(set: $currentDay to 1) (set: $herVisited to false) (set: $himVisited to false) (set: $themVisited to false) (set: $waterQuest to false) (set: $fruitQuest to false) (set: $letterQuest to false) (set: $hasWater to false) (set: $hasFruit to false) (set: $hasLetter to false)
gray light through the high slit of a window
morning again, probably
(seq-link: "laughter", "sobbing", "music", "screaming", "chatter", "silence") from another room
|text>[you are] (live: 2.2s)[(replace: ?text)[] (stop:)](after: 2.3s)[[[this is|Title]]](if: $currentDay is 4)[This place is all wrong
Gray light hurts thirst for it burn for it
Too much in the posters all worlds at once like mirrors
No mirrors
(t8n-depart: "shudder")[[Run|endHall]]](else: )[You leave the bed unmade.
Posters on the walls are the only real source of color in the room. When you stare through them long enough, you can see a wolf, a row of hearts, crossed swords.
If you're up for a shower, you can [[step into your bathroom|Bathroom]].
Sounds from your neighbors on this floor drift in from the [[hall|Hallway]].]You're not sure exactly when, but you stopped looking in the mirror after a while. You avoid its gaze again today.
When you stand under the shower's jets, the temperature is (either: "cozy", "soothing", "lukewarm", "tepid", "scalding", "freezing") and the pressure is (either: "comforting", "relaxing", "middling", "anemic", "painfully intense", "barely a trickle").
You dry off and go back to [[your room]].(if: $herVisited is true and $himVisited is true and $themVisited is true and $waterQuest is false and $fruitQuest is false and $letterQuest is false)[(set: $currentDay to it + 1)(set:$himVisited to false)(set:$herVisited to false)(set:$themVisited to false)Fatigue is setting in, blurry at the edges. You want to go to [[your room]] to lie down.](else:)[The hall is wide and well-kept, but not very welcoming. The lights are always just a bit too bright.
You can visit your neighbors [[next door|Bon Vivant]], [[across the hall|Lovers]], or [[diagonally from you|Mourner]].
Stairs lead [[up|Upper floors]] to the higher floors and [[down|In-between]] to the shared kitchen.]
After the first few steps, you start wondering what you're doing. You don't know any of the upstairs neighbors by name, face, or number. How many are there, anyway?
You retreat to [[your own floor|Hallway]].“Not from that faucet,” he calls, voice still thick. “The good stuff from downstairs, please.” You could have seen that coming.
His mirror is a spiderweb of cracks.
You follow his voice back out and [[leave his room|Hallway]].(if: $currentDay is 3 and $himVisited is true)[You don't want to.
[[Back|Hallway]] ](else-if: $currentDay is 3 and $himVisited is false)[(set: $himVisited to true)No tears today, but few smiles either. He’s agitated, pacing the length of the room again and again.
“I found a story I started writing,” he explains. “But I don’t remember where I was going with it. I didn’t outline anything. I feel like I should know the characters better, but I don’t understand their motives.”
You know the notebook he’s talking about. He’s shown you before. He never seems to pay attention to the dates in the upper right-hand corners of the pages.
You can’t help him here. You [[leave him to his thoughts|Hallway]].](else-if: $currentDay is 2 and $himVisited is true)[He'll probably remember that you were just there. Probably.
[[Back|Hallway]] ](else-if: $currentDay is 2 and $himVisited is false)[(set: $himVisited to true)He glances up in confusion as you enter, pausing the video on his computer screen. “Doesn’t anyone fucking knock here?”
He calms down immediately, though. It’s been a while since you’ve seen him so peaceful. No tear stains on his cheeks, no sign of a haunting in his eyes. You pull up a chair and watch the movie with him, share a couple of drinks. His laughter, when it comes, is surprising yet inevitable, a hot spring bubbling up from unseen depths.
When you get up to leave, his smiling face is as open as a child’s. “It’s been really nice meeting you. We should do this again.”
//Of course//, you think but don’t say, returning to the [[hall|Hallway]].](else-if: $currentDay is 1 and $waterQuest is false and $hasWater is true)[You really should [[let him rest|Hallway]].](else-if: $currentDay is 1 and $waterQuest is true and $hasWater is true)[(set: $waterQuest to false)He grabs the cup so quickly you’re sure it’ll spill, but it doesn’t, and he desperately swallows every drop.
His arms go limp and the cup falls to the floor, though no harm is done by empty plastic hitting carpet. You have a feeling this was planned for.
He stares through you in silence, and you turn away from your reflection in his eyes. You wonder what he sees. The hearts? The swords? The wolf?
You help him into his chair and [[let him rest|Hallway]].](else-if: $currentDay is 1 and $waterQuest is true and $hasWater is false)[The cup is empty. Go [[get the water|Hallway]] first.](else: )[(set: $himVisited to true)(set: $waterQuest to true)He’s crying again. He always tries to keep the sound muffled: damp pillow crushed beside him, bite marks flushing on his arm. It rarely works.
You know he’ll flinch away from comfort, and he does. Eventually, he chokes out his raspy request. “Can you get me a glass of water?” He gestures at an old plastic cup on his desk. Its printed picture has faded with age and washing: a mascot, or a childhood cartoon.
You [[step into his bathroom|MBathroom]].](if: $currentDay is 3)[The new floor still smells unsettlingly liminal. There are a few unmarked boxes in the hallway, but no other sign of new occupants.
You rush [[downstairs|Kitchen]] or [[back up|Hallway]] before the trip can get any longer.](else-if: $currentDay is 2)[You’re in another hallway flanked by four rooms, two on each side. The doors all hang open.
Wait.
No, the kitchen’s on the floor below yours. Right?
The fumes of fresh paint and the off-gassing from new carpet are making you dizzy. You go [[down another flight of stairs|Kitchen]] or back to [[your own floor|Hallway]], hoping to get your bearings.](else: )[There’s noise in the walls as you pass through this flight of stairs. It sounds almost like hammering, drilling, or an excavation.
Maybe there’s a repair crew here, or an exterminator who should be. Neither would surprise you. You have other things to worry about, whether in the [[kitchen|Kitchen]] or back [[upstairs|Hallway]].]This floor is something between a commercial kitchen and an office break room. Tables are scattered around the cavernous, curiously sterile space.
You don’t do much cooking yourself these days, but clearly other residents do. Every day you smell strong coffee, freshly baked bread and cookies, cheap instant noodles, mouthwatering blends of spices, and the eggs someone always feels the need to hard-boil into oblivion.
In a corner near the counter, there is a tall [[dispenser]] full of cool, shimmering water. You can also check to see what’s in the [[cabinets]] or the [[refrigerator]].
The building [[foyer|Foyer]] is downstairs.
Your floor is back [[upstairs|In-between]].The tile mosaic on the floor makes your head spin. The pattern is phosphenic, obscene.
Above the front door of fine, dark wood, the transom window is caked in grime. Its lettering is faintly visible:
(text-style: "mirror","blurrier")[ASPHODEL ARMS]
There is a door to the [[mailroom|Mailroom]] on your left.
The [[kitchen|Kitchen]] is back upstairs.
You could try [[leaving the building|front door]].(if: $letterQuest is true)[(set: $hasLetter to true)You unlock the mailbox labeled (font:'Wingdings')[ily] with the key you took from upstairs. A large manila envelope is rolled, almost crushed, into the space. You pull it out and unfurl it; the postage stamp is incomprehensible, and there’s no return address in the opposite corner. You’re not sure even your neighbors know where it’s coming from, but you rush it [[back up to them|Hallway]] anyway.](else: )[As far as you can remember, you haven’t received any mail in the time you’ve lived here. That doesn’t seem to have changed today.
[[Back|Foyer]]]The door is heavier than it looks, which was already very heavy. You wonder what kind of tree it could have been hewn from.
Where do you have to go anyway? Why bother? Everything you need is right here.
[[Go back.|Foyer]]<span class="big">[[your life, and nothing else|your room]]</span>
<span class="smaller">[[Credits]] | [[Content notes]]</span>Contains depictions of self-harm.
Some scenes may be evocative of hallucinatory/dissociative states and disordered eating.
[[Return to title screen|Title]]Written by Lionstooth in Twine (Harlowe 3.3.9) for ECTOCOMP 2024
Thanks to:
Daniel M. Stelzer and Manon (manonamora) for testing and feedback
Daniel Talsky for the <a href="https://github.com/danieltalsky/twine-css-template" target="_blank">Twine CSS Template</a>
You, for playing
itslionstooth@gmail.com
<a href="https://linktr.ee/itslionstooth" target="_blank">Other projects</a>
[[Return to title screen|Title]] | [[Restart|Intro]](if: $currentDay is 3 and $herVisited is true)[You won't.
[[Back|Hallway]] ](else-if: $currentDay is 3 and $herVisited is false)[(set: $herVisited to true)You almost choke on the smell that washes over you when you open the door.
It sounds like three or four songs are playing at once.
The fruit bowl is an overflowing mound of mold and decay. She is still scooping it into her mouth by handfuls, grinning at you with sticky teeth.
You turn and heave out into the [[hall|Hallway]].](else-if: $currentDay is 2 and $fruitQuest is false and $hasFruit is true)[The pomegranate seeds looked like blood-gorged insects in their papery nest.
[[Back|Hallway]] ](else-if: $currentDay is 2 and $fruitQuest is true and $hasFruit is true)[(set: $fruitQuest to false)When she throws her arms around you gleefully, she almost crushes some of the more delicate fruit between you. “Thank you thank you!”
She slices into the mango, pries seeds from the pomegranate with long nails, holds a berry to your lips. You find you’re not that hungry now.
You [[leave her|Hallway]] to her feast.](else-if: $currentDay is 2 and $fruitQuest is true and $hasFruit is false)[She'll be disappointed if you go back empty-handed. Go [[find some new fruit|Hallway]].](else-if: $currentDay is 2 and $fruitQuest is false and $hasFruit is false)[(set: $herVisited to true)(set: $fruitQuest to true)Today she’s dancing, but her movements are staccato and frustrated. The record on the turntable is a jarring fusion of stabbing strings and fuzzed-out guitars. The air is stagnant.
“I’m //starving//.” She punctuates this with a childlike stamp of the foot. When you gesture at the full fruit bowl, she wrinkles her nose. “It’s all apples and bananas now. Isn’t there anything different?”
Instead of asking why she doesn’t go take a look in the kitchen, you suggest doing it yourself. As you [[turn to leave|Hallway]], she flops on the bed with an exaggerated huff.](else-if: $currentDay is 1 and $herVisited is true)[She's singing in her sleep.
[[Back|Hallway]] ](else: )[(set: $herVisited to true)She reclines on the bed, listening to music on an old turntable, something choral and soaring.
A pleasant breeze stirs the room and makes a bouquet on the table tremble. The window is closed. Maybe there’s a fan somewhere you don’t see.
She welcomes you and you sprawl out at the foot of her bed, eating a plum she offers you from her bowl of fruit. It’s dark as night and has an unfamiliar sweetness.
In the middle of a story she’s recounting, she dozes off, a soft smile on juice-stained lips. You [[slip out of the room quietly|Hallway]], trying not to disturb her.](if: $currentDay is 3 and $letterQuest is false and $hasLetter is true)[You shouldn't.
[[Back|Hallway]] ](else-if: $currentDay is 3 and $letterQuest is true and $hasLetter is true)[(set: $letterQuest to false)They push past each other to snatch the letter from your hands, tearing at the flap. The envelope tears, pops like a small firecracker, and dissolves into a shower of glitter.
They stare at each other, eyes watering from the shrapnel, spitting, furious.
You [[retreat|Hallway]] immediately.](else-if: $currentDay is 3 and $letterQuest is true and $hasLetter is false)[The fight is only getting worse. You should [[go check|Hallway]] to see if their mail arrived.](else-if: $currentDay is 3 and $letterQuest is false and $hasLetter is false)[(set: $themVisited to true)(set: $letterQuest to true)You heard the shouting from your room, but the words only start to become clear as you step through the door that's been hanging ajar.
It’s sweltering. The candles smell different this time, musk and ozone and something you can’t place. From downstairs, maybe?
“It should have been here days ago. It was your turn to check.”
“You never mentioned it! You’re only telling me now?”
As you keep listening, you gather they’ve been waiting for some mail, but they neither stop long enough to deal with the problem nor acknowledge you at all. You spot a mailbox key on the TV stand and quietly pocket it. They don’t even notice you [[leave the room|Hallway]].](else-if: $currentDay is 2 and $themVisited is true)[You're done third-wheeling for today.
[[Back|Hallway]]](else-if: $currentDay is 2 and $themVisited is false)[(set: $themVisited to true)The two of them are on the loveseat again, though you don’t seem to have interrupted such a romantic tableau as the previous day’s. They sit at opposite ends, legs tangled awkwardly. One grabs the other’s foot playfully and gets a wan smile in return. The TV is up too loud.
The candles are burning again. It’s too many for such a small space, you think. You never realized just how hot it gets in here.
They seem happy to chat with you for a while, but their distraction soon extends to you too. You tell them you’ll [[see them later|Hallway]].](else-if: $currentDay is 1 and $themVisited is true)[Do these doors even lock? Judging by the sounds in there, now is not the time to find out.
[[Back|Hallway]] ](else: )[(set: $themVisited to true)The couple are entwined on their loveseat, watching something in a language you don’t understand on a flickering television. Candles are burning throughout the room, and the air is heavy with vanilla and sandalwood.
The lovers don’t seem to be paying much attention to their program. They’re more interested in gazing into each other’s eyes, occasionally giggling at something you didn’t hear them say, if indeed they said it aloud and not through telepathy.
They acknowledge you with coy smiles, but it doesn’t seem like the time for a social call. You make an excuse and return to the [[hallway|Hallway]].](if: $himVisited is true and $herVisited is true and $themVisited is true)[ [[Up]]
[[Down]]](else: )[Walls too close now
Fluorescent, |text>[purified] (live: 1s)[(replace: ?text)[putrefied](stop:)]
All doors open
[[Next]]
[[Across]]
[[Diagonal]]](if: $waterQuest is true)[(set: $hasWater to true) You hold the plastic cup under the spigot and press the lever. The slow trickle of water is soothing, almost meditative.
You snap back to attention when the cup is about to overflow. How long have you been standing there? You almost take a reflexive sip to lower the water level, but decide against it and pour a bit off in the sink before you gingerly make your way [[back to your floor|Hallway]].](else: )[You don’t feel thirsty enough to try to find a clean cup. No one’s done these dishes in a while.
[[Back|Kitchen]]]Along with the expected dishes, pots, pans, and other cooking implements, there are more dry goods than you’ve ever seen in one place outside a supermarket. You don’t know who restocks them.
[[Back|Kitchen]] (if: $fruitQuest is true)[(set: $hasFruit to true) In one of the drawers of the fridge, you find a bounty of fruit: a mango, a pomegranate, cartons of strawberries and blackberries. Instead of trying to guess what your neighbor wants, you pile it all into your arms and sidestep [[up the stairs|Hallway]] past the new floor and to her room.](else: )[Always full of produce, eggs, milk, meat, and other perishables. Maybe you’ll make something later. Maybe not.
[[Back|Kitchen]]](set: $herVisited to true)Voices more voices than can be imagined than could exist
Melodies and countermelodies, harm(after: 2s)[ony]
Air choked with notes with seed with rot
A light so brilliant so brutal [[so|endHall]](set: $themVisited to true)They are an an they are a one a whole
Legs here arms there
The room is on fire, the wax coats everything, the hive
A terrible splendor
eyes(after: 1s)[eyes](after: 1.5s)[eyes](after: 1.75s)[eyes](after: 1.9s)[eyes](after: 2s)[[[eyes|endHall]]](set: $himVisited to true)Circles and circles
(text-rotate-z:50)[Wheels] and (text-rotate-z:180)[wheels] and (text-rotate-z:275)[wheels]
Carpet is soaked, choking mildew, frozen in places
Somewhere a stream bubbles, a river runs, here and [[not here|endHall]]Holes in walls
Eyes in holes
[[Watching|endKitchen]]No
[[Down]]Sulfur and sex and azalea and antiseptic
[[Drink the water]]
[[Run for the outside]]You fall on your knees, a supplicant, before the dispenser. Mouth open, tongue lolling, you paw at the lever.
How many times have you chosen to unknow like this, to turn away before facing the full truth? How many times have you seen it in its enormity?
You drink until drinking becomes inhaling. Your body has long since forgotten the mechanisms of breathing.
By the time you are surrounded, wrapped in protective arms, and carried upstairs like a tired child – fruit-sticky, glitter-specked – you see, hear, speak, and know nothing.
*
(after: 7s)[ [[Credits]]]You throw yourself against the door, beating and clawing until your hands should bleed but don’t.
It doesn’t so much as tremble. There’s no handle, of course.
You know now that all worlds still open to you are here inside these walls. You could choose at any time which one to inhabit.
You would still feel the heat of the flames on every zephyr, the maggots in every bite of ambrosia. You could give yourself what you’re pretty sure you deserve, but you’d never stop resenting every grateful smile or beautiful strain of music that would still reach you, reminding you of what you could have allowed yourself.
Either way, the gift of forgetting would no longer be available to you. You’d always know that all three are [[one and –|continued]]A |text>[wheel rotates against] (live: 2s)[(replace: ?text)[hand cups] (stop:)] your jaw. Another raises a familiar plastic cup to your lips. You swallow, and swallow again.
You jerk your head away from an empty cup, startled. You stare through the assembled figures of strangers around you.
You know without knowing: the wolf.
*
(after: 5s)[ [[Credits]]]