence and aid of your friend, Hannah, who now runs one of the larger branches in another city.\n\nDavid is always saying how you should look up to her for inspiration.\n\n"As I was saying, I was unsatisfied with the idiots at the advertising company we were working with, so we bought it and fired everyone," David proclaims with pride.

You insert your finger, wince slightly at the jab, then pick up and read the card that's quickly spat out.\n\n<html><h1><center>LOOKING UP</center></h1>\n<html><h4><center>YEARS LATER...</center></h4></html>\nOh, crap! Crap, crap, crap! Crappity crappy crap!\n\nPoop.\n\nYou're late for work for the third time this month! Your boss, David, is going to be steamed!\n\nYou dash out of the elevator and head straight for the meeting room, only to be blocked by a gaggle of co-workers who don't seem to appreciate the gravity of your situation. Between the crowd is Sarah's desk, which she is just about to sit at.<<set $lookingUp = 1>><<set $lookingUpPlayed = 1>>\n\n[[Dramatically leap over Sarah's desk.|Leap]]\n[[Dramatically dive under Sarah's desk.|Dive]]\n[[Calmly move through the crowd and around Sarah's desk.|Calm]]<<set $meeting = 0>><<set $fired = 0>><<set $timePassed = 0>><<set $busRandom = 0>>\n

You insert your finger, wince slightly at the jab, then pick up and read the card that's quickly spat out.\n\n<html><h1><center>OLD AGE</center></h1>\n<html><h4><center>YEARS LATER...</center></h4></html>\nIt was getting harder to see through the flurry of snow, so much so that you were considering maybe, just maybe, it wasn't such a great idea to go out driving during the worst snowstorm the region has had in over forty years. \n\nBut hey, you have a schedule to keep, and it's not like anything bad could happen to you. You continue to plow down the road to the best of your ability.\n\nSuddenly, a deer appears in your headlights!\n\n[[Slam on your brakes!|BREAK]]\n[[Swerve out of the way!|SWERVE]]\n[[Screw the deer! Keep on driving!|YOU'RE A TERRIBLE PERSON]]<<set $oldAge = 1>><<set $oldAgePlayed = 1>><<set $phone = 0>><<set $carWait = 0>><<set $car = 0>><<set $ignition = 0>><<set $wentOut = 0>><<set $lost = 0>><<set $axeAsk = 0>><<set $seePoison = 0>><<set $getPoison = 0>><<set $poisonCount = 0>><<set $poisoned = 0>><<set $inBedroom = 0>><<set $manWait = 0>><<set $lookCloth = 0>><<set $lookedKitchen = 0>><<set $getBullets = 0>><<set $waitingForHelp = 0>><<set $sarah = 0>><<set $askLooking = 0>><<set $waitingInCarTimer = 0>><<set $checkedDrawers = 0>><<set $checkedCupboard = 0>><<set $checkedPantry = 0>><<set $checkedPhotos = 0>><<set $lookCloth = 0>><<set $checkUp = 0>><<set $checkOutside = 0>><<set $checkAxe = 0>><<set $checkedBedPhoto = 0>><<set $checkedCloset = 0>><<set $readDeath = 0>><<set $checkedPainting = 0>><<set $checkedWigs = 0>><<set $brunette = 0>><<set $blonde = 0>><<set $bePatient = 0>><<set $checkedKettle = 0>>

You take the poison and hide it under your jacket.<<set $getPoison = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Kitchen'>>\n

<<if $manWait eq 0>>You're in a small, musky bedroom. A large double bed covered with a thick blanket is at the end of the room. Next to it is small nightstand with a lamp and <<if $checkedBedPhoto eq 0>>[[photograph|Photo]]<<else>>photograph<<endif>> placed on top of it.\n\nA <<if $checkedCloset eq 0>>[[closet|Closet]]<<else>>closet<<endif>> is against one wall, with a small table next to it housing a couple <<if $checkedWigs lt 2>>[[wigs|Wigs]]<<else>>wigs<<endif>>. Along the opposite wall is a set of <<if $readDeath eq 0>>[[drawers|Bedroom drawers]]<<else>>drawers<<endif>>. Above it sits a <<if $checkedPainting eq 0>>[[painting|Painting]]<<else>>painting<<endif>>.\n\nThe door to the kitchen is to the [[west|Kitchen]].<<set $inBedroom = 1>><<endif>><<if $manWait gt 0>>It's probably not a good idea to go poking around the bedroom while John is in there.\n\n<<display 'Returns'>><<endif>>\n

Hulk Handsome

"Cool," she says, nodding in approval. "It's how I kill time on my lunch break." She munches on a turkey sandwich.\n\n<<display 'Another'>>

"Of course."\n\n[["Why do you deathspot?"|Why]]\n[["What did your card say?"|Her]]\n

You swerve to avoid the deer, sending your car spinning off the icy roads and straight into a mound of snow with a mighty "VOOMPF!"\n\nLuckily, your head safely hits the quickly inflated airbag and no part of you seems to be seriously injured. Except for maybe your pride.\n\n<<display 'Inside car'>>

She rolls her eyes. "That's not very fun," she begins. "And also very unoriginal. Be imaginative!" She jams some more turkey in her mouth while pointing at someone else approaching the Machine. "Here's another one."\n\n<<display 'Yet another'>>\n

She finishes eating her lunch before giving an answer. "Turkey sandwich." She looks at her watch. "I'm gonna be late. Maybe I'll see you around." She gives a gentle smile and a weak wave before disappearing among the crowd of people.<<set $chatted = 1>>\n\n[[Return your eyes to the mall.|Standing in a mall]]\n

"Heh, sure you're not," she says, shooting a knowing look in your direction. "It's how I kill time on my lunch break." She munches on a turkey sandwich.\n\n<<display 'Another'>>

<html><center><h1>MACHINE OF DEATH</h1></center></p></html><<if $shownIntro eq 0>><html><center><i>Three short stories written and designed by Hulk Handsome. Based on the Machine of Death concept by Ryan North, used with permission. For more information, visit <a href="http://machineofdeath.net">machineofdeath.net</a>.</p>Special thanks to Ryan Herriman, Don Goldin and Andrew Schultz for testing and suggestions.</p>NOTE: please avoid using the "back" or "refresh" buttons of your browser, as it may cause the game to function incorrectly.</i></center></br></html><<endif>>You check the contents of your shopping basket: bread, milk and alcohol. Well, that's all the essentials, so you pay for your items, and head back out into the mall. \n\nOn your way to one of the exits, the clinking of change bouncing around your pocket distracts you. Perhaps you should treat yourself to something? You stop walking and take a look around. <<set $coins = 5>><<set $win = 0>><<set $poop = 0>><<set $chatted = 0>><<set $machine = 0>><<set $busRandom = 0>><<set $shownIntro = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Standing in a mall'>>\n

<<set $timeToGo = 30 - $timePassed>><<if $timeToGo gt 0>>You have <<print $timeToGo>> minutes left!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo eq 0>>You're about to be late!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo lt 0>>You're now <<print $timeToGo>> minutes late!<<endif>>\n\nRight, now for some face time! \n\n[[Give your teeth a good brushin'. (Two minutes)|Winning smile]]\n[[You're already funky fresh! Just apply a little touch up. (One minute)|Losing smile]]\n

You pop open the bottle of poison and pour some in his drink. Hopefully not enough that he will detect it, but still a sufficient amount to have an effect.<<set $poisoned = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Returns'>>\n

<html><center><i>In the near future, the world will be changed by a machine that predicts how a person will die with 100% accuracy... but not clarity.</p>Would knowing your demise change the way you lived your life? </i></center></p></html><<set $lookingUpPlayed = 0>><<set $oldAgePlayed = 0>><<set $joviPlayed = 0>><<set $lookingUp = 0>><<set $oldAge = 0>><<set $jovi = 0>><<set $firstDeathGiven = 0>><<set $shownIntro = 0>><<display 'The beginning'>>

<<if $manWait eq 3>><<display 'One on one'>><<endif>><<set $returnVar = 0>><<set $inBedroom = 0>><<if $manWait eq 0>>John returns from outside. He shakes off the snow gathered on him and turns on the kettle. He turns back around to look at you.\n\n"They said they'll be ‘ere in about fifteen minutes, so just sit tight," he says moments before the water stops boiling. He gets out two mugs and places a tea bag in each. He places one on the table and hands the other to you.\n\n"I'll be back in a minute." He goes into the bedroom and closes the door behind him.<html></br></html><<endif>><<if $manWait eq 1>>You hear John rummaging around in the next room.<html></br></html><<endif>><<if $manWait eq 2>>You hear a few things fall to the floor in the next room, followed by John grumbling, "Where the hell are they?"<html></br></html><<endif>><<if $manWait lt 3>><<set $manWait = $manWait + 1>>\n[[Wait.|Waiting in the kitchen]]\n[[Drink tea.|Drink tea]]\n<<if $getPoison eq 1 AND $poisoned eq 0>>[[Poison his drink.|Poison]]<<endif>><<endif>>\n\n

You turn around and look at the two sliding doors leading to the outside world.\n\n[[You decide to leave.|Leave]]\n[[You decide to stay and turn back around.|Standing in a mall]]\n

You enter the meeting room with a combination of urgency and nonchalance, a fusion that would be entirely impossible under any other circumstances. Your boss, David, stands at the other end of the room. He sends enough daggers your way to supply an assassins' guild for life.\n\nYou sit at the table with your co-workers and try to pay attention to the meeting.<<set $meeting = 1>>\n\n[[Look at company logo.|Logo]]\n[[Look at your co-workers.|Co-workers]]\n[[Look at David.|David]]\n

"I'm a lover, not a fighter!" the pooch proudly proclaims, with a hint of indignation. "I wouldn't even know what to do with a gun if I found one."<<if $waitForRach eq 3>><html></p></html>Both you and Bon Jovi become distracted by Rachel bounding down the stairs with her usual energy.<<endif>><<set $saidGun = 1>>\n\n<<if $waitForReach neq 3>><<if $saidCrazy eq 0>><html></br></html>[["I must be going crazy."|Crazy]]<<endif>><<if $saidSing eq 0>><html></br></html>[["Care to sing one of your classics?"|Sing a song]]<<endif>><<if $saidExcused eq 0>><html></br></html>[["Excuse me."|Excused]]<<endif>>\n[["Shoo."|Shoo]]<<set $waitForRach = $waitForRach + 1>><<endif>><<set $waitForRach = $waitForRach + 1>><<endif>>\n

You scream and jump and make one hell of a spectacle of yourself.\n\nAstonishingly, it seems to have paid off. The bus comes to a halt at the end of the street, allowing you to catch up and climb aboard. You sit impatiently, watching various buildings go by until it reaches your stop. You hop out and enter the building.\n\n<<display 'Something foyer'>>\n

<<set $checkedCupboard = 1>>You rummage through the cupboard under the sink and find what one would expect to find there. A scrubbing brush, a few dirty rags, and so on. <<if $getPoison eq 0>>Then you see a bottle of drain cleaner with a very big poison warning on it.<<set $seePoison = 1>><<endif>>\n\n[[Return your attention to the kitchen.|Kitchen]]\n<<if $getPoison eq 0>>[[Take poison.|Snatched]]<html></br></html><<endif>>\n

Your attempt to dive under Sarah's desk fails quite spectacularly, resulting in you smashing your noggin on the edge. You stand up and rest a palm on your throbbing skull.\n\n"Sorry, Sarah."\n\n"It's fine," she replies, trying to contain her laughter as she sits at her desk. "Just get to the meeting."\n\n<<display 'Meeting'>>

Ah, sweet relief! You take care of business then march into the appointed room to take care of another kind of business.\n<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 2>><<set $didPee = 1>>\n<<display 'Showtime!'>>\n

You opt out of a full shower, and instead settle for a quick rinse around the essential areas. Deodorant takes care of the rest. Or rather, you hope it will.<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 4>><<set $showered = 0>>\n\n<<display 'Teeth'>>\n

<<if $waitingInCarTimer eq 7>><<display 'Footloose'>><<else>><<if $phone eq 0>>Much to your lack of surprise, it appears that the combination of location and weather is getting in the way of phone reception.\n\nYou consider playing a round of Irate Fowls but decide it's probably best to conserve battery power.<<endif>><<if $phone eq 1>>You check your phone again to see if the reception situation has changed. \n\nIt hasn't.<<endif>>\n\n[[Wait.|Wait]]\n[[Try starting the car.|Ignition]]\n[[Go outside.|Outside]]<<set $phone = 1>><<endif>><<set $waitingInCarTimer = $waitingInCarTimer + 1>><<endif>>\n

You plump yourself on one of the barstools and give yourself a spin.\n\nYou now feel slightly nauseous.\n\n<<display 'The meeting'>>

<<if $win eq 0>>You wander over to the UFO catcher and peek at what's trapped behind the glass. There doesn't seem to be anything too excit... holy hell! There's a Wee Rex Adorable Plush in there! It looks delightfully cuddly in all its green glory.<<endif>><<if $win eq 1>>You've already won that delightful dinosaur! There's nothing else of interest in the UFO catcher.<<endif>><<if $coins eq 0 and $win eq 0>><html></p></html>Sadly, you have no change left to try to win the dazzling dinosaur.<<endif>>\n<<if $coins gt 0 and $win eq 0>><html></br></html>[[Jam in a coin and try to win that baby!|Play to win]]<<endif>>\n[[Return your eyes to the mall.|Standing in a mall]]\n

A Pie Floater. An inverted meat pie floating in mushy pea soup, drenched with tomato sauce. These are traditionally sold in vans on the streets of Australian cities, recommended to be eaten whilst standing, and also very, very drunk.\n<<if $coins lt 4>><html></br></html>Tragically (or perhaps luckily), you're not carrying enough money to experience this culinary curiosity.<<endif>>\n<<if $coins eq 4 OR $coins gt 4>>[[Buy one for four dollars.|Eating a floater]]<<endif>>\n[[See what else is on offer.|Menu]]\n

<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 2>>You sprint after the bus and... <<if $timePassed lte 25>>catch up with it! You hop on, and it eventually drops you outside the office.\n\n<<display 'Something foyer'>><<else>>fail to catch up with it!\n\nYou could dash down to a main street while looking up the number of a taxi company in your phone, and arrange for someone to drive you to the building. Or just forget about it and move on with your life.\n\n<<set $timeToGo = 30 - $timePassed>><<if $timeToGo gt 0>>You have <<print $timeToGo>> minutes left!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo eq 0>>You're about to be late!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo lt 0>>You're now <<print $timeToGo>> minutes late!<<endif>>\n\n[[Call a cab. (One minute)|Hell cab]]\n[[Call it quits.|Gone home]]\n<<endif>>\n

<<set $timeToGo = 30 - $timePassed>><<if $timeToGo gt 0>>You have <<print $timeToGo>> minutes left!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo eq 0>>You're about to be late!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo lt 0>>You're now <<print $timeToGo>> minutes late!<<endif>>\n\nAs your feet land on the pavement outside, a terrifying realisation occurs: you forgot to eat anything! You glance down the street and see a Tufo Dog stand.\n\n[[Better than being starving! (Two to three minutes)|Eat eat eat]]\n[[Nothing gonna stop my stride! I gotta keep on moving! (One minute)|That song was terrible]]\n

"He's a cutie, isn't he?" she says as she leans down and pets Bon Jovi. "I'm dogsitting him for my friend. She was supposed to come with us tonight." A sudden realisation hits her. "Oh, my friends bailed," she reveals. "But it's okay, we'll either make new friends there or have fun on our own!"\n\n"Time to go!" Rachel announces as she grabs your arm and pulls you outside, where the two of you get in your car.\n\n"You like karaoke, right?" she asks, as you begin to drive to the address she gave you. \n\n[["Oh my Lordy wordy, yes."|Sure do]]\n[["Erm, not really."|Not at all]]\n

The card reads "POISONED."<<set $readDeath = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Bedroom'>>\n

<<set $toldRachel = 1>>Her eyes widen as you reveal your fate to her. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" she exclaims. "This is the worst place for you to be! Almost all of Bon Jovi's songs are up for singing here! Come on, we'll go somewhere else."\n\nShe grabs your arm and pulls you towards the exit.\n\nAs you walk by the standee, you both stop in your tracks as a familiar melody flows through the speakers, and turn to the stage to see a middle-aged businessman begin to belt out the most terrifying words you could ever hear.\n\n"Shot... through the heart... it's all part... of the game that we call love!"\n\n<<display 'Not over until the chiselled rocker sings'>>\n

You pick a sofa from the wide selection and plump yourself down on it. It feels like real dead cow.\n\n<<display 'The meeting'>>\n

Are you happy? Is this what you want to do? If you didn't avoid that sign, would you be satisfied with how your life had turned out?\n\nSure, you're good at what you do and it pays well<<if $fired eq 1>> (when you're not unemployed, that is)<<endif>>, but is that all you want from work?\n\nIf not, maybe it's time for a change.<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 2>><<set $reflected = 1>>\n\n[[Screw it. I'm going to find a new life right now. It's not going to be easy, but it's what I want.|Gone home]]\n[[Maybe one day. But I'm satisfied right now, and I have bills to pay. Keep on going. (One minute)|Run, run]]\n

"How the hell was I supposed to know that would happen?" she protests. "I said I was sorry!" She angrily stares out the window. "Don't you think I feel awful enough as it is?"\n\n<<display 'A message'>>\n

You carefully consume the tofu dog, ensuring nothing drips onto you, and so that you can savour that sweet, sweet tastelessness.<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 3>><<set $cleanEat = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Busted'>>

<<if $poisoned eq 1>><<set $poisonCount = $poisonCount + 1>><<endif>><<set $waitingForHelp = $waitingForHelp + 1>><<if $waitingForHelp neq 5>><<if $poisonCount neq 4>>[[Wait.|Killing time]]\n[[Drink tea.|Drink up]]<<if $askLooking eq 0>><html></br></html>[[Ask what he was looking for.|Looking]]<<endif>><<if $sarah eq 0>><html></br></html>[[Ask about the blood stains.|Blood]]<<endif>><<if $sarah eq 1>><html></br></html>[[Ask about Sarah.|Sarah]]<<endif>><<if $sarah eq 2>><html></br></html>[[Ask more about Sarah.|Life after Sarah]]<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<if $poisonCount eq 4>><<display 'What a rotten way to die'>><<endif>><<if $waitingForHelp eq 5>>\n\n<<display 'Rescue'>><<endif>>\n

Rachel hops into the passenger seat and immediately notices the gun. "What the hell is that?" she asks, her voice laced with fear. Before you can even explain, she gets out of the car. "Stay the hell away from me!" she blurts as she disappears into the crowd emerging from the bar.\n\nYou drive away from the bar, and spend yet another night at home and alone.\n\nYour greatest fear is no longer Bon Jovi; it's now the amount of awkwardness you'll have to deal with at work on Monday.\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|Bar]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]\n

You feel someone grab your arm, and look over to see that it's Rachel. "Let's get out of here," she says while motioning towards the exit.\n\nYou charge out of the bar and leap back into your car, adrenaline still pumping through your veins. As you slam the door, the glove box pops open and reveals your gun.\n\n[[Grab it and hide it in your jacket before Rachel can see it.|See no evil]]\n[[Leave it.|Nothing to hide]]\n

Rachel hops into the passenger seat and buckles up. \n\nRachel is the first to break the brief silence as you drive back to her villa. "That was crazy," she begins. "I'm so sorry."\n\n[["You couldn't have known that would happen."|Couldn't have known]]\n[["You could have gotten me killed!"|Gotten me killed]]\n

<<set $timeToGo = 30 - $timePassed>><<if $timeToGo gt 0>>You have <<print $timeToGo>> minutes left!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo eq 0>>You're about to be late!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo lt 0>>You're now <<print $timeToGo>> minutes late!<<endif>>\n\n<<if $timePassed lte 10>>Suddenly, a bus rockets past with a "Things are looking up!" poster plastered on its side. Normally this would make you grimace, but instead you're more concerned by the fact that it's the bus you're supposed to be catching.<<endif>><<if $timePassed gt 10>>You look down the street and notice a bus with a "Things are looking up!" poster plastered on its side. Normally this would make you grimace, but instead you're more concerned by the fact that it's the bus you're supposed to be catching.<<endif>>\n\n[[Try to catch up! (One minute)|Gotta go fast!]]\n[[Try to gain the driver's attention with a mighty yell. There is one in a fifty chance it will work, but it would take you straight to the office! (Two minutes if failed)|Yell]]\n

You ignore the over-excited ball of fluff, despite his adorable protests. After all, he's still named Bon Jovi.\n\nPerhaps things could have gone very, very bad tonight if you let your fear take control of you, but surely it's also partly responsible for you standing here, alive.\n\nYou're still going to live life. You'll just not spend any time of it at a Bon Jovi concert. <<if $keptGun eq 1>>And try to never jump the gun.<<endif>>\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|Outside the karaoke bar]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]\n

<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 2>>You look up, and see a large billboard rapidly approaching the ground. This is alarming as it's heading for the area you're currently occupying. You quickly dive out of the way, the sign just barely nicking your foot.\n\nYou get back up and look at the billboard. "Things are looking up!" it happily proclaims. \n\nYou really hate that slogan.\n\n<<set $timeToGo = 30 - $timePassed>><<if $timeToGo gt 0>>You have <<print $timeToGo>> minutes left after this debacle!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo eq 0>>You're about to be late!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo lt 0>>You're now <<print $timeToGo>> minutes late!<<endif>>\n\n[[Take a moment to reflect on your life after this near-death experience. (Two minutes)|Reflection]]\n[[There's still a bus to catch! Keep on running! (One minute)|Run, run]]\n

You wait.\n\n<<display 'Returns'>>

<<display 'Look out below'>>

It's a traditional oil painting of white horse with a golden mane. It looks like the work of an amateur.<<set $checkedPainting = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Bedroom'>>\n

She shrugs, saying "Suit yourself." She finishes off her sandwich and walks away, disappearing into the crowd.<<set $chatted = 1>>\n\n[[Return your eyes to the mall.|Standing in a mall]]

You stride into the foyer, only for your swagger to stagger when you suddenly realise that you need to pee.\n\n<<set $timeToGo = 30 - $timePassed>><<if $timeToGo gt 0>>You have <<print $timeToGo>> minutes left!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo eq 0>>You're about to be late!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo lt 0>>You're now <<print $timeToGo>> minutes late!<<endif>>\n\n[[When you gotta go, you gotta go! (Two minutes)|Pee freely]]\n[[No Time! Hold it in and get to the interview! (Zero minutes)|No pee for me!]]\n

"Oh, I hope not," Bon Jovi says with an expression of mild concern. "Insanity isn't nearly as glamorous as the movies portray it. In fact, it's usually quite tragic for all involved."<<if $waitForRach eq 3>><html></p></html>Before you have time to finish this enlightening conversation, Rachel bounds down the stairs with her usual energy.<<endif>><<set $saidCrazy = 1>>\n\n<<if $waitForReach neq 3>>[["How do you know that?"|Still crazy]]<<if $saidGun eq 0>><html></br></html>[["You don't happen to know how to use a gun, do you?"|Doggy with a gun]]<<endif>><<if $saidSing eq 0>><html></br></html>[["Care to sing one of your classics?"|Sing a song]]<<endif>><<if $saidExcused eq 0>><html></br></html>[["Excuse me."|Excused]]<<endif>>\n[["Shoo."|Shoo]]<<set $waitForRach = $waitForRach + 1>><<endif>>\n\n

<<if $lookCloth eq 0>>You look down at the table, which has a thin, white cloth draped over it. You think you can see something on the table underneath it.<<endif>><<if $lookCloth eq 1>>You look down at the table, which has a thin, white cloth draped over it, hiding the blood stains underneath.<<endif>>\n\n[[Look under the cloth.|Beneath]]\n[[Turn your attention back to the kitchen.|Kitchen]]\n

It does, however, stop at a red light further ahead.\n\n<<set $timeToGo = 30 - $timePassed>><<if $timeToGo gt 0>>You have <<print $timeToGo>> minutes left!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo eq 0>>You're about to be late!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo lt 0>>You're now <<print $timeToGo>> minutes late!<<endif>>\n\n[[Sprint down the street and try to catch up with it at the light. (Two minutes)|Keep running]]\n[[You know the route! If you cut down the alley ahead, you can cut the bus off at the next street. Unfortunately, there is a fifty-fifty chance a truck will be loading and blocking the path. (Gain two minutes on success. Lose three on failure)|Cut off]]\n

You slam on the breaks, sending your car spinning off the icy roads and straight into a mound of snow with a mighty "VOOMPF!"\n\nLuckily, your head safely hits the quickly inflated airbag and no part of you seems to be seriously injured. Except for maybe your pride.\n\n<<display 'Inside car'>>

David continues his spiel. "My first move as the CEO was to come up with an incredibly clever slogan for Albatross Airway's new marketing campaign. And here it is..."\n\nHe pulls a sheet from over a display, revealing a large piece of cardboard baring the words "Things are looking up!"\n\nYour eye twitches involuntarily.\n\n"It has a double meaning," David begins, his voice laced with excitement. "Not only is it informing our customers that the recession is over and that it's safe to spend money on travelling again, but to also look to our planes in the sky as an escape!" He strikes what he must believe to be a heroic pose. "Quite clever, I'm sure you'll agree."\n\nThe room bursts into applause and cheers.\n\n[[Applause with the crowd.|Continue meeting]]\n[[Tap your finger on the desk nervously.|Continue meeting]]\n[[Do nothing.|Continue meeting]]<<set $meeting = 3>>\n

"I went crazy once," he admits with a hint of shame. "I believed I was a Pomeranian."<<if $waitForRach eq 3>><html></p></html>Before you have time to finish this enlightening conversation, Rachel bounds down the stairs with her usual energy.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $waitForReach neq 3>>[["But you are a Pomeranian!"|The hard truth]]<<if $saidGun eq 0>><html></br></html>[["You don't happen to know how to use a gun, do you?"|Doggy with a gun]]<<endif>><<if $saidSing eq 0>><html></br></html>[["Care to sing one of your classics?"|Sing a song]]<<endif>><<if $saidExcused eq 0>><html></br></html>[["Excuse me."|Excused]]<<endif>>\n[["Shoo."|Shoo]]<<set $waitForRach = $waitForRach + 1>><<endif>>\n

You duck to the ground and hide behind a table! You then look over to Jon Bon Jovi and realise it's only a cardboard standee.\n\nRachel laughs. "What are you doing? You haven't even had anything to drink yet!"\n\n[[Tell her about your death.|Reveal to Rachel]]\n[[Apologise and sit down at a table with her.|Sit on it]]\n

time-travel mishap, you see yourself die and try to stop it but destory universe, let it happen or go back and set it up to kill yourself. your friend sends you to try and save him, turns out he killed you? you go back in time and kill him before he kills you, send you in a loop because of paradox\n\nuse laser weapon in time travle story to avoid over using guns\n\nyou can refuse to fix the paradox and let the universe cease to exists, or kill guy at wrong time which sends everything backwards since it couldnt have happened, or you can choose to kill yourself\n\ndon't worry, i'm happy. we had a really good run, you and I.\nstraight to the point. you remind me of me when i was your age.\n\nhad did

"Great! Because that's exactly where we're going." A huge smile conquers her face. "It's one of my most favourite places in the world."\n\n<<display 'Outside the karaoke bar'>>\n

You scream and jump and make one hell of a spectacle of yourself.\n\nUnsurprisingly, it doesn't pay off. The bus continues on its merry way despite your self-humiliation.<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 2>>\n\n<<display 'Streets'>>\n

"Yes, Sir," you reply. David nods. "Good to know. Now, go do some work."\n\n<<display 'Later'>>

You sit silently at the table with your accidental companion. A strong wind beats against the walls outside.\n\n<<display 'Time to talk'>>

<html><center><h1>SO HOW DID YOU DO?</h1></html><<set $interviewScore = 0>>\n<<if $showered eq 1>>You showered, and blessed the room with a fruity aroma.<<set $interviewScore = $interviewScore + 1>><<else>>You didn't shower, and cursed the room with a pungent funk.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $brushedTeeth eq 1>>You brushed your teeth, and showed off your winning smile.<<set $interviewScore = $interviewScore + 1>><<else>>You didn't brush your teeth, and made the panel wince every time you smiled.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $dressedWell eq 1>>You dressed to impress, and impress you did.<<set $interviewScore = $interviewScore + 1>><<else>>The panel looked at your messy outfit with disapproving eyes.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $ateFood eq 1>>You ate some food and wasn't distracted by hunger.<<set $interviewScore = $interviewScore + 1>><<else>>You didn't eat food, and kept getting distracted by a rumbling stomach.<<endif>><<if $ateFood eq 1>><<if $cleanEat eq 1>><html></br></html><html></br></html>You took care while eating, making sure not to leave any unsightly stains for the panel to see.<<set $interviewScore = $interviewScore + 1>><<else>><html></br></html><html></br></html>You didn't take care while eating, and can't help but wonder if the panel noticed the chutney stain.<<endif>><<endif>>\n\n<<if $reflected eq 1>>You took time to reflect after your near-death experience, leaving you confident.<<set $interviewScore = $interviewScore + 1>><<else>>You didn't pause for reflection after your near-death experience, leaving you noticeably shaken.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $didPee eq 1>>You used the toilet, forbidding your bladder from distracting you.<<set $interviewScore = $interviewScore + 1>><<else>>You held your pee the entire time, causing you to squirm in your seat.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $timePassed lte 30>>You weren't late! Punctuality is always impressive.<<set $interviewScore = $interviewScore + 1>><<endif>><<if $timePassed gt 30>>You were late for the important date!<<endif>>\n\n<<if $interviewScore gte 5>><<if $fired eq 0>>Despite the hiccups, you manage to impress the panel and return to your office with a signed contract. Congratulations!<<endif>><<if $fired eq 1>> Despite the hiccups, the interview ended with you getting offered a job. Congratulations!<<endif>><<else>><<if $fired eq 0>>All these hiccups lead to one grand disaster. You leave the office without a signed contract, and soon you will be without a career. <<endif>><<if $fired eq 1>> All these hiccups lead to one grand disaster. You leave the office with no job and with no idea of what you'll do now. <<endif>><<endif>>\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></center></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|Later]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]<<set $meeting = 0>><<set $timePassed = 0>>\n

It's like there's a party in your mouth and everyone's throwing up!\n\n<<set $coins = $coins - 5>>\n\n[[Return your eyes to the mall.|Standing in a mall]]\n

<<set $timeToGo = 30 - $timePassed>><<if $timeToGo gt 0>>You have <<print $timeToGo>> minutes left!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo eq 0>>You're about to be late!<<endif>><<if $timeToGo lt 0>>You're now <<print $timeToGo>> minutes late!<<endif>>\n\nNow to decide which garments you'll use to cover up your rude bits.\n\n[[Look for and iron your best outfit. (Five minutes)|Dress to impress]]\n[[Throw on the first thing you find on the floor. (Three minutes)|Floordrobe]]\n

"I swore I had some hot water bottles in there," he answers. "Would 'ave been handy." He shrugs. "I s'pose you'll have to make do with tea."<<set $askLooking = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Time to talk'>>\n

<<if $wentOut eq 0>>You bundle yourself up as much as you can and step out of the car. As suspected, it is cold. Very cold. Snow storms around you.<<endif>><<if $wentOut eq 1>>You head back out into the freezing cold.<<endif>><<set $wentOut = 1>>\n\n[[Get back in the car.|Inside car]]\n[[Go in search of help.|Explore]]\n

"Excuse me," you say with the utmost politeness as you gently carve your way through the congregation of co-workers.\n\n"Good morning, Sarah," you say, while giving her a nod as she sits at her desk. "Good morning," she replies. "The meeting has already started. You better get a move on if you don't want David to bite your head off."\n\nYou ponder this thought and increase your pace after deciding that you like your head where it is, perched perfectly atop your neck.\n\n<<display 'Meeting'>>

"Oh," she says as the smile leaves her face. "Well, then you can get drunk while you listen to me sing! But if you get bored we'll go somewhere else." A smile returns. "We'll have fun one way or another."\n\n<<display 'Outside the karaoke bar'>>\n

Not only do you give your teeth a good brushing, you also give your tongue a rub down, because that's what commercials say you have to do these days.<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 2>><<set $brushedTeeth = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Dressing time'>>

You leap to your feet, adrenaline helping you ignore the pain surging through every inch of your body. You slam your entire weight as hard as you can against your potential assassin, knocking him backwards and prompting him to drop the axe, which falls blade first into the wooden planks of the floor with a thunk.\n\n"What the hell are you doing here?" You look at the source of the voice and get your first clear look at the axe wielder, and see that it's an elderly man, maybe in his early 70s, though looking surprisingly fit for his apparent age. He's standing behind a chair, both hands gripped tightly on the back as if he's prepared to use it as a weapon.\n\n[[Explain your situation.|Explain]]\n[[Ask why the hell he had an axe.|Axe to grind]]\n

"This isn't a dog and pony show!" He pauses, perhaps for dramatic effect, and then bursts into song and dance. You recognise the tune as the early 90s hit, I'll Sleep When I'm Dead.\n\nHe yawns and lies down on the floor after his energetic performance. "Actually, I'm getting pretty sleepy now."<<if $waitForRach eq 3>><html></p></html>Both you and Bon Jovi become distracted by Rachel bounding down the stairs with her usual energy.<<endif>><<set $saidSing = 1>>\n\n<<if $waitForReach neq 3>><<if $saidCrazy eq 0>><html></br></html>[["I must be going crazy."|Crazy]]<<endif>><<if $saidGun eq 0>><html></br></html>[["You don't happen to know how to use a gun, do you?"|Doggy with a gun]]<<endif>><<if $saidExcused eq 0>><html></br></html>[["Excuse me."|Excused]]<<endif>>\n[["Shoo."|Shoo]]<<set $waitForRach = $waitForRach + 1>><<endif>>\n

She sighs. "I'm really not that crazy. I mean, maybe when I was a bored teen with too much money. But now I just feel worn out." She stares at the sand.\n\n"This was the first time I've been out in a while." She looks over to you. "Maybe I felt I had to take you there because of my reputation. I mean, I still love the place and had so many good times there, but..." she trails off and looks out towards the ocean. "I've realised that living isn't all about the exciting times, I guess."\n\n"I'm going to go let Bonny have a run," she eventually says. <<if $toldRachel = 1>>You better be careful around him," she adds with a wry grin. <<endif>>"We'll be right back."\n\n<<display 'The choice'>>\n

The poster is advertising the upcoming tour of stand-up comedian Phil Bison, also known as the Cancer Comic.\n\nBefore the Machine hit, jokes about fatal illnesses were considered "edgy" and politically incorrect, often leading to controversy. Now they're as common as knock, knock jokes.\n\nOf course, modern comedians only get away with it because of their slips. As his stage name suggests, Bison received one of the more straight forward machine results: CANCER. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what themes he explores with his humour.\n\nSome are of the opinion that it's healthy for people to laugh at their own tragedies, believing it's a valuable coping mechanism. Others accuse it of being exploitive.\n\nIt doesn't help that there was once a comedian who "faked his own death," claiming he was going to die from an HIV infection. At the height of his fame, he was constantly surrounded by people, something he seemed to treasure. When it was discovered that he lied about his death, his career was instantly destroyed.\n\nHis slip actually said ISOLATION.\n\n[[Return your eyes to the mall.|Standing in a mall]]\n

Fuck nature! What has it ever done for you? You press your foot down on the accelerator and slam into the deer with a great thump.\n\nIf deer could laugh, it would have had the last one. The impact sends your car spinning off the icy roads and straight into a mound of snow with a mighty "VOOMPF!"\n\nLuckily, your head safely hits the quickly inflated airbag and no part of you seems to be seriously injured. Except for maybe your pride.\n\n<<display 'Inside car'>>\n

The restaurant is a Deady's, a fast food chain that quickly cropped up across the world after the Machine became an international pop sensation.\n\nTheir slogan is "You Only Live Once!" which, when translated from marketing speak and into English, basically means "You know how you're going to die, so until then you may as well enjoy yourself by clogging your arteries with as much of our disgustingly/deliciously unhealthy food as possible."\n\nPeople who pulled FOOD POISONING from the Machine receive a loyalty card that gives them a permanent 5% discount. Well, after they sign a waiver, that is.\n\n<<display 'Menu'>>\n

You grab Jovi and hold him out in front of you at arm's length. The man stares at it with menace in his eyes, snarling "You." \n\nHe swings at the standee, knocking the head clean off Jon Bon Jovi's shoulders, moments before a group of patrons rush to restrain the chair man.\n\n<<display 'Outta here'>>\n

You examine the framed photographs hanging on the wall.\n\nThe first is of a middle-aged blonde woman, smiling as she rests a hand on the side of a hazel horse.\n\nThe second appears to be a photo of John, albeit when he was a couple decades younger, proudly holding a large fish.<<set $checkedPhotos = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Kitchen'>>\n\n

"It means nothing!" David answers, almost bringing the ceiling down due to him neglecting his inside voice. "Do you think I would have become the person I am today if I let my death hold me back? No!" He slams his hand on the table to prove just how serious he is.\n\n"I ignored it and built this company out of nothing but my blood, sweat, tears, and a large inheritance from my grandparents! You're card is nothing but a coincidence. You'll have to deal with it."\n\n[["No. I quit."|Quit]]\n[[Leave the room and go to your desk.|Leave meeting]]\n

You carefully take apart the gun, throw a couple pieces into the ocean, and store the rest about your person to dump elsewhere.<<set $keptGun = 0>>\n\n<<display 'Here comes Jovi'>>\n

He looks down at the table. "I s'pose I didn't do a great job hiding the stains." He lifts up the cloth and peeks under it for a moment. "I used to fish a lot. One day I came home and there were too many dishes on the sink, so I just did the filletin' on the table. Turned out it stained more than I thought it would."\n\n"Sarah really let me have it that night." A grin cracks across his face.\n\n<<set $sarah = 1>><<display 'Time to talk'>>\n

Rachel waves goodbye as you begin the long drive home. After a few minutes, you turn the radio on to break the silence.\n\n"Shot... through the heart... it's all part... of the game that we call love!"\n\n<html><center><h1>THE END</h1></html>\n\n[[What if you had done things differently?|Outside the karaoke bar]]\n[[What if you had been bestowed a different fate?|The beginning]]\n

She raises an eyebrow at you. "You know, watching how people react to their tickets and trying to guess their deaths." She begins to munch on a turkey sandwich. "It's how I kill time on my lunch break." \n\n<<display 'Another'>>

<<set $oldAge = 1>><<set $oldAgePlayed = 1>><<set $phone = 0>><<set $carWait = 0>><<set $car = 0>><<set $ignition = 0>><<set $wentOut = 0>><<set $lost = 0>><<set $axeAsk = 0>><<set $seePoison = 0>><<set $getPoison = 0>><<set $poisonCount = 0>><<set $poisoned = 0>><<set $inBedroom = 0>><<set $manWait = 0>><<set $lookCloth = 0>><<set $lookedKitchen = 0>><<set $getBullets = 0>><<set $waitingForHelp = 0>><<set $sarah = 0>><<set $askLooking = 0>><<set $returnVar = 0>><<set $checkedDrawers = 0>><<set $checkedCupboard = 0>><<set $checkedPantry = 0>><<set $checkedPhotos = 0>><<set $lookCloth = 0>><<set $checkUp = 0>><<set $checkOutside = 0>><<set $checkAxe = 0>><<set $checkedBedPhoto = 0>><<set $checkedCloset = 0>><<set $readDeath = 0>><<set $checkedPainting = 0>><<set $checkedWigs = 0>><<set $brunette = 0>><<set $blonde = 0>><<set $bePatient = 0>><<set $checkedKettle = 0>><<display 'Kitchen'>>

She shrugs. "It's fun watching how people react. To see what it says about them and the lives they've lived, and the life they'll live from that point. It gets me to look back at my own life, too. To reflect or whatever." She chews her sandwich some more. <<if $poop eq 1>>"Also, sometimes I meet people who think explosive diarrhoea can be a cause of death."<<endif>>\n\n[["What did your slip say?"|Her]]\n

An A.B. A bed of thick fries, with a load of marinated lamb dumped on top, which is then smothered with chilli sauce and cheese.\n<<if $coins lt 5>><html></br></html>Tragically (or perhaps luckily), you're not carrying enough money to experience this culinary curiosity.<<endif>>\n<<if $coins eq 5 OR $coins gt 5>>[[Buy one for five dollars.|Eating an A.B.]]<<endif>>\n[[See what else is on offer.|Menu]]\n

<<if $lost eq 0>>You head into what you believe is the right direction, but really you have no idea of knowing. \n\nIf you were anyone else, you may be a little worried right about now. But not you. You know how you're going to die, and it's not hypothermia. Hell, you could be naked right now and still survive. Maybe... maybe you SHOULD get naked?\n\nNo. No, that is not a good idea.\n\n[[Go east.|Lost]]\n[[Go west.|Lost]]\n[[Go north.|Lost]]\n[[Go south.|Lost]]<<endif>><<if $lost eq 1>>You trudge through the snow some more, likely just getting yourself more lost than before.\n\nYou feel yourself constantly shivering and becoming a little drowsy. \n\nNothing to worry about.\n\n[[Go east.|Lost]]\n[[Go west.|Lost]]\n[[Go north.|Lost]]\n[[Go south.|Lost]]<<endif>><<if $lost eq 2>>You stumble over your next few steps and feel your breathing start to slow. It may be time to admit that you should be worried.\n\nBut the Machine is never wrong! It said old age!\n\n[[Stumble this way.|Lost]]\n[[Stumble that way.|Lost]]<<endif>><<if $lost eq 3>>As you continue to make your way through the snow, a growing hatred of the Machine powers you on.\n\n[[Stagger this way.|Lost]]\n[[Stagger that way.|Lost]]<<endif>><<if $lost eq 4>>You push forward, fighting the cold, your body on the verge of completely shutting down.\n\nThen, in the distance, you see a light.\n\n[[Go towards the light.|There's a light]]<<endif>><<set $lost = $lost + 1>>\n

\n<html><h1><center>ONE MONTH LATER</p></h2></center></html>\n\nYou're startled awake by the sounds of car horns outside. You yawn and reach over to your beside table to check the time<<if $win eq 1>>, accidentally knocking your Wee Rex Adorable Plush to the floor in the process<<endif>>.\n\nCRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!\n\nYou overslept again! Really, you should buy an alarm clock that functions correctly, but the pizza stains on this one hold sentimental value. \n\nNow you only have thirty minutes <<if $fired eq 0>>to meet the potential new clients you've been sent to woo. If you screw this up, your career at Albatross Airways is out the window like... an albatross flying out a window.<<endif>><<if $fired eq 1>>to get to your job interview and knock the socks off the Ruby Blue Airways head honchos!<<endif>>\n\nTime to get ready in record time, while still being half-presentable!\n\n[[Have a brisk, yet thorough shower. (Seven minutes)|So clean]]\n[[Cleanliness is overrated! Settle for a quick rinse. (Four minutes)|Rank]]<<set $timePassed = 0>><<set $timeToGo = 30>><<set $reflected = 0>>\n

No time for such trivial things as bodily functions! You strut into the appointed room.\n<<display 'Showtime!'>>\n

You search through the drawers. They're mostly empty aside from a few blunt utensils. Pointless discoveries.<<set $checkedDrawers = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Kitchen'>>\n

You remember the gun hidden in your pants, but it seems it wasn't hidden enough. The crazed man sees it under your shirt and grabs it before you can stop him.\n\nHe waves it wildly in the air! "Turn the music off!" he screams. "I'm not ready yet!"\n\n[[Use Bon Jovi as a shield!|Did you forget he's not real?]]\n[[Duck! DUCK!|Your goose is cooked!]]\n[[Try to wrestle the gun back off him!|Wrestle]]\n

You approach the Machine, which has the very charming street name of the Machine of Death.\n\nThe device has only been around for a few years, but it's already hard to imagine a world without it, as it completely reshaped it, creating a culture of death. Well, others feel it created a culture of life, despite it clearly ruining quite a few.\n<<if $machine eq 0>><html></br></html>Here's how it works: a person inserts a dollar and sticks their finger in the machine, which takes a blood sample. A little card is then spat out, which reveals the person's final fate.\n\nOf course, it's not that simple. The Machine is always 100% accurate, but the cards are often obtuse and even misleading, as with the tragic person who received PEANUTS and spent years avoiding the faux nut, only to have a box full of Snoopy comics fall on top of and kill them. \n\nEvents like this have led some to believe that the Machine has a sense of humour.<html></br></html><<endif>>\nYou never did get yourself tested. <<if $coins eq 0>>And it looks like you won't be doing it today, as you're out of change.<<endif>>\n<<if $coins gt 0>><html></br></html>Maybe today is the day. \n\n[[Insert a coin.|Death]]<<endif>>\n[[Stand back and watch people use the Machine.|Watch]]\n[[A slip of paper is stuck to the side of the Machine. Examine it.|A slip of paper]]\n[[Return your eyes to the mall.|Standing in a mall]]<<set $machine = 1>>\n

You look at your co-workers. Their wide, emotionless eyes are fixated on David, each of their faces infected with a hideous grin stretching across them.\n\nWill you one day become like them?\n\n<<if $meeting eq 1>><<display 'Meeting 1'>><<endif>><<if $meeting eq 2>><<display 'Meeting 2'>><<endif>><<if $meeting eq 1>><<set $meeting = 2>><<endif>>\n\n<<if $meeting lte 2>>[[Look at company logo.|Logo]]\n[[Look at David.|David]]<<endif>>

You look at the company logo hanging on the far wall. It states the company's name, Albatross Airways, in large blue letters. Above it is a picture depicting a giant albatross surfing a plane. Or perhaps it's a regular-sized albatross surfing a tiny plane?\n\n<<if $meeting eq 1>><<display 'Meeting 1'>><<endif>><<if $meeting eq 2>><<display 'Meeting 2'>><<endif>><<if $meeting eq 1>><<set $meeting = 2>><<endif>>\n\n<<if $meeting lte 2>>[[Look at your co-workers.|Co-workers]]\n[[Look at David.|David]]<<endif>>\n

You sip some of the hot tea.\n\n<<display 'Returns'>>

"It makes me feel normal," she admits. "Not that I'm as weird as everyone says. But people treat me differently because I have lots of money." She stares at the ground.\n\n"I don't mean to 'slum it,' and I know how damn lucky I am; that's why I try to volunteer a lot. But sometimes it feels like it stops me from living life how I want to."\n\n"Besides, I love to sing even if not everyone loves hearing me," she says with a laugh. "I'm going to go let Bonny have a run. <<if $toldRachel = 1>>You better be careful around him," she adds with a wry grin. <<endif>>"We'll be right back."\n\n<<display 'The choice'>>\n

The colour of this wig is that of a dark brunette, and is rough to touch. The hair is fairly short. Underneath the wig stand is a label that reads "Henry."<<set $brunette = 1>><<if $blonde eq 1>><<set $checkedWigs = 2>><<endif>>\n\n[[Examine the blonde wig.|Blonde]]\n[[Examine the rest of the bedroom.|Bedroom]]\n

"Poisoning, just like that damn Machine said. Accidental. I'm only consoled knowing it was painless and that she still ‘ad a long life."\n\nHe pauses. "I ‘aven't been out much since then. Been nice to talk to someone again. Maybe you're a sign from Sarah that I need to keep on livin' while I'm here."\n\n<<display 'Time to talk'>>\n

"Go fuck yourself," you mumble under the breath. "Hahaha! I would if I could!" replies David. "Also, you're fired. Don't let the door hit you on the way out, because I don't want ass prints on my door."<<set $fired = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Later'>>\n

You open the pantry door, switch on the light, and gaze at the contents within.\n\nIt's quite bare. Tubs of flour and sugar, a few boxed and canned goods, and sacks of vegetables on the floor.<<set $checkedPantry = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Kitchen'>>\n

"Take that last guy. He seemed pretty relieved when he looked at his ticket. I'm going to guess that he's been feeling a burning sensation when peeing lately." She giggles gleefully to herself.\n\nThe Machine is often used as a self-diagnosing tool. Instead of going to a doctor, people would just get a jab to see if they were suffering from anything serious. This practice was naturally met with much disapproval from medical professionals.\n\n"Check it out, here comes some more," she says as she chews on her sandwich.\n\nA group of teenagers approach the Machine with jovial spirits, egging one of their friends on to get jabbed, and then cheer deafeningly as he does so. He pulls out a slip and they all begin to laugh, the jabbed smiling as he mimes his own head exploding.\n\n"So," the deathspotter asks before taking another bite of her sandwich, "What do you think he got?"\n\n[["Suicide."|Suicide]]\n[["Explosive diarrhoea."|Diarrhoea]]\n[["I'm not interested."|Uninterested]]\n\n

She smiles, though a quizzical expression remains on her face.\n\n"Well, try to relax and enjoy yourself. I'm supposed to be the crazy one, remember?"\n\nAs you walk by the standee towards a table, you stop in your tracks as a familiar melody flows through the speakers. You turn to the stage to see a middle-aged businessman begin to belt out the most terrifying words you could ever here.\n\n"Shot... through the heart... it's all part... of the game that we call love!"\n\n<<display 'Not over until the chiselled rocker sings'>>\n

A middle-aged woman approaches the Machine and gets her finger jabbed. She hesitates before reading her slip, finally relenting and peering at the uppercase letters that will set her fate in stone. She begins to cry.\n\nAfter a brief moment of silence, the nameless deathspotter speaks. "Let's not guess that one. This can be a depressing hobby sometimes." She nibbles her turkey sandwich a little more and turns to you. "So, have you been jabbed?"\n\n[["None of your business."|Uninterested]]\n[["No."|Unjabbed]]\n[["Have you?"|You first]]\n

"Well, careful if you do it. It can change the way you live life. And usually not in a good way."\n\n[["Why do you deathspot?"|Why]]\n[["What did your slip say?"|Her]]\n

No time to lose! You cram the tofu dog in your mouth as you dash down the street, drops of mango chutney dripping over you. Goodness, you can't take yourself anywhere!<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 2>><<set $cleanEat = 0>>\n\n<<display 'Busted'>>

As you go for the door, you hear David calling your name. \n\n"Just one thing before you go," he begins. "If you're ever late again, I'll kick your ass so hard that you'll be able to build a pool in the footprint."\n\nIt's hard to tell if he's trying to be humourous or not.\n\n[["Yes, Sir."|Sir]]\n[["Go fuck yourself."|Fuck]]\n[["Are you saying I have a big butt?"|Butt]]\n

You find the least stain covered outfit among your floordrobe and slip it on. You have a quick whiff and decide it would be best to drown the garment in deodorant.<<set $timePassed = $timePassed + 3>><<set $dressedWell = 0>>\n\n<<display 'Rumbly tummy'>>\n

You consider going outside and risking the cold weather again despite your current state, but though the Machine has never been wrong before, you certainly don't want to be the first person to prove that it's not infallible.<<set $checkOutside = 1>>\n\n<<display 'Kitchen'>>