"Lecture Feature" by Paul Equinox Collins Include Basic Screen Effects by Emily Short. [to support "wait for any key"] Include Plurality by Emily Short. [to support "use manual pronouns"] Include Complex Listing by Emily Short. [to support "use manual pronouns"] The story creation year is 2009. [The year it was first published.] The story genre is "Comedy". Use full-length room descriptions, no scoring [I implemented my own], and the serial comma. Use manual pronouns. [seems to cause less confusion with parser reactions to "it" and "them"] [The licence is not library card metadata, so just print it at the start] After printing the banner text, say "[unicode 169] Copyright 1999-2014 Paul Equinox Collins. With thanks to the rec.arts.int-fiction community for help and advice." Release along with an interpreter. [This creates the Web page version.] Section 0 - Globals band_recorded is a truth state that varies. band_recorded is false. noise_recorded is a truth state that varies. noise_recorded is false. inited_endgame is a truth state that varies. inited_endgame is false. [These flags are needed because "if the player has (not) held the ring" etc. frequently does not work properly -- this caused subtle bugs allowing e.g. getting a second kebab.] coat_ever_held is a truth state that varies. coat_ever_held is false. chair_ever_held is a truth state that varies. chair_ever_held is false. photo_ever_held is a truth state that varies. photo_ever_held is false. ring_ever_held is a truth state that varies. ring_ever_held is false. dicta_ever_held is a truth state that varies. dicta_ever_held is false. kebab_ever_held is a truth state that varies. kebab_ever_held is false. To say emdash: say "[unicode 8212]" Instead of putting something (called x) on a container (called y), try inserting x into y. [I want to forbid "insert all in box" (and so on) because being able to try everything at once makes my what-goes-in-the-slot puzzles annoyingly trivial. However, you can't remove a single grammar line for a verb, so to achieve this I have to wipe out the entire verb and restore it by repeating code from the Standard Rules -- minus the plural "[other things]". Here goes...] Understand the command "drop" as something new. Understand the command "insert" as something new. Understand the command "put" as something new. Understand "drop [things preferably held]" as dropping. [Understand "drop [other things] in/into/down [something]" as inserting it into.] [^ Instead] Understand "drop [something] in/into/down [something]" as inserting it into. Understand "drop [other things] on/onto [something]" as putting it on. Understand "drop [something preferably held] at/against/on/onto [something]" as throwing it at. [Understand "insert [other things] in/into [something]" as inserting it into.] [^ Instead] Understand "insert [something] in/into [something]" as inserting it into. [Understand "put [other things] in/inside/into [something]" as inserting it into.] [^ Instead] Understand "put [something] in/inside/into [something]" as inserting it into. Understand "put [other things] on/onto [something]" as putting it on. Understand "put on [something preferably held]" as wearing. Understand "put down [things preferably held]" or "put [things preferably held] down" as dropping. [Now write responses for the cases that I have forbidden.] Understand "drop all/everything in/into/down [something]" as a mistake ("You can't use multiple objects with that verb."). Understand "insert all/everything in/into [something]" as a mistake ("You can't use multiple objects with that verb."). Understand "put all/everything in/inside/into [something]" as a mistake ("You can't use multiple objects with that verb."). Things can be coinlike. Things can be machinery. Instead of taking, switching on, switching off, pulling, pushing, opening or closing a thing that is machinery, say "You feel you'd better leave the contraptions alone." Things can be battery-powered. Instead of inserting something that is not the battery into something battery-powered, say "That doesn't belong in a battery compartment." Instead of inserting the battery into when the second noun is not battery-powered, say "That doesn't seem to take batteries." Understand "girl", "woman" as a woman. Understand "boy", "man" as a man. Instead of taking a woman, say "You were never much good at picking up girls." [Letting the player sit/stand on things is generally too much hassle, since other responses tend to assume that the player can move about the room and reach distant objects; so here is a standard routine we can explicitly call when trying to enter/sit/stand on a bed, seat, etc.] To reject entering: say "There's little point in doing that." Instead of attacking something, say "Calm down. This isn't some kind of hack-and-slash dungeon crawl." [Also permit "attack X with Y", i.e. "break glass with cheese".] Attacking it with is an action applying to one thing and one carried thing. Understand "attack [something] with [something]" as attacking it with. Instead of attacking something (called x) with something, try attacking x. Instead of burning, say "Let's not cross the line between harmless pranks and premeditated arson." Instead of burning the DVD burner [i.e. "burn DVD"], say "How?" Instead of buying, say "Without any money, you can't buy anything." Understand "press" as pushing. [for the remote control's button] Understand the commands "pet", "stroke" as "kiss". Instead of kissing somebody, say "That wouldn't be appropriate." Does the player mean kissing [or petting or stroking] Ligeia: it is very likely. Instead of smelling the player, say "You could use a shower[if the player has been drenched]. The non-emergency kind[end if]." Instead of smelling somebody who is not the player, say "You're so creepy." Instead of asking someone about something, explain how to talk in this game. Instead of asking someone for something, explain how to talk in this game. Instead of telling someone about something, explain how to talk in this game. Instead of answering someone that something, explain how to talk in this game. Persuasion rule for asking people to try doing anything: explain how to talk in this game. To explain how to talk in this game: say "To communicate with people, use 'talk to'. For example: 'talk to Bob'." Talking to is an action applying to one thing. Understand "talk [someone]" and "talk to [someone]" as talking to. Instead of talking to the player, say "You mumble something under your breath." Instead of talking to someone (called target), say "[The target] [if target is plural-named]have[else]has[end if] little to say to you." Talking to about is an action applying to one thing and one topic. Understand "talk to [someone] about [text]" as talking to about. Instead of talking to about, explain how to talk in this game. [Without this, "talk to Mark about me" would confusingly fail, as "Mark about me" is not a person.] Yourself can be drenched. [from the emergency shower] Cooking is an action applying to one thing. Understand "cook [something]" as cooking. Instead of cooking in the presence of the cooker, [Scummett only; Hovelsworth has none visible] say "You're not about to prepare a meal in this dump." Instead of cooking, say "You can't see a cooker." Handcuffing is an action applying to one visible thing. Understand "cuff [something]" as handcuffing. Understand "handcuff [something]" as handcuffing. Instead of handcuffing something (called x) when the player holds the handcuffs, try putting the handcuffs on x. Instead of handcuffing when the player does not hold the handcuffs, say "You aren't carrying handcuffs." Dying is an action out of world. Understand "die" as dying. Check dying: say "You suddenly die of thrombosis.[line break][line break][bold type]* * * You have died * * *[roman type][line break][line break]Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, or QUIT?". [...so this is a joke and won't really end the game.] Recording it with is an action applying to one visible thing and one carried thing. Things can be recording-capable. Understand "record [something] with [something]" as recording it with. Does the player mean recording something with something recording-capable: it is very likely. Does the player mean recording the band with something: it is very likely. Does the player mean recording the band with the dictaphone: it is very likely. Does the player mean recording the noun with the noun: it is very unlikely. [e.g. band with band] Instead of recording a person (called x) with when band_recorded is false, say "[The x] [if x is plural-named]don't[else]doesn't[end if] want to be recorded." Instead of recording the player with when band_recorded is false: say "'Testing. One two, one two.'"; now noise_recorded is true. Instead of recording when band_recorded is false: say "You capture a few seconds of background noise."; now noise_recorded is true. Instead of recording when band_recorded is true, say "What, and lose your recording of the band? You don't want to sit through that song again." [Use a "before" instead of "instead" rule to avoid trying to implicitly take the second noun.] Before recording something with something not recording-capable: say "That doesn't look like a recording device to you."; rule fails. Flushing is an action applying to one thing. Understand "flush [something]" as flushing. Instead of flushing something, say "You can't flush that." Does the player mean flushing something that is not the toilet: it is very unlikely. Deflating is an action applying to one thing. Understand "deflate [something]", "pop [something]", "burst [something]" as deflating. Instead of deflating something, say "That's not inflatable." Does the player mean deflating something that is not the chair: it is very unlikely. Asking for help is an action out of world. Understand "help" as asking for help. Check asking for help: say "Spend some time in every location, and examine anything that might be of interest. Talk to people: some of them will help you, but they might want something first. Collect items and use them creatively to advance in your quest [emdash] when you've found out what that is.[line break][line break]You can always 'save' your game progress and 'restore' it later.[if the player has held the wallet][line break]Remember: you need to 'recruit' one student from every school for your grant protest. Use 'score' to see who's on your side so far." [Discard some unwanted commands; see "Index > Actions > Commands available to the player".] Understand the commands "adjust", "attach", "chop", "clear", "consult", "cut", "display", "dust", "fasten", "feed", "feel", "fix", "hug", "no", "polish", "present", "prune", "rotate", "rub", "screw", "scrub", "set", "shine", "show", "slice", "sorry", "squash", "squeeze", "sweep", "swing", "taste", "think", "tie", "touch", "twist", "unscrew", "unwrap", "wave", "y", "yes" as something new. [Want to lose "turn __" but keep "turn __ on/off", "turn on/off __".] Understand the command "turn" as something new. Understand "turn on [something]", "turn [something] on" as switching on. Understand "turn off [something]", "turn [something] off" as switching off. [Want to lose "look up __ in __" but keep the other forms of "look".] Understand the command "look" as something new. Understand "look" as looking. Understand the command "look at/in/inside/into/through/under" as something new. Understand "look at/in/inside/into/through/under [something]" as examining. [Want to lose "read (about) __ in __" but keep my basic "read" for examining.] Understand the command "read" as something new. Understand "read [something]" as examining. Understand "wash [something]" as rubbing. [= "clean", but not "rub" which was removed above] Instead of rubbing something, say "Students don't wash things! They just let them fester." Understand the command "leave" as something new. Understand "leave" as exiting. Understand the command "search" as something new. Understand "search [something]" as examining. Instead of jumping, say "You manage a little lurch." Praying is an action applying to nothing. Understand "pray" as praying. Instead of praying, say "The gods have better things to do than curing your hangover." Failed recruiting is an action applying to one thing. Instead of failed recruiting, say "You have no reason to." Recruiting is an action applying to one thing. Does the player mean recruiting a person: it is very likely. To decide whether recruiting is possible: if the player has held the wallet, decide yes. Understand "recruit [something]" as recruiting when recruiting is possible. Understand "recruit [something]" as failed recruiting when not recruiting is possible. Before recruiting something that is recruited (called target) that is not the player: say "You already have [the target]'s support."; stop the action. Instead of recruiting something that is not a person, say "Recruiting inanimate objects will not further your cause." Instead of recruiting something that is a person (called target): if target is the player begin; say "I think you can count on your own support."; else; say "[The target] [if target is plural-named]are[else]is[end if] not interested in your protest."; end if. Check requesting the score when recruiting is possible: show the recruitment status; stop the action. An every turn rule: if inited_endgame is false [i.e. we haven't already done this; are not yet in pre-JCR endgame] begin; let num_needed be the number of people who attend a region minus the number of recruited people; if num_needed is 1 [i.e. we just, on this turn, recruited the last-but-one person] begin; set up the endgame; [see further comments there] change inited_endgame to true; end if; end if. Check requesting the score when not recruiting is possible: [i.e. recruiting is not possible] say "You don't have any particular goal in mind yet."; stop the action. Instead of singing, say "You hum a few bars of a recent chart hit by the Plotkins. 'I know we'll always be together, like a change in the weather...'". [Andrew Plotkin's game title] Dancing is an action applying to nothing. Understand "dance" as dancing. Instead of dancing, say "Here? What a ridiculous notion." Instead of dancing in the JCR, say "You sway on the spot." Instead of sleeping, say "Nah. Sleeping in the daytime always depresses you." Instead of swearing mildly or swearing obscenely, say "You snarl in frustration." Fucking is an action applying to one thing. Understand "fuck [something]" as fucking. [as opposed to "fuck" alone, which is swearing] Instead of fucking, say "Try to control your primitive instincts." Understand "use [something]" as a mistake ("Instead of trying to 'use' an item, describe what you want to do specifically.[if the noun is toilet][line break][line break]Actually... in this case, please don't.[end if]"). Instead of waking up, say "You did that a while ago. On the whole, you're still regretting it." Xyzzying is an action out of world. Understand "xyzzy" as xyzzying. Check xyzzying: say "Your mind drifts back to your last fling before university...[line break][line break]Zoë 'Zizi' Thomas [emdash] the girl you met during your summer job at Rob's Records. She was crazy, adorable but crazy, and Rob always used to say he'd fire her for her wacky antics. You thought he was joking. Then came the day when you turned up as usual to stock the shelves and your heart was broken forever.[line break][line break]'Where's Zizi?'[line break]'Zizi? That mad chick doesn't work here.'" [Some Spectrum adaptation of the old Colossal Cave adventure would say "That magic doesn't work here" if you tried "xyzzy"; there's nothing on Google, but I like the pun anyway.] When play begins: say [Ashley wrote most or all of this intro] "You are awake, but you would rather not be. The severe cramp in your neck seems almost inconsequential in comparison with the pounding in your head. Your suspicions are roused as to what may have happened the previous night because, as yet, you can remember nothing. A peculiarly furry sensation in your mouth, combined with the unmistakable stench of very cheap scotch, adds to your mounting fear.[line break][line break]By the time your vision clears and you notice that you are lying in the bath of your friend's hall of residence, it is clear to you that you are a victim of Jessica's 21st Birthday Party, as advertised on lamp posts and fences across the city for the past three months.[line break][line break]Your liver is reporting major difficulties and your stomach produces intermittent gurgles of protest. Your head drowns out all other considerations, however, and you sit up, take a look around you, and pray for death...[line break][line break]" Instead of taking inventory when the player is not holding anything: say "All you've got right now is a hangover." Instead of examining the player: say "Rick Hejlsberg, 18 years old. Having completed your secondary education at St Borogrund's (see 'Teacher Feature'), you chose to embark upon a degree in the School of Marketing and Meeja Studies at the University of Greater Dossing; and here you are, slightly taller, marginally less chubby-cheeked, and more interested than ever before in girls and drinking."; if the player is not wearing the trousers, say "[line break]Incidentally, you don't seem to be wearing any trousers." The ceiling is a backdrop. It is everywhere. Understand "sky" as the ceiling. The description is "You direct your gaze skywards." The universal_floor is a backdrop with printed name "floor". It is everywhere. Understand "floor", "ground", "path", "track" as the universal_floor when the carpet is not visible. Understand "walkway" as the universal_floor when the location is [anywhere] in Dean's Walk. The description is "You stare shyly at the ground." The universal_wall is a backdrop with printed name "wall". It is everywhere. Understand "wall", "walls" as the universal_wall when the props are not visible and the mural is not visible. [since these can also be "wall"] The description is "You don't find the wall, or indeed walls in general, particularly interesting." The universal_door is a backdrop with printed name "door". It is everywhere. Understand "door", "doors" as the universal_door. Instead of doing something [even examining!] with the universal_door, say "I'll take care of the doors. Just tell me which way you want to go." Rule for deciding whether all includes backdrops: it does not. [avoid trying to get doors, walls, etc.] Men can be recruited. Women can be recruited. Yourself can be recruited. Yourself is recruited. To show the recruitment status: say "You have recruited the following students for your grant protest:[line break][line break]"; let num_schools be 0; let num_recruited be 0; let L be the list of regions; sort L in printed name order; repeat with school running through L [first loop shows the schools from which we've recruited] begin; if a person (called student) attends the school and student is recruited begin; increase num_schools by 1; say "[school]: [the student][line break]"; increase num_recruited by 1; end if; end repeat; repeat with school running through L [second loop shows schools still to do, *after* the above] begin; if a person (called student) attends the school and student is not recruited begin; increase num_schools by 1; say "[school]: (nobody yet)[line break]"; end if; end repeat; let num_needed be (num_schools - num_recruited); if num_needed is greater than 0, say "[line break]Just [num_needed in words] more to go." To set up the endgame: [The endgame occurs when you recruit the last-but-one person; the one remaining must be Lyssa, who can only be recruited inside the so-far-inaccessible JCR. At this point Lyssa and Mark go to the east square and encourage you to enter the JCR with them -- unless Mark is still chained, in which case Lyssa appears there alone and tells you to free him first.] say "It's getting darker outside: early evening. You've been at this all afternoon."; [Consider the possible (but fairly unlikely) cases where we see Lyssa arrive or leave.] if Lyssa is not in the east square and the player is in the east square begin; say "[line break]Lyssa enters."; [from unknown direction; she could've been anywhere] else if Lyssa is in the location and the player is not in the east square; say "[line break]Lyssa leaves, saying, 'I'm going to the JCR. Meet me outside.'"; end if; change Lyssa to immobile; move Lyssa to the east square; if the handcuffs are not part of Mark [i.e. he has been freed; if not, we'll do it when he gets freed] begin; change Mark to immobile; move Mark to the east square; end if. [Here comes the NPC movement code.] People can be mobile or immobile. People are usually mobile. Rooms can be wanderable or unwanderable. Rooms are usually wanderable. Table of Inverse Direction Descriptors Direction Inverse north "the south" northeast "the southwest" northwest "the southeast" south "the north" southeast "the northwest" southwest "the northeast" east "the west" west "the east" up "below" down "above" Every turn: repeat with mover running through people who are mobile who are not the player begin; if mover is in a room (called source) and a random chance of 1 in 4 succeeds begin; let target be a random wanderable room which is adjacent to source; let way be the best route from source to target; if mover is visible, say "[mover] goes [way]."; move mover to target; if mover is visible, say "[mover] enters from [the inverse corresponding to a direction of way in the Table of Inverse Direction Descriptors]."; end if; end repeat. Section 1 - Scummett block Scummett block is a region. The player is in the bath. The carpet is a backdrop. It is in Lyssa's room, Mark's room, west corridor, east corridor. [but it's not in the bathroom or kitchen or the Nerd's cavelike room] Understand "floor", "ground" as the carpet. [Compare the universal_floor in other rooms.] The description is "Perhaps the only constant element of decor throughout the halls of residence, the flimsy carpet is of a nondescript colour that orange and brown would try to blame on each other." The bathroom is a room in Scummett block with printed name "Bathroom, Scummett block". "The narrow, dingy bathroom of Scummett block is furnished with a bath and a toilet. The wallpaper peels miserably, as though [emdash] knowing from the first that it was doomed to languish in a humid cesspit [emdash] it could never quite summon the motivation to stand upright. The stippled glass on this shady side of the building admits little light, but the door leading south into the corridor is outlined in faint brightness." Instead of smelling the bathroom, say "You detect a faint chalky odour of limescale and old grout, supplemented by a hint of mildew." A bath is here. It is an enterable container and scenery. Understand "bathtub", "tub" as the bath. The description of the bath is "An ugly grey enamel bath. With the benefit of hindsight, it's really no substitute for a bed." Instead of inserting into the bath, say "You really don't want anything more to do with this bath." Instead of entering the bath when not in the bath, say "You don't feel like clambering back in there." Before going from the bathroom when the player is in the bath: say "You get out of the bath."; silently try exiting. [non-silently would also do an additional "look", which we don't want] Understand "get out of bath", "get out of the bath", "leave bath" as exiting when the player is in the bath. Some wallpaper is here. It is scenery. Understand "paper" as wallpaper when the wallpaper is in the location. [compare the kebab] The description is "The wallpaper depicts improbable beige flowers on a bland ecru background. In a more critical mood, you might eye it with distaste, but anything that doesn't hurt your head to look at is a blessing for the time being." Instead of taking the wallpaper, say "Well, you might be able to tear down a strip, but it looks sorry enough already." A window is here. It is scenery. Understand "stippled", "glass" as the window. The description is "The window glass is patterned for modesty, turning the outside world into a vague green blur." A toilet is here. It is a container and scenery. Understand "bog", "john", "lavatory", "loo", "wc" as the toilet. The toilet can be either flushed or unflushed. The description is "[if the toilet is flushed]Grimy but functional.[otherwise]The contents look hauntingly familiar. Carrot soup, anyone?[end if]" Instead of flushing the toilet when the player is in the bath: say "You can't reach that while sitting in the bath." Instead of flushing the toilet when the toilet is unflushed: say "The physical evidence of last night's excesses swirls away in a cascade of frothing water. You wish you could say the same for your headache."; now the toilet is flushed. Instead of flushing the toilet when the toilet is flushed: say "Not necessary." Instead of inserting into the toilet, say "What? That's no kind of hiding place!" Instead of entering [sitting on] the toilet, say "It's rather too cold and uncomfortable." The west corridor is a room in Scummett block with printed name "Corridor, Scummett block". It is south of the bathroom. "This is the west end of a carpeted corridor providing access to all of the rooms in Scummett block. Most of them are poky student bedrooms, but the two communal facilities [emdash] bathroom and kitchen [emdash] are located north and south of here. The corridor continues to the east. A door to the west leads outside." Instead of going to the top of the fire escape from the west corridor: if the player is not wearing the trousers begin; say "You decide against strolling outside in your underwear. Walls have ears, and a lot of mobile phones have cameras."; else if the player is not holding the wallet; [mustn't ignore this plot mover; & it's undroppable] say "As you prepare to step outside, you realise you left your wallet in Mark's room. You'd better grab that before you leave."; else if player is not wearing the sunglasses and player has not been in fire escape; say "The sudden glare of sunlight drives you back."; else if the player has the inflatable chair; say "The inflatable chair won't fit through the doorway."; else; continue the action; end if. The east corridor is a room in Scummett block with printed name "Corridor, Scummett block". It is east of the west corridor. "This is the east end of Scummett block, where the otherwise featureless creamy torso of the ceiling is punctuated, navel-like, by a smoke alarm. Back to the west, the corridor stretches past the communal rooms to the exit. Various bedrooms branch off the corridor here, most of their doors left casually ajar, but you recognise only three of them: Lyssa's room, to the north, Mark's room, to the northeast, and the Nerd's room to the south." Instead of going to the Nerd's room when the Nerd is in the Nerd's room, say "The Nerd's door is shut tight and locked, as always. He leaves his room only in the direst emergencies. Some claim to have seen the pale, froglike creature scampering to the kitchen in the dead of night, but others scoff at such rumours[if the player has not been in the Nerd's room]. The one certainty is that nobody, other than the Nerd himself, has ever entered his room, or even seen the inside.[line break][line break]You like a challenge.[otherwise]." A smoke alarm is here. It is a closed openable container, scenery and battery-powered. The description is "The ceiling-mounted smoke alarm is an object of hatred. Twice a week, at the ungodly hour of eight in the morning, its piercing wail would drag students from their beds to huddle outside in the cold. It was also intermittently triggered by cigarettes, burnt toast, and sneezing.[line break][line break]Finally, though, somebody did the right thing and removed its battery[if the smoke alarm contains the battery] [emdash] which you've now replaced with the battery from the remote control.[otherwise]." Instead of doing anything other than recording, examining or listening to with the smoke alarm when the inflatable chair does not enclose the player, say "You can't quite reach the smoke alarm." Instead of inserting into the smoke alarm when the inflatable chair does not enclose the player, say "You can't quite reach the smoke alarm." Mark's room is a room in Scummett block with printed name "Mark's room, Scummett block". It is northeast of the east corridor. "The dusty carpet of Mark Oddleigh's room is swathed in discarded lecture notes, promo CDs, and other paraphernalia. A bed[if chair_ever_held is false], a cluttered desk, and a lime-green inflatable chair[otherwise] and a cluttered desk[end if] emerge from the debris like the doomed cargo of some foundering ship. The way out is vaguely visible to the southwest.[if unvisited][line break][line break]Mark grins at you. 'For someone who's just had a twelve-hour bath, my friend, you look like crap.'" Understand "dusty" as the carpet when the player is in Mark's room. After going to Mark's room for the first time: change Mark to mobile; continue the action. A cluttered desk is here. It is scenery and a supporter. The description is "Having covered the entire surface of the desk, and not now wanting to set off a small landslide by touching anything, Mark has lately resorted to studying on his bed. It hasn't done anything for the legibility of his handwriting." An inflatable chair is here. It is a portable enterable supporter. Understand "lime green", "green" as the inflatable chair. [Handle the chair not getting a separate description from the room until taken.] Before writing a paragraph about the inflatable chair when chair_ever_held is false: now the inflatable chair is mentioned. The description is "It's a lime-green inflatable chair. What else is there to say?[if the player is holding the chair] You feel more than a little ridiculous carrying it around.[end if]" After taking the inflatable chair when chair_ever_held is false: [^ Don't use "for the first time" here, because the first time might fail, e.g. take while sitting in.] say "The chair is bulky but almost weightless. You spread your arms wide and hoist it aloft."; change chair_ever_held to true. After entering the inflatable chair, say "The chair bulges uneasily as you squeeze yourself between its inflatable arms." Instead of deflating the inflatable chair, say "You'd better not. It took Mark the best part of a day to inflate it." Some promo CDs are here. They are scenery. Understand "cd", "promotional", "compact", "disc", "discs" as the promo CDs. The description is [Meretricious Matadors (band) and Surf Shack (place) refer to my old Sunrise Villas sitcom parody.] "You [one of]idly pick up[or]glance at[purely at random] one of the CDs. [one of]'Gimme That Thing' by DJ Waz.[or]'Surf Shack' by the Meretricious Matadors.[or]'Non-Functional Heart' by Alex Alex.[or]'Who's Up in the What What?' by PP Funky Q.[in random order] You toss it back down." Instead of taking the promo CDs, try examining the promo CDs. Some lecture notes are here. They are scenery. The description is "You understand just enough of them to know that you don't want to understand anything more." Instead of taking the lecture notes, say "Mark may need them [emdash] and you certainly won't." Mark is a man. He is here and immobile. Mark can be recruit-attempted. Understand "oddleigh" as Mark. After printing the name of Mark while looking: [but not in other contexts] if the handcuffs are part of Mark, say " (chained to the statue)". The description is "Mark Oddleigh is an amiable, if unreliable, friend of yours. Since he belongs to the off-campus School of Law, you rarely encounter him in your lectures and seminars ('Business Ethics' being a curious exception), but Mark takes an active part in almost everything and drags you along to social events of all kinds. The two of you have sunk innumerable pints and pool balls together, and (on one memorable occasion) a tractor in the lake.[if the handcuffs are part of Mark][line break][line break]Having impulsively chained himself to the statue with Lyssa's handcuffs, he is shouting about student grants to all who pass by.[end if]" Instead of kissing Mark, say "You aren't [italic type]that[roman type] close." Instead of recruiting Mark: say "You tell Mark about your plans for a grant protest.[line break]'Hmm,' he says. 'Well, I'm doing okay for cash myself, but student riots are always a laugh. I quite fancy the idea of chaining myself in Union Square.'[line break]You tell him you'll see what you can do."; now Mark is recruit-attempted. Instead of giving a Lyssa-owned thing to Mark, [but see handcuffs and key below] say "'Isn't that Lyssa's? Are you trying to get me into trouble?'" Instead of giving the kebab to Mark, say "Mark grimaces. 'It's way too early in the day.'" Instead of giving the handcuffs to Mark when Mark is recruit-attempted [i.e. discussed it first] and the handcuffs have not been part of Mark [i.e. you haven't already done this]: say "'About that protest,' you continue, 'if you want to chain yourself in the square, maybe you could use these.'[line break]'Excellent!' Mark exclaims. He grabs the handcuffs and darts [if Mark is in Scummett block]out of Scummett block[else if Mark is in the west square]over to the statue[else]off somewhere[end if] before you can say another word.[line break][line break]This might pose a problem, because you weren't planning to start the protest today, and you're not quite sure how to open those handcuffs."; [^ note that the player *could* already have Lyssa's key at this point, but couldn't have used it] now the handcuffs are part of Mark; move Mark to the west square; now Mark is immobile; now Mark is recruited. Instead of talking to Mark: if the handcuffs are part of Mark begin; say "'Mark, you idiot. I didn't mean you should go and protest right away. I still have to recruit more people.'[line break]'Well, think of this as a kind of protest preview,' Mark says. 'I think I'm helping to raise awareness of the issue.'[line break]'So you're happy to stay there overnight, are you?'[line break]'What? No! For one thing, I'd miss the JCR tonight.'[line break]'Yeah... it's just that I'm not sure how to get you out of those handcuffs.'[line break]Using stronger language than you feel is merited, Mark suggests that you find out how at your earliest convenience."; else if Mark is in the east square and Mark is immobile; [pre-JCR endgame] try talking to Lyssa; [she must be there too, and they talk to you together here] else; say "'All right?' you ask Mark.[line break]'Yeah,' he grunts, 'bit of a hangover, that's all.'[line break]'Me too,' you understate."; end if. Instead of giving the silver key to Mark when the handcuffs are part of Mark, say "'Yes, very funny,' says Mark. 'I can't unlock them while I'm wearing them, can I?'" Instead of attacking the handcuffs [with nothing specific] when the handcuffs are part of Mark, say "It's tricky to reach behind Mark and get at the handcuffs. You bash at them with no effect." Instead of attacking the handcuffs with something, try attacking the handcuffs. Instead of unlocking Mark with something (called x) when the handcuffs are part of Mark, try unlocking the handcuffs with x. The wallet is a thing. The description is "[if the player has held the wallet]Your imitation brown leather wallet is woefully empty.[otherwise]It's your imitation brown leather wallet.[end if]" Instead of opening the wallet when the player has the wallet, say "You already know the wallet is empty." Instead of opening the wallet when the player does not have the wallet: say "(first taking the wallet)"; try taking the wallet; try opening the wallet. Instead of inserting into the wallet, say "All you want in your wallet is some cash!" Instead of taking the wallet for the first time: say "As you retrieve the wallet, you experience a flashback. Trying to get money out of the PoundPoint last night... beeping noises... some kind of problem. Then it hits you: you no longer have a single penny to your name![line break][line break]Your dehydrated mind fills with indignation at the government's recent abolition of student grants. How can they expect the student population to pay their academic way with only the meagre scrapings of a means-tested financial assessment? Don't they realise that there's no such thing as a free liquid lunch?[line break][line break]On the spot, you resolve to recruit one student from each school of the university in order to spearhead a protest and get the grants reinstated.[line break][line break](Now you can use two new commands: 'recruit', to ask somebody to join your protest, and 'score', to see who's on your side so far.)"; move the wallet to the player; stop the action. [...so it still works right if they did "open" instead of "take"; see above.] [Player *must* keep the wallet, since it is later referenced e.g. at the kebab van.] Instead of dropping the wallet when the player has the wallet, say "It might be empty now, but to throw it away would be to abandon all hope!" Instead of inserting the wallet into when the player has the wallet, say "It might be empty now, but to throw it away would be to abandon all hope!" Instead of putting the wallet on when the player has the wallet, say "It might be empty now, but to throw it away would be to abandon all hope!" A pair of trousers is here. Understand "pants" as the trousers. They are wearable. The description is "These are your trousers. They smell of beer." Instead of smelling the trousers, say "Stale beer. Some time last night, you must have lost track of the exact location of your mouth and started slopping drinks at the last place you heard your voice coming from." Instead of taking off the trousers when the player is wearing the trousers, say "Best leave them on, now that you've found them." After taking the trousers for the first time: say "Your wallet falls out of the back pocket."; move the wallet to the location; continue the action. After taking the trousers, say "You retrieve your trousers." [avoid confusing "Taken" after wallet] Mark's bed is here. It is scenery and a supporter. The description is "Ew. There are biscuit crumbs in it!" After examining Mark's bed for the first time, move the biscuit crumbs to the location. Instead of entering Mark's bed, reject entering. Some biscuit crumbs are a thing. Understand "biscuits", "crumb", "jammy", "jammie", "dodger", "dodgers", "remnants" as the crumbs. They are scenery. The description is "Your Holmesian eye for snack foods correctly identifies the remnants of Jammie Dodgers. Alimentary!" Instead of taking the crumbs, say "You're poor, but not [italic type]starving[roman type]." The Scummett kitchen is a room in Scummett block with printed name "Kitchen, Scummett block". It is south of the west corridor. "The mounds of sauce-encrusted dishes in Scummett block's communal kitchen lend a whole new meaning to the phrase 'great unwashed' and are probably responsible for the weird, unidentifiable smell in here. A fridge and gas cooker are situated against the relevant walls. Northwards, the corridor beckons." Instead of smelling Scummett kitchen, say "You sniff the air and recoil. What [italic type]is[roman type] that?" Instead of listening to Scummett kitchen, say "Just the humming of the refrigerator." Before going from Scummett kitchen: if the cooker is switched on or the fridge is open begin; say "You responsibly [if the cooker is switched on]turn off the cooker[end if][if the cooker is switched on and the fridge is open] and [end if][if the fridge is open]close the fridge[end if] on your way out."; now the cooker is switched off; now the fridge is closed; end if. [^ Note: it is important that you turn off the cooker when leaving the kitchen, or else you could potentially put batteries into the smoke alarm while the cooker was already on. We need the alarm-triggering action to be triggerable only *after* batteries have been put in the alarm.] A mound of unwashed dishes is here. Understand "plate", "plates", "dish", "mounds", "baked", "beans", "sauce", "encrusted", "sauce-encrusted" as the dishes. They are scenery. The description is "You know that primary-school experiment where you leave a sheet of paper for a week to see how much dust it gathers, add another sheet, compare the two a week later, and so on, until you have a row of increasingly dusty sheets of paper and can accurately gauge how much dust falls in a week?[line break][line break]Well, it looks like somebody has been doing that here, but with baked beans." Instead of smelling the dishes, say "You're not about to inhale near that biohazard." Instead of doing anything other than examining or listening to with the dishes, say "You're not touching that biohazard." A fridge is here. It is scenery and a closed openable container. Understand "refrigerator" as the fridge. The description is "[if the fridge is open]The fridge is open. It is crammed with things.[otherwise]The fridge is a large, off-white upright cuboid. It is closed.[end if]" Instead of inserting into the fridge when the fridge is open, say "There's no room!" Instead of closing the fridge when the fridge is open: say "You lean against the fridge door and manage to jam it shut again."; now the fridge is closed. Instead of opening the fridge when the fridge has not been open: say "The fridge, shared between a dozen students, turns out to be correspondingly full. You curse to yourself as various plastic bowls and rancid leftovers topple at your feet.[line break][line break]Among the debris you notice a couple of interesting items."; move the cheese to the location; move the soap powder to the location; now the fridge is open. Instead of switching on or switching off the fridge, say "It's right up against the wall. You can't see any obvious power source." A gas cooker is here. It is scenery and a device. Understand "hob", "oven" as the gas cooker. [Avoid "The description is..." or we'd get the automatic "It is currently switched on/off."] Instead of examining the cooker, say "The gas cooker, sticky with the gravy of a thousand Sundays, consists of a hob and an oven. [if the cooker is switched on]It is switched on. Blue flames leap up from the hob.[otherwise]It is switched off.[end if]". Instead of opening the cooker, say "You're not about to prepare a meal in this dump." Instead of closing the cooker, say "That's already closed." Instead of inserting into the cooker, say "You're not about to prepare a meal in this dump." Instead of putting on the cooker, say "You're not about to prepare a meal in this dump." Instead of switching on the cooker: if the cooker is switched off begin; say "Blue flames leap up from the hob as you switch on the cooker. There is a sudden acrid stench of burning grease."; now the cooker is switched on; if the battery is in the smoke alarm and the Nerd is in the Nerd's room begin; say "[line break]The smoke alarm immediately shrieks into action. With a chorus of moans and grumbles, the residents of Scummett block evacuate their rooms and make their way down the fire escape. Among the students passing by the kitchen door, you spy [if Lyssa is in Scummett block]Lyssa, [end if][if Mark is in Scummett block]Mark, [end if][if Lyssa is in Scummett block or Mark is in Scummett block]and [else]an unfamiliar face [end if][emdash] could that ghostly codfish be the legendary Nerd? He is gone before you can take a proper look.[line break][line break]The last student to leave mutters 'Oh, for Christ's sake', wrenches the battery from the smoke alarm, and flushes it noisily down the toilet."; [^ You had to stand on the chair, but assume this student is taller!] move the Nerd to the computing lab; if Lyssa is in Scummett block, move Lyssa to bottom of the fire escape; if Mark is in Scummett block, move Mark to bottom of the fire escape; remove the battery from play; now the toilet is flushed; [just in case you hadn't done that] end if; else; say "It's already on."; end if. Instead of switching off the cooker: if the cooker is switched on begin; say "You switch off the cooker, and the flames die down to nothing."; now the cooker is switched off; else; say "It's already off."; end if. Instead of burning the cooker, [e.g. "light hob"] try switching on the cooker. A block of cheese is a thing. Understand "hard", "yellow", "brick" as the cheese. The description is "This hard yellow brick was once, apparently, a dairy product. No longer. It is well on the way to fossilhood and rather attractively spotted with aquamarine." Instead of eating the cheese, say "You'd rather keep your teeth. This cheese ranks somewhere between quartz and orthoclase on the Mohs scale." After taking the cheese for the first time, say "You pick up the cheese. Thankfully, some months have elapsed since the time when it would have begun to sweat." A box of soap powder is a thing. Understand "washing", "detergent" as the soap powder. The description is [approximately matching the colours etc. of the Geotectonics book] "The front of the box depicts a young, pretty mother gazing with shining eyes at a toddler in mud-bespattered clothes. This charming duet is silhouetted against a golden sunset, the presence of some further jungly island intimated above their heads in tasteful chiaroscuro. Disappointingly, the box seems to be empty." After examining the box of soap powder for the first time, say "You wonder who thought this belonged in a fridge." Instead of opening or closing the box of soap powder, say "Someone has permanently opened it by popping the tab in the side." Instead of inserting into the box of soap powder, say "You can hardly fit anything in that." Lyssa's room is a room in Scummett block with printed name "Lyssa's room, Scummett block". It is north of the east corridor. "This is Lyssa Frey-Parkin's bedroom, which looks onto the corridor to the south. Every last inch of the wall, including the faux-cork region intended to serve as a notice board, is plastered with posters: she hasn't tackled the ceiling yet, but it can't be far off. Incense sticks and bras are strewn across the floor. A bedside table stands, as one might expect, next to Lyssa's bed.[if unvisited][line break][line break]Lyssa looks up as you enter. 'Good night, was it?'" Things can be Lyssa-owned. After going to Lyssa's room for the first time: change Lyssa to mobile; continue the action. A bedside table is here. It is scenery and a supporter. Understand "nightstand" as the table. The description is "Some kind of cheap self-assembly tat. Lyssa has put tacky skull and cobweb stickers on it." Some bras are here. They are scenery and Lyssa-owned. Understand "bra", "brassiere", "brassieres" as the bras. The description is "[if Lyssa is in Lyssa's room]Under Lyssa's daunting gaze, you are careful to examine anything but those.[otherwise]You feel a curious sense of envy.[end if]" Instead of taking the bras, say "Tidying Lyssa's room isn't your job." Some posters are here. They are scenery and Lyssa-owned. Understand "poster" as the posters. The description is "Rock stars, Gothic icons, and post-modern films." Instead of taking the posters, say "They're stapled to the wall." Some incense sticks are here. They are scenery and Lyssa-owned. Understand "stick" as the incense sticks. The description is "Vile hippy muck. Why can't they make incense that smells good?" Instead of smelling the incense sticks, say "More like sandals than sandalwood." Instead of taking the incense sticks, say "Tidying Lyssa's room isn't your job." A pair of sunglasses is on the table. It is Lyssa-owned and wearable. The pair of sunglasses can be broken. Understand "glasses", "shades", "sun glasses", "frame" as the sunglasses. The description is "[if the sunglasses are broken]With both lenses broken out, the sunglasses have been reduced to a worthless frame.[otherwise]The tinted lenses are made of cheap, brittle plastic.[end if]" A lens is a thing. It is coinlike. [Not Lyssa-owned; assume she wouldn't recognise it.] The description is "The remaining lens gazes reproachfully at you, but you feel heartened to know that its scratched twin is now aiding humanity as part of a polarimeter. Whatever that is." Instead of inserting the lens into the sunglasses, say "It won't stay in." A pair of handcuffs is a thing. It is Lyssa-owned. [Can't use standard locking on a non-container.] Understand "cuffs" as the handcuffs. The description is "The usual pair of metal rings connected by a short chain." Instead of putting the handcuffs on a person (called x), say "But [if x is the player]you haven't[else if x is plural-named]they haven't[else if x is male]he hasn't[else]she hasn't[end if] done anything, officer!" Instead of wearing the handcuffs, try putting the handcuffs on yourself. Instead of locking the handcuffs with something, say "You don't have to lock them. They snap shut on their own." Instead of unlocking the handcuffs with something, [other than the silver key; see below] say "How would you unlock a pair of handcuffs with that?" Instead of unlocking the handcuffs with the silver key: if the handcuffs are part of Mark begin; say "Using Lyssa's key, you free Mark from the handcuffs.[line break]'That was a pretty good idea, though,' you tell him. 'Do you want to try it again when we stage the actual protest?'[line break]Mark proposes that you wear the sodding handcuffs next time."; move the handcuffs to the player; if Lyssa is in the east square and Lyssa is immobile [see comments in endgame setup] begin; change Mark to immobile; move Mark to the east square; say "[line break]Mark goes east."; [we know he was in the west square!] else; change Mark to mobile; [still got somebody else to recruit in this case] end if; else; say "They aren't locked."; end if. Lyssa's bed is here. It is scenery and a supporter. The description is "The standard rickety construction, topped with pillows, sheets and a blanket." After examining Lyssa's bed for the first time: say "You raise your eyebrows on noticing a pair of handcuffs under the bed."; move the handcuffs to the location; the player thinks about handcuffs in eight turns from now. At the time when the player thinks about handcuffs: if the player is not in Lyssa's room [wait until we've left her room to say this line] begin; say "You can't stop thinking about Lyssa and handcuffs."; else; the player thinks about handcuffs in four turns from now; end if. Instead of entering Lyssa's bed, reject entering. Some bedclothes are on Lyssa's bed. They are scenery and Lyssa-owned. Understand "pillow", "pillows", "sheet", "sheets", "blanket" as the bedclothes. [see bed descrip.] Instead of taking the bedclothes, say "Lyssa would probably appreciate her bedclothes remaining on the bed." Lyssa's coat is a thing. [It's not Lyssa-owned, because she shouldn't nag you about it.] It is wearable. The description is "The coat is very long and very black, and the pockets are studded with little bits of metal. It's not exactly your style, but evidently Lyssa knows what she likes." After wearing the coat for the first time: say "It fits beautifully. You are unable to resist a little twirl, the coat billowing batlike around you.[line break][line break]You feel warmer almost immediately."; now the player is not drenched. The pockets are a thing. Understand "pocket" as the pockets. They are part of Lyssa's coat. The description is "Deep, dark gulches of satiny Gothdom." After examining the pockets for the first time: say "Your exploring fingers close around a loose item and draw it out. It's a little silver key."; move the silver key to the player. Instead of inserting into the pockets, say "If you put anything in there, you're not sure you'd ever find it again." A silver key is a thing. It is Lyssa-owned. Understand "little" as the key. The description is "The little silver key you found in Lyssa's coat pocket has a flat hexagonal head and a serrated shaft." After examining the key for the first time: say "(Fancy that: a key! You never get those in adventure games, do you? Gee, I wonder if it will unlock a [italic type]door[roman type], or a [italic type]chest[roman type]. Perhaps there's a [italic type]goblin[roman type] behind the door, or some [italic type]gold[roman type] in the chest. I can't wait to find out.)" Lyssa is a woman. She is here. She is immobile. Lyssa can be recruit-ready. Lyssa can be kiss-ready. [endgame flags] Understand "frey", "parkin", "frey-parkin", "goth" as Lyssa. The description is "Lyssa Frey-Parkin is a waiflike girl with long dark hair and Gothic tendencies. By day, she jogs around campus and studies Reactionary Politics in the School of History and Philosophy. By night, she attends outrageous clubs in black lipstick and shiny scraps of PVC. Secretly, you think she's pretty cute." Instead of kissing Lyssa: if Lyssa is kiss-ready begin; say "Yes! You lean forward and kiss Lyssa passionately on the lips.[line break]'Oooh,' she says. 'I was starting to hope you might do that.'[line break]'There's a bit of space at the bar now,' you point out. 'Can I get you a drink?'[line break]'No,' says Lyssa, 'because we both know you don't have any money. I'll buy [italic type]you[roman type] one [emdash] oh, and consider me a part of your protest.'[line break]Somebody just got herself another kiss.[line break][line break]'You know, speaking of the price of drinks, it's a pity none of us has a birthday coming up,' Lyssa remarks. 'They're doing a promotion at the moment where you can get free drinks all night on your birthday.'[line break]You [if the player has the fake identity card]pull out your fake ID card and [end if]try to recall exactly which buttons you saw on the Nerd's printer.[line break]'Quick [emdash] find Mark and meet me at the photo machine. I'll explain later.'[line break][line break]It's going to be one hell of a birthday party...[line break][line break][line break]"; now Lyssa is recruited; wait for any key; show the recruitment status; [final score readout] end the game in victory; else; say "Lyssa laughs and pushes you aside. 'Whoa, easy, tiger.'"; end if. Instead of recruiting Lyssa: if Lyssa is recruit-ready begin; say "'Oh, I don't want to talk about it now. Why don't we dance?' she suggests impishly.[line break]There's barely room to move anywhere in the JCR, let alone on the minuscule dancefloor, but you and Lyssa make the best of it by jiggling your shoulders and swaying on the spot.[line break]'Hey, haven't you exceeded your daily Goth quota of smiling by now?' you ask.[line break]Lyssa's smile widens."; now Lyssa is kiss-ready; [leave her recruit-ready too, in case they try this twice] else; say "You tell Lyssa about your plans for a grant protest. She tells you that you are a slave to the capitalist paradigm and thus, ideologically speaking, no better than the plutocrats you deplore.[line break][line break]Your head hurts."; end if. Instead of talking to Lyssa: if the player is not wearing trousers begin; say "'Looks like you had fun last night,' says Lyssa.[line break]'What do you mean?' you ask.[line break]'Well [emdash] it might be an idea to get some trousers on,' she smirks."; else if the player is drenched and coat_ever_held is false; say "'Are you cold? Poor sweetie,' says Lyssa. 'You can borrow this for a bit.'[line break]She takes off her coat and hands it to you.[line break]You glow inside."; move Lyssa's coat to the player; change coat_ever_held to true; change Lyssa to mobile; [since you have acquired the coat and no longer need her here.] else if Lyssa is in the east square and Lyssa is immobile; [pre-JCR endgame] if Mark is in the east square and Mark is immobile begin; say "'JCR time!' Mark whoops.[line break]The JCR's doors are now open, and students are beginning to flock inside for an evening of cut-price drinks, loud music, and (facilitated by both of these) terrible dancing.[line break]'I agree,' says Lyssa. 'Are you coming, Rick?'"; else; [you need to free Mark before you can go into the JCR] say "'Rick,' says Lyssa, 'why is Mark chained to the statue? He seems to think it's your fault.'[line break]'It's not my fault! I mean, he chained himself there. I was only peripherally involved.'[line break]'Well, can you free him somehow? The JCR's going to open soon, and I thought we were all going together.'[line break][line break]She's right: it just wouldn't be the JCR without Mark."; end if; else if Lyssa is in the JCR; [final endgame] say "'I hear you've had a busy afternoon,' Lyssa shouts over the music, 'what with setting up protests, chaining friends to statues, fixing our smoke alarm... Bonnie told me you were helping her with the arts section of Dross.'[line break]'Yes,' you shout back. 'It's been quite a strange day.'[line break]'Well, I have to say, Rick, I'm impressed. You're not the slacker I thought you were. In fact, I'm considering joining your protest [emdash] you know, just to come along and support you as a friend.'[line break]Is that a sparkle of admiration in Lyssa's usually cynical eye?"; now Lyssa is recruit-ready; [doesn't matter if we do this more than once] else; say "'Hi,' you say.[line break]'Hey,' Lyssa smiles."; end if. Instead of giving a Lyssa-owned thing (called x) to Lyssa, say "That wouldn't be wise, considering that you took [if x is plural-named]them[else]it[end if] without permission." Instead of giving Lyssa's coat to Lyssa, say "'Oh, hold onto it for now,' says Lyssa. 'It suits you, you know!'[line break][line break]You aren't convinced, but you're not about to spurn a compliment from Lyssa." Instead of giving the ring to Lyssa, say "'Will you marry me?' you ask.[line break]Lyssa laughs. 'Wow, Rick, a ring like that must have cost you an hour's salary.'" [Lyssa is the last "object" in the room because, otherwise, her complaints about things declared below her would have the wrong priority relative to other "Insteads".] Instead of doing anything other than dropping, examining, listening to, giving or taking off with a Lyssa-owned thing in Lyssa's room in the presence of Lyssa, say "[one of]'Stop messing with my stuff!' Lyssa exclaims.[or]'Oi!' Lyssa glares at you. 'Hands off!'[or]'Leave my things alone!'[at random]". The Nerd's room is a room in Scummett block with printed name "The Nerd's room, Scummett block". It is south of the east corridor. "At first glance, the Nerd's room is a Tolkienesque fantasy in microcosm. The walls, rendered rough and cavernlike by layers of painted papier-mâché, boast a dizzying selection of swords, torches, and other plastic props, but the otherwise striking effect is belied somewhat by the humming computer hardware stacked on the bed. The door, or rather the cavemouth, is north." Understand "cavemouth" as the universal_door when the player is in the Nerd's room. The Nerd is a man with indefinite article "the". He is here and immobile. [Allowing him *ever* to wander the map would be out of character.] The description is "The Nerd's nervous face is a pallid white, bordering on green, all the paler in contrast to his tight black T-shirt (which, for no reason you can fathom, bears the slogan 'So much for the overflow'). His eyes dart continually in all directions in a frantic attempt to avoid eye contact even with inanimate objects[if the Nerd is in the School of Computing], but always return to settle on the screen before him with its myriad of buttons, windows, and command prompts[end if]." Instead of talking to the Nerd, say "Though quite capable of chatting to six people at once online, the Nerd has no fondness for vocal communication. Your attempts to strike up a conversation go ignored." Instead of recruiting the Nerd: say "'Care to join a protest to get student grants back?'[line break]'I-I can't go out in public,' the wretched thing stammers. 'It gives me a rash. And I h-have enough money, anyway.'[line break]'You do, eh? I'll bet it's a nice little earner, printing fake ID cards.'[line break]'Who told[emdash]? You can't prove anything,' the Nerd gulps hastily.[line break]'How do you think I got in here?' you ask, waving your home-made ID card. 'Now, what about supporting my protest? Just bring a few friends and march up and down with us, and nobody need hear anything about any card-faking rumours.'[line break]The Nerd sighs an acne-ridden sigh. 'F-fine. Now leave me alone.'"; now the Nerd is recruited. Instead of kissing the Nerd, say "Nobody will [italic type]ever[roman type] kiss the Nerd." The Nerd's bed is here. It is scenery and a supporter. The description is "It's covered in computers. Where does he sleep?!" Instead of entering the Nerd's bed, reject entering. A wall is here. It is a backdrop. Understand "walls", "painted", "papier", "mache", "papier-mache" as the wall. The description is "The Nerd's papier-mâché wall, built from a few hundred shredded back issues of [italic type]Linux Zealot[roman type] and hardened to concrete solidity, is quite a feat of engineering." Instead of attacking or pulling or pushing the wall, say "You pound on the wall experimentally. It's rock-solid." Some props are here. They are scenery. Understand "plastic", "sword", "swords", "torch", "torches" as the props. The description is "You get the impression somebody's been playing too much Dungeons and Dragons." Instead of taking the props, say "The Nerd's fantasy props are firmly attached to the wall." Some computers are here. They are scenery. Understand "humming", "computer", "hardware", "flickering", "drive", "lights" as the computers. The description is "The Nerd's computers are ablaze with digital activity. One of them appears to be scanning the Internet for new episodes of [italic type]Xena: Warrior Princess[roman type]. Another is using an ingenious script to rack up absurd amounts of money on an online poker site. Rapidly flickering drive lights suggest that even more processing is going on behind the scenes. Beneath the computers squats a large printer of some description." Instead of taking, switching on, switching off, pulling or pushing the computers, say "This stuff looks expensive. You're not inclined to mess with it." After examining the computers for the first time, move the printer to the location. The large printer is a thing. It is fixed in place. [not here until you examine the computers] Understand "laminator" as the printer. The description is "Judging by the various parts of this elaborate piece of kit, it's a combined laminator and printer.[if the identity card has not been in the Nerd's room] But what are you supposed to put in it?" Instead of taking, switching on, switching off, pulling or pushing the printer, say "This stuff looks expensive. You're not inclined to mess with it." Instead of inserting into the printer, say "That doesn't fit." Instead of inserting the photograph into the printer: say "Now there's an idea. You slide your hard-earned likeness into the printer, which gobbles it hungrily. After a few moments of cacophonous rumination, the machine ejects a little white card. Then there is silence."; remove the photograph from play; move the identity card to the location. The fake identity card is a thing. Understand "little", "white", "id", "barcode" as the fake identity card. The description is "Your recent photograph, accompanied by the unlikely name of 'Jeroboam Hagfish' and the even less likely birthday of 0 March 1983, graces the little white card. Underneath that is a sort of barcode which ought to be accepted by the electronic door to the School of Computing.[line break][line break]You suspect that a significant fraction of the Nerd's obvious wealth comes from this card-faking operation." Section 2 - Fire escape Outdoors is a region. The fire escape is a region in the outdoors. The fire_escape_steps are a backdrop with printed name "spiral steps". They are in the Fire escape. [region: two rooms] Understand "spiral", "steps", "step", "stair", "stairs", "fire", "escape", "fire escape", "red", "paint", "tread", "treads" as the fire_escape_steps. The description is "Most of the red paint has worn off the treads, leaving bare metal. Students unlucky enough to be allocated rooms near the fire escape are often woken by the clatter of late arrivals from the bar." Instead of climbing the fire_escape_steps, try going up. The top of the fire escape is a room in the fire escape with printed name "Fire escape, top". It is west of the west corridor. "You stand atop the rather bleak metal fire escape that connects Scummett block with its eternal rival, Hovelsworth block. These grudging Siamese twins are conjoined along the east-west axis. The spiral steps that lead down from here are littered with empty glasses and underwear from last night's party.[if unvisited][line break][line break]You find yourself briefly wondering who Jessica was, whether she enjoyed her twenty-first birthday, and how much her head hurts relative to your own.[end if]" Instead of listening to the top of the fire escape when the amateur indie band is in the Hovelsworth kitchen, say "Some highly discordant music is emanating from Hovelsworth block." Some underwear is here. It is scenery. Understand "undies", "knickers", "lingerie", "cobweb" [see below] as the underwear. The description is "There can be few more romantic spots to lose one's virginity than the celestial heights of a fire escape. An ironically-minded spider has constructed a tiny, dew-laden cobweb on one cast-off piece of lingerie." Instead of doing anything other than examining or listening to with the underwear, say "Yuck." Some empty glasses are here. They are scenery. Understand "glass" as the empty glasses. [note: Lyssa's sunglasses can also be "glasses"] Instead of doing anything [even examining] with the empty glasses, say "You're in no frame of mind to start the cleanup operation." The bottom of the fire escape is a room in the fire escape with printed name "Fire escape, bottom". It is below the top of the fire escape. "You are at the bottom of the fire escape, with steps leading up to the two halls of residence. Beer cans glint invitingly from patches of scrubby grass. A well-worn dirt track meanders south to the centre of the university campus.[if unvisited][line break][line break]It's a sunny day, the kind that makes you feel glad to be half-awake.[end if]" [^ This leads up to other weather effects, e.g. when entering Dean's Walk] Instead of smelling the bottom of the fire escape when the van is visible, try smelling the van. Some beer cans are here. They are scenery. Understand "can", "patches", "patch", "of", "scrubby", "grass" as the beer cans. The description is "Your drunken head swirls unpleasantly with vague memories." After examining the beer cans for the first time: say "Among the rubbish you notice a metal skewer."; move the skewer to the location. Instead of taking the cans, say "Full marks for caring about the environment, but the very thought of beer is making you ill." A van is here with printed name "kebab van". The indefinite article is "the". [^ This avoids parser confusion with the "kebab".] It is fixed in place. Understand "counter", "kebab van" as the van. The description is "This is the notorious kebab van, whose steady profits are assured by its relative proximity to the Union bar. The van is gaudily painted with the now faded words 'Sam & Emma's Fast Food Delights', which [emdash] as an astute biologist of your acquaintance once noted [emdash] [italic type]almost[roman type] rhymes with Salmonella gastroenteritis, the chicken kebab lover's bacterial infection of choice.[line break][line break]Sam glances hopefully out at you from the confines of the van. Sam owns the van and cooks up the kebabs; it is rumoured that Emma was diced and skewered during less profitable times." Instead of entering the van, say "The prospect of serving behind that grimy counter repels you even more than the idea of work in general." Instead of inserting into the van, say "Sam shoos you away from the counter." Instead of smelling the van, [also when you smell at the bottom of the fire escape generally] say "An odorous lethargy of meat and grease drifts from the kebab van." Sam is a man. He is immobile and part of the van. Understand "man", "owner", "seller", "vendor" as Sam. The description is "Sam is a scruffy, ill-shaven character of Mediterranean extraction, possibly forcible. He might not be a good advertisement for his wares, but he's a pretty [italic type]accurate[roman type] one." Instead of kissing Sam, say "Ugh!" Instead of talking to Sam: if kebab_ever_held is true begin; say "You thank Sam for the free kebab."; otherwise; say "'You wanna kebab?' Sam enquires.[line break]You hold up your empty wallet.[line break]'Ah, but you are a regular customer, no?' says the charitable kebab-seller. 'Here, I give you something.'[line break][line break]Sam carves five slices from the rotating loaf of flesh and deftly assembles a super jumbo kebab (presumably the kind with real elephant pieces). He thrusts the dubious item into your hands, warm as life."; now the player has the kebab; change kebab_ever_held to true; end if. The kebab is a thing. Understand "greasy", "sheet", "paper", "slimy", "vegetables", "slice", "slices", "lamb" as the kebab. The description is "A congealed morass of slimy vegetables and a few slices of lamb are mercifully hidden from view in a greasy sheet of paper. A red chilli pepper nestles atop the monstrosity with an air of malevolent pride." Instead of smelling the kebab, say "It smells a bit like a Sunday roast, but less wholesome." Instead of eating the kebab: say "The kebab doesn't look very appealing, but your stomach has been rumbling for hours, so you gobble it down [emdash] taking care to eat [italic type]around[roman type] the menacing chilli pepper [emdash] and dispose of the greasy paper. Without the traditional apéritif of six pints of lager, Sam's Mediterranean cuisine definitely leaves something to be desired. Something like a bucket.[line break][line break]You wonder what to do with that chilli pepper."; remove the kebab from play; move the chilli pepper to the player; [^ This "move" is not ideal, but we need to stop it being part of the kebab.] the player belches in five turns from now. At the time when the player belches: say "You let out a reverberating belch. It is strongly redolent of kebab." Instead of giving the kebab to Sam, say "'What'sa matter?' Sam asks. 'You wanna chilli sauce?'[line break][line break]You hastily snatch back the kebab before he can make it completely inedible." Instead of giving the chilli to Sam, say "Sam doesn't want your leftovers." The red chilli pepper is a thing. It is part of the kebab. Understand "chili", "chile", "jalapeno" as the chilli. The description is "It's a jalapeño. It wants to kill you." Instead of taking the chilli when the player has the kebab, say "Don't play with your food." [We don't need a response for *eating* it, since that action tries and fails to *take* it first.] Instead of taking the chilli when the kebab is in the location and player does not have the kebab: say "(first taking the kebab)"; try taking the kebab; try taking the chilli. Instead of eating the chilli, say "No way. One of your mottos is that it's better to regret something you [italic type]haven't[roman type] eaten." The metal skewer is a thing. The description is "This must have fallen out of somebody's kebab. It's slightly greasy and resembles an oversized knitting needle." Instead of giving the skewer to Sam, say "Sam cheerfully waves it away. 'Is no need. I have many.'" Section 3 - Hovelsworth block Hovelsworth block is a region. The Hovelsworth kitchen is a room in Hovelsworth block with printed name "Kitchen, Hovelsworth block". It is west of the top of the fire escape. "This is the kitchen of Hovelsworth block [emdash] and you thought the Scummett kitchen was a mess. Even the appliances here are buried beneath heaps of oily crockery, the top layer of which the cleaners noisily throw away every week. The furry, emerald-green horrors that lurk below the first inch of rubble put you in mind of a desecrated Sesame Street graveyard. Daylight spills in from the east, and you glimpse some student bedrooms to the west.[if the amateur indie band is in the Hovelsworth kitchen][line break][line break]Jammed into a corner, the three members of an amateur indie band are making an awful racket.[end if]" Instead of smelling Hovelsworth kitchen, say "You wish fervently that, like the dog in the joke, you had no nose." Instead of listening to Hovelsworth kitchen when the band is visible, try listening to the band. Instead of going west in the Hovelsworth kitchen, say "You don't know anybody in Hovelsworth block. Considering their rivalry with the Scummett contingent, you don't suppose you'd be welcome in there." Heaps of oily crockery are here. They are scenery. Understand "heap", "dish", "dishes", "plate", "plates" as the oily crockery. The description is "It looks to you as though the only way this kitchen will ever be cleaned up is with the use of a forklift truck." Instead of smelling the oily crockery, say "You're not about to inhale near that biohazard." Instead of doing anything other than examining or listening to with the oily crockery, say "You're not touching that biohazard." An amateur indie band is a man. It is here and immobile. It is scenery. The indie band can be initially-talked-to. The indie band can be player-managed. Understand "bassist", "drummer", "singer", "members" as the band. The description is "The band comprises a singer, a bassist, and a drummer. They seem persistent enough and hopeful enough to succeed in the fickle indie world." Instead of listening to the band, say ["listen" in the Hovelsworth kitchen also calls this] "The band are producing quite a cacophony, especially the drummer. On the bright side, he is largely drowning out whatever terrible lyrics are forcing their nasal way out of the singer." Instead of recruiting the band, say "'Guys,' you cajole, 'how about joining my protest to bring back student grants?'[line break]'Sounds like hard work,' the bassist mumbles.[line break]'Especially when we have so much practising to do,' says the singer.[line break]The drummer merely grunts and scratches his backside with one unfortunate drumstick." Instead of talking to the band when the band is not player-managed: if the band is not initially-talked-to begin; say "'So what do you call yourselves?' you ask.[line break]'The Free Bread Principle,' says the bassist.[line break]'Suicide Bitch,' interrupts the drummer, who privately strikes you as the wrong kind of person to be in an indie band.[line break]'I thought we'd settled on Henry's Anguish,' says the singer in surprise. 'Well, we haven't decided yet.'"; now the band is initially-talked-to; otherwise; [having had the initial chat above, but not the one that follows] say "Sensing opportunity a mile off, you assume your best music-biz voice. 'Listen to me, lads: what you need is a manager.'[line break]'Yes [emdash] but who?' asks the singer.[line break]'Well,' you lie, 'I myself have some band management experience.'[line break]'So you'll manage us, right?' asks the bassist.[line break]'Yeah!' the drummer enthuses. 'That would be way cool.'[line break]'Of course,' you smarm. 'I'm always happy to get involved with fresh talent.'"; now the band is player-managed; end if. Instead of talking to the band when the band is player-managed, say "'What do we do next?' asks the singer.[line break]'Just keep practising,' you reply." Instead of recording the band with the dictaphone when the band is not player-managed: say "'Hey!' the singer protests. 'You can't just come in here and record us. This is copywritten material.'[line break][line break]You're surprised they could afford a copywriter." Instead of recording the band with the dictaphone when the band is player-managed: if band_recorded is true begin; say "You've already made one decent recording, and in all honesty you don't want to sit through that song again."; else; say "'Are we ready to record a single?' you ask.[line break]'Yes, but only onto vinyl,' says the pretentious singer.[line break]'Shut up!' you exclaim instinctively, and are glad to realise that you haven't just lost your managerial position because the drummer said it more loudly at the same time.[line break]The band duly thumps and wails through a two-minute track, which you capture on the dictaphone."; now band_recorded is true; [Bonnie, who had fled when you chillified her coffee, now returns.] move Bonnie to the newspaper office; end if. Section 4 - University Square University Square is a region in the outdoors. The west square is a room in University Square with printed name "University Square, west". It is south of the bottom of the fire escape. "You stand on the west side of University Square, the social and administrative hub of the University of Greater Dossing. A statue overlooks the path that leads north to the halls of residence, while the sweeping curve of Dean's Walk can be seen in diminishing perspective to the south. It is also possible to cross to the east side of the square." A statue is here. It is scenery. The description is "The statue is a weatherbeaten depiction of one of the university's founders. This worthy personage inclines in an attitude of blissful repose above the university motto, 'Nihil agere delectat'." ["It is pleasant to do nothing."] Instead of climbing the statue, say "You've done that before, and no good came of it." The east square is a room in University Square with printed name "University Square, east". It is east of the west square. "The eastern side of University Square is overshadowed by buildings whose ill-conceived extensions and encroachments have nibbled the square into something of a pixellated pentagon. The familiar buildings to the north, east, and south are the Union bar, the JCR, and the offices of the student newspaper. The square stretches westward like a squashed concrete butterfly." Instead of going to the JCR from the east square: if Lyssa is in the east square and Lyssa is immobile and Mark is in the east square and Mark is immobile [i.e. they're both waiting for you, and only Lyssa remains to be recruited in the JCR] begin; continue the action; otherwise; say "[if inited_endgame is false]Since it's not evening yet, the JCR (or Junior Common Room) is closed. At dusk, it will transform into a pounding miasma of alcohol, dancing, and sweaty 'student bodies'.[else]The JCR is still closed, but it should be opening soon. You should probably work out how to get Mark out of those handcuffs.[end if]"; end if. The last report going rule: [so it comes *after* the room description] if going to the east square begin; if Lyssa is in the east square and Lyssa is immobile and Mark is in the east square and Mark is immobile begin; try talking to Mark; [^ so Mark and Lyssa encourage you to enter JCR even if you don't talk to them] end if; end if. The jcr_scenery is scenery with printed name "JCR". It is here. Understand "JCR" as the jcr_scenery. [Note: This is only here because they are likely to examine it, esp if the abbreviation is unfamiliar.] The description is [based on the text above when you try to go east, whether open or not] "The JCR (or Junior Common Room) is a pounding miasma of alcohol, dancing, and sweaty 'student bodies' [emdash] when it's open, that is." Instead of entering the jcr_scenery, try going east. Some buildings are here. They are scenery. Understand "building", "extension", "extensions", "encroachment", "encroachments" as the buildings. The description is "Supposedly, some of the buildings on campus have won awards. Nobody has told you which specific awards, but you imagine such accolades as 'best use of fourteen shades of grey' and 'most industrial-looking non-industrial structure'." Instead of entering the buildings, say "Well, which way do you want to go?" A FotoMeKwik machine is here. Understand "foto", "kwik", "foto me kwik", "credit", "display" as the FotoMeKwik machine. It is fixed in place. It has a number called the credit. The credit is 0. [Note that the credit can be 0 after you have obtained the photo, as well as beforehand.] The description is "The FotoMeKwik machine targets new arrivals who need a last-minute photo for their student ID cards. For this reason, it can afford to charge the exorbitant price of four pounds.[line break][line break]The credit display next to the coin slot shows £[the credit of the machine]." After examining the machine for the first time: if the credit of the machine is 0 and photo_ever_held is false, say "The sum of four pounds feels as inaccessible to you as the Moon." Instead of inserting something (called item) into the machine, try inserting item into the coin slot. The coin slot is part of the FotoMeKwik machine. The description is "It's a vertical slot for coins, slightly wider than necessary." [a hint that non-coins might work] Instead of inserting something that is not coinlike into the coin slot, say "That doesn't fit in the coin slot." Instead of inserting a coinlike thing (called item) into the coin slot: remove item from play; increase the credit of the machine by one; say "You wedge [the item] into the slot. It falls with a satisfying clunk, and the credit display rolls over to £[the credit of the machine]."; if the credit of the machine is 4, produce a photograph. To produce a photograph: say "[line break]The FotoMeKwik machine emits a bright flash and spews out a glossy photograph."; move the photograph to the location; change photo_ever_held to true; change the credit of the machine to 0. Your photograph is a thing. Understand "blurry", "photo", "picture", "pic", "glossy" as your photograph. The description is "A blurry picture of you in University Square. Was it worth four pounds? You like to think so." The JCR is a room in University Square with printed name "JCR, University Square". It is east of the east square. "The Junior Common Room is no place for the claustrophobic. Sporadically illuminated by flashing coloured lights and a glittering mirror-ball on the ceiling, it is already jam-packed with students, and every minute or two another group filters into the heaving crowd. The music is sufficiently loud to make conversation possible only in raised voices. The way out is west.[if unvisited][line break][line break]'I'm going to the bar,' Mark announces. 'Wish me luck!'[line break]He jostles his way into the crowd, while you and Lyssa squeeze into a nook beside a pillar.[end if]" After going to the JCR: [which you can only ever do once, successfully anyhow] let permissible be { wallet, trousers, fake identity card, sunglasses, coat }; let confiscatable be the list of things held by the player; remove { wallet, trousers, fake identity card, sunglasses, coat } from confiscatable; repeat with x running through confiscatable begin; remove x from play; end repeat; [Confiscated items could be "nothing" but will more probably be handcuffs, alcopop, etc. This is just to prevent the player from being distracted by needless objects in the endgame.] say "You follow Mark and Lyssa into the JCR.[line break][line break]'Hoi! Just a minute,' says the JCR's bouncer, an enormous fellow whose width-to-height ratio would be more at home on an expensive plasma television. 'What have you got there?'[line break]The bouncer goes through your possessions [if the number of entries of confiscatable is greater than 0]and confiscates [confiscatable with definite articles][else]but finds nothing to confiscate[end if].[line break]'Right, in you go[if the number of entries of confiscatable is greater than 0]. You can collect this stuff on the way out[end if].'"; move Lyssa to the JCR; remove Mark from play; [since he'll say he's going to the bar at the end of the room description] wait for any key; [because it seems easy not to notice the bouncer's paragraph otherwise] continue the action. Instead of going [anywhere] in the JCR [except for the special case below], say "You don't want to lose Mark and Lyssa in the crowd, and there's definitely no chance of getting to the bar at the moment." Instead of going to the east square from the JCR, say "You can't leave so early! The night is young." Instead of smelling the JCR, say "It's getting unpleasantly sweaty in here." Instead of listening to the JCR, say "'Boom tish [italic type]bop[roman type] tish boom tish [italic type]bop[roman type] tish.'" Some flashing coloured lights are here. They are scenery. Understand "colored", "light" as the coloured lights. The description is "You haven't seen vomit until you've seen it under a quintet of stroboscopic lamps." A glittering mirror-ball is here. It is scenery. Understand "mirrorball", "mirror", "ball" as the mirror-ball. The description is "Hypnotic." The crowd is here. It is people, scenery, and immobile. Understand "student", "students" as the crowd. The description is "Shiny happy people. Those few who are not dancing frenetically are swigging at their drinks in preparation to do so." Instead of recruiting or talking to the crowd, say "You are unable to make yourself heard." The Union bar is a room in University Square with printed name "Union bar, University Square". It is north of the east square. "The Union bar is a place of smoky gloom, its walls a crimson haze and its brass and wicker trinkets shrouded in cancerous mist. The bawdy chattering of a dozen or so drinkers, some of them clustered around a TV set, intermingles with the cheesy eighties pop that thumps from the jukebox. A sturdy wooden door, with a slightly insincere charm that suggests it was delivered in a box marked 'Ye Olde Taverne Doore', stands open to the south. Flies dance merrily on the ceiling." Instead of smelling the Union bar, say "Cigarette smoke blended with a musty, beery aroma." Instead of listening to the Union bar, try listening to the jukebox. Some drinkers are here. They are people, scenery, and immobile. Understand "drinker" as the drinkers. The description is "Alas, poor fools! Only yesterday you blindly indulged in the same sodden vice, but you have learned the grievous error of your ways." Instead of talking to the drinkers, say "You catch the eye of one of the drinkers, who lurches across and starts to slur something about [one of]a girl called Sally[or]immigrant workers and where they should go back to[or]the quality of the gin here[or]a recurring dream he has about Ronald Reagan[at random]. You [one of]swiftly disengage[or]lose interest after two seconds[or]nod and make agreeing noises until he goes away[at random]." Some flies are here. They are scenery. Understand "fly" as the flies. The description is "Four or five flies buzz overhead in the cigarette smoke, one diving down every few minutes to land on the rim of a glass before being shooed away by the drinker." Instead of taking the flies, say "Why? Planning to make some scones?" [obscure reference to Teacher Feature, where dead flies are given to the cook as "raisins"] A jukebox is here. It is scenery. Understand "juke", "box" as the jukebox. The description is "Six feet of gaudy neon, the jukebox offers a cornucopia of dated pop songs." Instead of pulling or pushing the jukebox, say "It won't budge." Instead of inserting into the jukebox, say "Even if you had money, this would be no place to squander it!" Instead of switching on the jukebox, say "It is already on." Instead of switching off the jukebox, say "Regrettably, you can't see any way of doing that." Instead of listening to the jukebox, say "Cheesy eighties pop, like I told you before." Some trinkets are here. They are scenery. Understand "brass", "wicker", "trinket" as the trinkets. The description is "Brewing equipment? Agricultural implements? We may never know." Instead of taking the trinkets, say "You amass a lot of junk on your travels around campus, admittedly, but you draw the line at anything specifically [italic type]designed[roman type] to be junk." A TV set is here. It is scenery. Understand "television", "telly", "aerial", "slot" as the TV set. The TV set can be fixed. The TV set is not fixed. The description is "None of the current crop of students remembers whence this antique was dredged up. It's a ten-inch black-and-white set[if the TV set is fixed] with a skewer wedged into it as a makeshift aerial[otherwise], due for retirement in a few months when the analogue broadcasts are finally phased out in favour of digital[end if].[line break][line break][if the TV set is fixed]The TV is showing some interminable football match, to the apparent enthralment of the afternoon drinkers.[otherwise]The TV doesn't seem to be working. Impatient drinkers are thumping it and prodding at the aerial slot." Instead of doing anything other than examining or listening to with the TV set when the TV set is fixed, say "You are shooed away from the TV set. It's working now, and nobody wants it to break again." Instead of switching on the TV set, say "You are shooed away from the TV set." Instead of switching off the TV set, say "You are shooed away from the TV set." Instead of inserting into the TV set, say "That doesn't fit in the aerial slot." Instead of inserting the skewer into the TV set: if the skewer is part of the TV set begin; say "It's already in there."; otherwise; say "You drop the skewer into the aerial slot and jiggle it about until the hissing snow on the screen resolves into a shadowy but recognisable football match. There is a chorus of cheers, and you bow graciously.[line break][line break]Somebody hands you a bottle."; now the skewer is part of the TV set; now the TV set is fixed; now the player has the alcopop; stop the action; end if. [^ Wayne's comments on this puzzle: "Any material works as an aerial, but certain shapes and materials are better for that particular wavelength, and some antennae are directional (you have to point them at the signal source), e.g. satellite dishes, while others just sort of pick up everything from around them (those spiky TV aerials). If you have the wrong aerial, you'll pick up loads of noise and very little TV signal."] The horrible alcopop is a thing. It is lit. Understand "fluorescent", "drink", "pop", "bottle", "label" as the alcopop. Rule for printing the name of the alcopop: say the printed name of the alcopop; omit contents in listing. [so it doesn't say "a fluorescent alcopop (providing light)"] The description is "The label on the slim bottle designates the drink as 'happenin[apostrophe] hyperberry' flavour, and you don't recognise any of the exotic chemicals in the ingredients list after water, sugar, and alcohol (6.4%). It's purplish-blue, with an unearthly fluorescent glow. Just looking at it makes your stomach heave." Instead of drinking the alcopop, say "You retch at the thought. You're never going to drink alcohol again [emdash] this time for at least a week." Instead of opening the alcopop, say "You have no bottle-opener." Instead of giving the alcopop to Lyssa, say "'That's disgusting,' Lyssa pronounces. 'It must be full of chemicals.'" Instead of giving the alcopop to Mark, say "'I don't drink that stuff!' Mark says scornfully. 'Alcopops are girl drink.'" The newspaper office is a room in University Square with printed name "Dross office, University Square". It is south of the east square. "You are in the front office of Dross, the student newspaper. A few despondent Arts types are bashing away at their keyboards around a volcano of discarded polystyrene cups. The air is rancid with spent coffee. University Square is north." Some journalists are a man. They are here, scenery and immobile. Understand "despondent", "arts", "types", "journalist", "journo", "journos", "keyboard", "keyboards" as the journalists. The description is "The journalists look caffeinated and nervous. Whether the two attributes are interrelated is unclear." Bonnie is a woman. She is here and immobile. Bonnie can be disc-given. Understand "editor" as Bonnie. The description is "Bonnie belongs to the School of Modern Languages and Linguistics. A rabbity girl with stringy blonde hair and a brisk efficiency that terrifies your slacker soul, she is a roving reporter whose nose for a discomfiting story eventually won her the editorship of Dross. It's a sharp nose, and the glances directed through the pair of glasses propped thereupon are generally disapproving." Instead of kissing Bonnie, say "Oh, you wouldn't dare!" Instead of recruiting Bonnie: say "'I'm really busy, Rick. The next issue is out in two days. Tell me about it later.'"; if Bonnie is disc-given begin; say "'I found you some music to review for Dross,' you persuade her. 'Can't you do me a little favour?'[line break]'All right,' says Bonnie. 'Shoot.'[line break]You tell her about the grant protest, and her face gradually lights up with excitement.[line break]'This is big news, Rick. You should have told me before. I'll definitely be there!'"; now Bonnie is recruited; end if. Instead of giving the ring to Bonnie, say "'Will you marry me?' you ask.[line break]'Stay out of my office for a week and I'll think about it,' Bonnie scowls." Instead of giving the dictaphone to Bonnie: if band_recorded is false [actually impossible here] or Bonnie is disc-given begin; say "'Ah, so that's where it got to!' Bonnie deposits the dictaphone on a convenient surface."; move the dictaphone to the location; else; say "'There's a hot new band on campus,' you tell Bonnie. 'They're tipped to be the next big thing. I've brought you their first single to review.'[line break]'Fantastic,' she replies. 'Er, hold on [emdash] their first single is on a dictaphone? That's not very professional.'[line break]'Can't you use it?' you ask, disappointed.[line break]'Nope. If they had a record out, then we'd be talking.'"; end if. Instead of giving the disc to Bonnie: say "'There's a hot new band on campus,' you tell Bonnie. 'They're tipped to be the next big thing. I've brought you their first single to review.'[line break]'Fantastic,' she replies. 'We've always got time to listen to a new CD.'[line break]'Actually, it's a DVD,' you admit. 'They, er, thought it would be more avant-garde. That's also the reason for the design: it's supposed to look like a blank disc. They didn't want an inlay or anything. Very experimental.'[line break]'Will it play in a computer?' Bonnie asks.[line break]'Yes, absolutely.'[line break]'Then we're golden. Thanks, Rick [emdash] I appreciate it.' She hands the disc to one of the journalists."; now Bonnie is disc-given; remove the disc from play. Instead of talking to Bonnie: [even if you've already given her the band CD] say "'I don't mean to be rude, Rick,' says Bonnie, who frequently does, 'but I'm too busy to chat at the moment [emdash] unless,' her voice acquires a barely perceptible tinge of sarcasm, 'you have something for the next issue.'[line break]'Maybe I have!' you say enticingly.[line break]'What have you got for us, then?' Bonnie sceptically holds out her hand." Instead of giving something (called x) to Bonnie: if x is an item listed in the Table of Headline Suggestions begin; say "'[one of]Newsflash[or]Exclusive[or]Extra! Extra[or]Read all about it[at random]! [the headline corresponding to an item of x in the Table of Headline Suggestions]'[line break][line break][one of]Bonnie rolls her eyes.[or]Bonnie sighs and shakes her head.[or]Bonnie unkindly suggests you find a non-journalistic hobby.[or]'Jesus Christ, Rick!' Bonnie actually stamps her foot. '[italic type]Proper[roman type] news; campus sports results; music to review. Find some, or get out.'[stopping]"; ["campus" sports results so you don't think of the pub football on TV] else; say "'That's not going to help me put together a newspaper,' says Bonnie."; end if. Table of Headline Suggestions Item Headline alcopop "Missing toxic waste tracked down to Union bar." battery "Student arrested, charged with battery." cheese "Gruesome fridge discovery triggers campus-wide food scare." chilli "Scientists detect fiery gases in Uranus." handcuffs "My kinky nights with pain princess." identity card "Campus rocked by wave of fake IDs." kebab "Confessions of a Grecian greasemonger." Lyssa's coat "Satanic orgies of university [apostrophe]Goths[apostrophe]." photograph "Police release first pictures of handsome heartbreaker." ring "Lost treasure recovered from campus fountain." skewer "Authorities seek insane [apostrophe]Kebab Stabber[apostrophe]." soap powder "Dean of Computing bemoans poor student hygiene." sunglasses "Is Elvis alive and well at Greater Dossing?" A volcano of discarded polystyrene cups is here. It is scenery. Understand "cup", "pile", "heap" as the discarded polystyrene cups. The description is "Wow. Journalists really get through a lot of coffee." Instead of taking the discarded polystyrene cups, say "You know better than that. Last time you picked up a cup in here, you were morally strong-armed into taking the whole pile to the recycler. It took eleven trips." Instead of climbing or entering the volcano of discarded polystyrene cups, say "That wouldn't impress anybody." Instead of inserting into the volcano of discarded polystyrene cups, say "Somebody coughs. 'That's not a rubbish dump, you know.'[line break]'It very clearly is!' you point out, rightly.[line break]'Well, it's not a municipal one. Staff only.'" Every turn when a random chance of 1 in 4 succeeds: if the player is in the the newspaper office and Bonnie is in the location and Bonnie's coffee is in the location begin; say "Bonnie takes a sip of her coffee[one of][or] and sets it down again[as decreasingly likely outcomes]."; [to suggest that you can tamper with it] end if. Bonnie's coffee is here. It is scenery. Understand "mug", "mug of coffee" as the coffee. The description is "Bonnie has a large mug of the life-giving fluid, on whose side is printed: 'You don't have to be a journalist to work here, but it helps!' You're not entirely sure whether the creator of such a mug should be permitted to live." Instead of drinking or taking Bonnie's coffee when Bonnie is in the location, say "'Don't even [italic type]think[roman type] about it,' Bonnie cautions you." Instead of inserting something (called x) into Bonnie's coffee: if x is the cheese or x is the soap powder or x is the alcopop begin; say "You don't want to poison the poor girl!"; else if x is the chilli; say "You wait until all of the journalists are intent on their screens; then, holding the chilli behind your back, you dig a fingernail into its pliant surface to release the capsaicin and quickly slip it into the depths of Bonnie's coffee. Considering the source (or sauce?) it's a good thing she isn't a vegetarian.[line break][line break]Bonnie takes a sip of her modified coffee, then looks at it curiously.[line break]'I think there's something wrong with thi[emdash]'[line break]She breaks off suddenly and runs gasping from the room in search of water."; remove the chilli from play; remove Bonnie from play; remove the coffee from play; else; say "It's not clear what that would achieve."; end if. A dictaphone is here. It is recording-capable. Understand "dict" as the dictaphone. The description is "Bonnie has recorded many a damning interview on this little gadget; but [if band_recorded is true]you've filled it with two minutes of brand-new indie 'music'. Your mother would be so proud.[else if noise_recorded is true]it's blank at the moment, except for a bit of abortive noise from your experiments.[otherwise]for now it's blank and ready for recording.[end if]" Instead of taking the dictaphone in the newspaper office in the presence of Bonnie when the dictaphone is not held and dicta_ever_held is false, say "'Be good!' Bonnie warns. Guiltily, you replace the dictaphone." After taking the dictaphone: change dicta_ever_held to true; continue the action. Instead of listening to the dictaphone, try examining the dictaphone. Instead of switching on or switching off the dictaphone, say "To use the dictaphone, just try recording something." Section 5 - Dean's Walk Dean's Walk is a region in the outdoors. The north walk is a room in Dean's Walk with printed name "Dean's Walk, north end". It is south of the west square. "Dean's Walk, the wide paved path that runs alongside the various schools of the university, begins at this northmost point. The School of Physical Sciences lies to the west, and stairs lead down to the School of Computing. The walkway continues to the south, while to the north it broadens and opens onto University Square.[if unvisited][line break][line break]As you approach the centres of learning, the sun shrinks behind a bank of ominous grey cloud. The day suddenly feels colder." [^ this makes it more realistic that you're cold when you come out having showered] Instead of going to the School of Computing when the identity card is not held, say "You can't get in without an identity card. Blasted modern technology." Instead of going from the School of Computing when the identity card is not held, say "You'd better take your identity card, or you won't be able to get back in." Instead of going from the north walk to a room that is not in the School of Physical Sciences: if the player is drenched begin; say "It's too cold out there in your wet clothes! You huddle in the doorway."; otherwise; continue the action; end if. The north_walk_steps are a backdrop with printed name "stairs". They are here. Understand "step", "steps", "stair", "stairs" as the north_walk_steps. The description is "These stairs lead down to the School of Computing." A wild-eyed maniac is a man. He is immobile. [not initially anywhere] Understand "Ishmael", "lunatic", "madman", "wild", "eyed" as the maniac. The wild-eyed maniac can be book-awaiting or non-book-awaiting. Ishmael is a person that varies. Ishmael is the maniac. [so I can call him this in code too] The description is [note: we may not know his name, Ishmael, at this point, so don't use it] "He is bald and looks about thirty. A ragged, mud-stained denim jacket clings to the jagged contours of his body. His expressions and movements are full of paranoid insanity." Instead of talking to Ishmael, try recruiting Ishmael. [since his dialogue is quite linear] Instead of recruiting Ishmael: if Ishmael is not in the School of Earth Sciences [i.e. he's in his original spot outdoors] begin; change the printed name of Ishmael to "Ishmael"; now Ishmael is proper-named; say "'Are you a student?' you hazard.[line break]Ishmael runs his bony fingers over his unpleasant scalp, as though by ruffling invisible hair he might make his madness even more apparent. 'You might say I was a student, and then again you might not. In worldly matters and the hateful conventions of society I am indeed an abysmal neophyte, one with no desire to learn, and yet[emdash]'[line break]'Which school?' you interrupt.[line break]'Earth Sciences. But hold: if you would recruit me as a tool against the government, there is first one trifling task you must perform.'[line break]'How did you[emdash]'[line break]'I know many things, Richard Hejlsberg,' Ishmael hisses alarmingly, 'and beneath the sunny lithosphere of this institution lie many dark discontinuities. But no more in the open! Meet me[emdash] you know where.'[line break][line break]You watch him stride towards his school."; move Ishmael to the earth lobby; [*not* the cavern, due to light/darkness complications] now the lecture theatre is not occupied; else if Ishmael is non-book-awaiting; [*and* he is in Earth Sciences] say "'There are secrets in the earth,' the madman continues, 'deep beneath Greater Dossing. Lost treasures. Some speak of emeralds the size of plovers[apostrophe] eggs!'[line break]'What's a plover?' you ask, genuinely mystified.[line break]'...I ache to continue my studies, my excavations, but I require a certain book. The sole copy is in the possession of my nemesis, Dr Kurzsicht of the School of History and Philosophy, who [emdash] acting, I am certain, on foul mandates of the New World Order [emdash] has barred me from entering his lecture theatre.'[line break]'So you just want me to get you a book?'[line break]'I do. The name of this formidable tome,' Ishmael lowers his voice, 'is [italic type]Geotectonics for Dummies[roman type].'[line break]'Why has the School of History and Philosophy got a book on geotectonics?' you want to know.[line break]'Because you have not yet removed it. Go now; I shall await your return.'"; [^ "An emerald the size of a plover's egg" is a Colossal Cave reference.] now Ishmael is book-awaiting; else; [he is waiting for you to bring the book] say "'Have you found the book?' Ishmael asks impatiently."; end if. Instead of giving the soap powder to Ishmael when Ishmael is book-awaiting: [since this is along the right lines, having spotted their visual similarity] say "'Ah! You have brought me the book,' Ishmael beams. 'Wait [emdash] this is no book.'[line break]'It looks like one, though, doesn't it?' you say proudly.[line break]'Soap powder?' Ishmael tosses the box aside in disgust."; move the soap powder to the location. Instead of giving Geotectonics for Dummies to Ishmael: say "'The book!' Ishmael exclaims, taking it from you greedily. 'And nobody saw you take this? You were not followed by the Freemasons, for instance?'[line break]'I... don't [italic type]think[roman type] so.'[line break]'Yes,' he muses, 'it is always difficult to be sure. I shall have to pursue my researches elsewhere, in secret.'[line break]'What about my grant protest?' you remind him before he can leave.[line break]'Ah, yes. I will participate in your protest. When the time is ripe, you will know where to find me. But for now, there is much to be done.'[line break]The lunatic hurries outside, book clasped in both arms, and is soon lost to view."; now Ishmael is recruited; remove Ishmael from play; remove Geotectonics for Dummies from play; now Ishmael is non-book-awaiting. [not that it matters now that he's out of play] The south walk is a room in Dean's Walk with printed name "Dean's Walk, southeast corner". It is south of the north walk. "The walkway takes a sharp turn here of almost ninety degrees between north and west. A few straggly weeds and mosses peep hopefully from the ground around a neglected fountain. Detached from the main mass of schools opposite, the School of Earth Sciences stands alone to the east and the School of Modern Languages and Linguistics to the south (with a sign outside), while your own school, that of Marketing and Meeja Studies, is up some steps with objectionable advertisements on them." Instead of going up in the south walk, say "Like most of your coursemates, you try to spend as little time in your school as possible, to the extent that you still aren't sure exactly what your degree is in. Were you to show your face now, certain unwelcome questions might be raised regarding overdue assignments.[line break][line break]You decide to leave those questions where they belong: unread in your pigeonhole." Instead of going south in the south walk, say "The School of Modern Languages and Linguistics appears to be closed." The south_walk_steps are a backdrop with printed name "steps". They are here. Understand "step", "steps", "stair", "stairs", "objectionable", "advertisement", "advertisements", "ad", "ads", "advert", "adverts" as the south_walk_steps. The description is "Fittingly for the School of Marketing and Meeja Studies, the vertical surface of each step features one word of an advertisement, the whole reading (from bottom to top) 'Step into a new world of taste with Kilo-Cola.' You did once, in fact, try Kilo-Cola, and concluded that its world was not one you wished to reside in." Instead of climbing the south_walk_steps, try going up. Some straggly weeds_mosses are here with printed name "weeds and mosses". They are scenery. Understand "weed", "moss", "weeds", "mosses" as the weeds_mosses. The description is "Left unmolested, as the fountain has been, perhaps some day they will grow into a lush canopy concealing it from view altogether." Instead of taking the weeds_mosses, say "Gardening is not your strong point." A sign is here. It is scenery and fixed in place. Understand "notice" as the sign. The description is "Propped outside the School of Modern Languages and Linguistics, the sign says 'Welcome' in an increasingly exotic set of languages, starting with French and Spanish and gradually progressing to Klingon and Elvish. (No doubt the geeks from the School of Computing had a hand in this.) Slapped across the centre is a rather less carefully constructed notice, in English only, to the effect that the school has suffered an invasion of Chomsky's weevil and is closed pending fumigation." [^ "Chomsky's weevil" doesn't exist, of course; it's a joky reference to the American linguist.] A fountain is here. It is scenery and fixed in place. The fountain can be drained. Understand "neglected", "slime" as the fountain. [from room description and own description] The description is "[if the fountain is not drained]Once a picturesque addition to the campus, the fountain has been shamefully neglected. Whatever pumping mechanism originally moved the water gave up the ghost long ago, leaving little more than a pit of stagnant slime.[otherwise]Drained by your subterranean machinations, the fountain looks greener and slimier than ever.[end if]" After examining the fountain when the fountain is drained: if the ring has not been in the south walk begin; say "Hey, there's a ring down there! Somebody must have lost it in the water."; move the ring to the location; end if. Instead of entering the fountain, say "You're not entering that slime-pit." Instead of inserting into the fountain, say "There's no point. Why pollute it further?" The ring is a wearable thing. It is coinlike. Understand "mood" as the ring. The description is "It's a cheap plastic mood ring.[if the ring is worn] Reacting to the warmth of your finger, its tawdry jewel has morphed from dead grey to a sluggish semi-brown.[end if]" Instead of examining the ring when ring_ever_held is false, say "Could it be gold? Silver? Platinum? You can't tell from here." After taking the ring for the first time: say "You wipe the foul-smelling scum from the little piece of jewellery. Could this be the solution to all of your financial problems?[line break][line break]Oh, curses. It's just one of those stupid plastic 'mood rings' that change colour with your body temperature."; now the printed name of the ring is "mood ring"; move the ring to the player; change ring_ever_held to true; stop the action. [to avoid "Taken" coming last -- yep, even in an After rule] The west walk is a room in Dean's Walk with printed name "Dean's Walk, west end". It is west of the south walk. "Dean's Walk ends at this westernmost point. The terminating segment of concrete wall overlooks the lake in the distance. Two schools face each other here: the School of Performing Arts, whose lively mural-painted walls are just south of you, and its frumpier, more scholarly cousin, the School of History and Philosophy, which glances across with jealous disapproval from the north. A narrow flight of steps twists its way down to a lakeside path that lazily encircles half the campus." Understand "terminating", "segment", "concrete" as the universal_wall when the player is in the west walk. [but note that "wall" itself does something different here, examining the mural] Instead of going down in the west walk, say "A jaunt around the lake would be nice, but you have more pressing concerns." After going to the west walk for the first time: change Ligeia to mobile; continue the action. The west_walk_steps are a backdrop with printed name "flight of steps". They are here. Understand "narrow", "flight", "of", "steps", "step", "stair", "stairs" as the west_walk_steps. The description is [just repeat that part of the room description] "A narrow flight of steps twists its way down to a lakeside path that lazily encircles half the campus." A mural is here. It is a backdrop. Understand "lively", "painted", "mural-painted", "brickwork", "murals", "wall", "walls" as the mural. The description is "The mural covers a large area of brickwork around the doors to the School of Performing Arts. Unfortunately, the two sides were painted by artists with differing ideas of how to represent the dramatic sphere. As a result, Dracula chases a shrieking maiden on the right-hand side, while on the left the Bard of Avon looks on with a smile of polite bemusement." The lake is here. It is a backdrop. Understand "trees", "ducks" as the lake. The description is "From here, the distant lake seems placid and unruffled, though a breeze ripples the leaves of trees on the far side. Ducks coast along the surface in search of anybody with surplus bread." Ligeia is a woman. She is here and immobile. Understand "cat" as Ligeia. The description is "A svelte cat with glossy black fur and a red collar, Ligeia is most often sighted in the vicinity of the School of Performing Arts, her name deriving from that grotesque tale of Poe's that the students were adapting for the stage when first she wandered onto campus as an underfed stray." After examining Ligeia for the first time, now the collar is part of Ligeia. Instead of kissing [pet, stroke] Ligeia, say "You reach down to pet Ligeia[one of], who is currently more interested in licking her fur.[or]. She purrs and headbutts your hand.[or], scratching the back of her head. She gazes at you with large and luminous orbs.[at random]" ["orbs" phrase is from Poe's "Ligeia"] Instead of taking Ligeia, say "Ligeia evades your clutches. She hates being picked up." The red collar is a thing. [It becomes part of Ligeia when she is examined.] The description is "The thin red collar, with a reflective sheen to prevent traffic accidents, encircles Ligeia's neck.[if the brass tag is part of the collar] A dangling brass tag bears her name and the department's telephone number." The brass pet tag is a portable thing. It is coinlike and part of the collar. The description is "The brass tag bears Ligeia's name and the department's telephone number." Instead of taking the brass pet tag when the brass pet tag is part of the collar: say "You manage to work the brass tag off Ligeia's collar. If she gets lost now, it's your fault."; move the brass pet tag to the player. [^ This "move" is not ideal, but we need to stop it being part of the collar.] Section 6 - School of Physical Sciences The School of Physical Sciences is a region with printed name "School of Physical Sciences". The science lobby is a room in the School of Physical Sciences with printed name "School of Physical Sciences". It is west of the north walk. "This central lobby serves as a buffer zone between physics and chemistry laboratories (respectively north and south). A few inhospitable chairs lend it the air of a dentist's waiting-room. A spout on the wall is labelled 'Emergency Shower'. To the east, a pair of partially translucent doors present a view of Dean's Walk in sepia.[line break][line break][if unvisited]'Can I help you?' says Igor, in a melancholy tone suggesting that nobody can really help anybody or anything.[otherwise][one of]Igor gazes at you impassively.[or]Igor sits staring glumly at his fingernails.[or]Igor seems drearily oblivious to your presence.[at random]" Instead of going to the chemistry lab from the science lobby: if the sunglasses are in the chemistry lab or the coat is in the chemistry lab begin; continue the action; [so can't get stuck by dropping clothes inside the lab] else if the player is not wearing the sunglasses and the player is not wearing Lyssa's coat; say "A bouncerly hand extends to stop you.[line break]'Lab coat? Safety goggles?' asks Igor.[line break]'But I'm not going in there to do science!' you protest.[line break]'Then you are not going in at all,' Igor says with finality."; else if the player is not wearing Lyssa's coat; [but is wearing the sunglasses] say "Igor looks critically at your [if the sunglasses are broken]broken [end if]sunglasses.[line break]'Safety goggles... okay. And where is your lab coat?'[line break]'Ah, well,' you explain with sudden ingenuity, 'I forgot it.'[line break]'Then,' Igor concludes weightily, 'you may also forget about entering the lab.'"; else if the player is not wearing the sunglasses; [but is wearing the coat] say "'Nice lab coat,' Igor remarks with genuine admiration. 'But I don't see your safety goggles.'[line break]'I[emdash]I[emdash]' you fumble for an excuse.[line break]'No entry without goggles!'"; else; say "[if the player has not been in the chemistry lab]Igor gives you a millimetre nod to indicate his approval of your 'lab coat' and 'safety googles'."; continue the action; end if. Some science_lobby_chairs are here with printed name "chairs". They are scenery and a supporter. Understand "inhospitable", "chairs", "chair" as the science_lobby_chairs. The description is "From your viewpoint, if the choice comes down to these or the hard wooden stools you've seen in some of the labs, the School of Physical Sciences might as well have a 'no sitting' policy." Instead of entering the science_lobby_chairs, say "Sitting beside Igor would make anybody suicidal in minutes." An emergency shower is here. It is scenery. Understand "spout", "sign" as the emergency shower. The description is "The spout is fixed at head height. A sign above a [if the panel is broken]wrecked[otherwise]small[end if] glass panel reads: 'Emergency Shower. Break glass to activate.'[if the panel is broken] You have obeyed the sign.[end if]" The glass panel is a thing. The panel is part of the emergency shower. The panel can be broken. Understand "small" as the glass panel. [See its description above.] Instead of examining the panel, try examining the emergency shower. Instead of attacking the panel when the panel is broken, say "It's already broken." Instead of throwing something (called x) at the panel, try attacking the panel with x. Instead of attacking the panel [with nothing] when the panel is not broken, say "What, with your hand? Even if it worked, you'd get a nasty cut." Instead of attacking the panel with [anything else] when the panel is not broken, say "That doesn't work. The glass seems to be reinforced.[line break][line break]Igor bestows a long-suffering look upon you, but says nothing." Instead of attacking the panel with the cheese when the panel is not broken: say "You strike the toughened glass with the brick of cheese, shattering both of them simultaneously and leaving a sad little pile of shards at your feet. The spout on the wall drenches you with six seconds of icy water. Between gasps and sputters, you decide that this isn't the most brilliant thing you've ever done. Igor looks as though he agrees."; now the player is drenched; now the panel is broken; remove the cheese from play; move the shards to the location; move Lyssa to the north walk; [so you can acquire her coat] change Lyssa to immobile. [so she won't wander off anywhere for the moment] Every turn when the player is drenched and a random chance of 1 in 3 succeeds, say "[one of]You shiver in your wet clothes.[or]Brrrr.[as decreasingly likely outcomes]" A pile of glassy cheesy shards is a thing. It is fixed in place. The description is "Looks dangerous. You never knew cheese could [italic type]splinter[roman type] before." Instead of taking the shards, say "You might injure yourself. Let somebody else sweep them up." Igor is a man. He is here. He is immobile. He is scenery. [avoid a mention in the room description] Understand "ukrainian", "postgrad", "postgraduate", "assistant", "lab assistant" as Igor. The description is "Igor is a morose Ukrainian postgraduate who assists in the chemistry department, looking after the laboratory and occasionally helping students with their coursework. Any passing resemblance to Frankenstein's famous wretch ends there, however, for Igor is tall and slender with a slow, careful manner of speaking that wholly precludes manic cackling." [Note: Igor is not in Mary Shelley's book, only certain film adaptations.] Instead of kissing Igor, say "I'm sure neither of you would enjoy that." Instead of recruiting Igor, say "'How do you feel about the abolition of student grants?' you ask.[line break]Igor shrugs. 'I am foreign student. No grants for me.'[line break][line break]Of course. Well, he's no use, then." The physics lab is a room in the School of Physical Sciences with printed name "Physics lab, School of Physical Sciences". It is north of the science lobby. "You thought that the physics department of a university would be a gleaming vista of metals and plastics, but this shabby little nook would tick few boxes on the most apathetic school inspector's clipboard. Most of the fittings are made from an old, dark wood that exudes a peculiarly Victorian dismalness. Piles of junk, or possibly important equipment, loom alarmingly from the shadows.[if unvisited][line break][line break]'Hullo!' the professor calls merrily across the laboratory." [We want the professor's subsequent salutations to come *after* the room description, so...] The last report going rule: if going to the physics lab when the player had been in the physics lab, say "[one of]The professor sits at the back of the room, absorbed in some academic thesis.[or]The professor gives you a friendly nod.[or]'Back again, eh?' says the professor.[purely at random]" The professor is here. He is a man and immobile. He is scenery. [avoid a mention in the room description] Understand "prof" as the professor. The description is "The sprightly old fellow appears to be delighted by everything, especially where physics is involved." Instead of talking to the professor, say "'You don't look like one of my chaps,' says the professor.[line break]'Well, I'm not,' you improvise skilfully, 'but physics has always fascinated me.'[line break]'Capital!' the old fellow enthuses. 'Why not take a look around?'" Instead of recruiting the professor, say "He's not a student!" Before giving the sunglasses to the professor when the player wears the sunglasses: try taking off the sunglasses; continue the action. Instead of giving the sunglasses to the professor for the first time: say "'Oh, this will work!' the professor exclaims. He deftly snaps the polarising lenses out of Lyssa's sunglasses and attaches one of them to the polarimeter, then hands back the frame and the remaining lens.[line break]'They weren't yours, were they?' he adds apologetically.[line break]They weren't yours."; now the rotatey thing is fixed; now the sunglasses are broken; move the lens to the player. Some piles of junk are here. They are scenery. Understand "important", "equipment" as the piles of junk. The description is "Who knows? Who cares?" A wavy thing is here. It is machinery. Understand "oscilloscope" as the wavy thing. Instead of examining the wavy thing for the first time: say "'That's an oscilloscope,' the professor beams, with perhaps a touch more enthusiasm than a normal human being would consider warranted. 'We use them to measure voltages and currents and what not. Marvellous things.'[line break]"; now the printed name of the wavy thing is "oscilloscope"; continue the action. The description is [N.B. This occurs on subsequent examinations as well as the first] "It still looks like a wavy thing to you." A rotatey thing is here. It is machinery. The rotatey thing can be fixed. Understand "polarimeter" as the rotatey thing. Instead of examining the rotatey thing when the rotatey thing is not fixed for the first time: [Note that the sample in the tube would be suspended in a sugar solution of some kind.] say "Seeing your perplexity, the professor skips over to you, gesticulating happily all the while.[line break][line break]'This here is a polarimeter. The tube in the middle holds the sample, you see, and then there are prisms at both ends, so we can shine a light along the tube and rotate the prism at the other end to block out the light. Then this scale here tells us the specific rotation[emdash]'[line break]'But there's only a prism at [italic type]one[roman type] end!' you object.[line break]'Oh dear, so there is,' says the wizened little man, crestfallen. 'We're a bit short of funds around here. You, er, don't happen to have a spare dichroic prism, do you?'"; now the printed name of the rotatey thing is "polarimeter"; stop the action. The description is "It's a sort of fancy tube with liquid in it. [if the rotatey thing is fixed]Thanks to Lyssa's generous donation, it's now in working order [emdash] not that you have anything to polarise, except possibly the opinions of game reviewers.[otherwise]According to the professor's description earlier, it won't work without a second 'dichroic prism'. An adventurous instinct tells you that you can probably find one." A whirly thing is here. It is machinery. Instead of examining the whirly thing for the first time: say "'Ah, now, that's a[emdash]' the professor says, then pauses. 'Do you know, I'm not sure what that is. Probably borrowed it from somewhere.' He wanders over to the mysterious device and packs it away in a dark corner."; remove the whirly thing from play; stop the action. The chemistry lab is a room in the School of Physical Sciences with printed name "Chemistry lab, School of Physical Sciences". It is south of the science lobby. "The chemistry laboratory has a somewhat cramped feeling, being boxed in by fitted cupboards and two or three times as long as it is wide. A selection of glassware stands on the long workbench that dominates the room, and on which a pair of bored undergraduates are playing Connect Four[if unvisited]®[end if]." Neil is here. He is a man and immobile. Understand "bored", "undergrad", "undergraduate", "undergraduates", "student", "students" as Neil. The description is "Classically handsome but for the snarl on his countenance, Neil squats before the game board, evidently not enjoying himself. He suffers from that sad congenital defect of a missing sense of humour, which explains (i) why he has little patience for your 'immature' behaviour and (ii) why, despite his nineteen years, he already comes across as a sort of middle-aged bank manager." Instead of talking to Neil, say "Neil shows little interest in your chit-chat and soon returns to his game." Instead of recruiting Neil: say "'We're trying to reinstate student grants,' you tell Neil, deciding that the plural pronoun lends your campaign a certain air of legitimacy.[line break]He makes a neutral mm-hm noise.[line break]'Perhaps you'd like to support the upcoming protest?'[line break]'What are you asking me for? Money?' Neil demands impatiently.[line break]'No! Just to turn up and march with us, along with anyone else from your school who might be interested.'[line break]'Okay. Fine.' Neil turns ungraciously back to the board, and Sara's indolent lip curls into the faintest of sneers.[line break][line break]Well, that's good enough."; now Neil is recruited. Instead of giving the Connect Four piece to Neil, return the piece to the game via Neil. Sara is here. She is a woman and immobile. Understand "bored", "undergrad", "undergraduate", "undergraduates", "student", "students", "sarah" as Sara. The description is "Languid, perpetually bored, and clothed like a perfect model from a Sunday supplement, Sara sprawls on one of the lab stools. Her drooping eyelids leave just enough of a crack for two gorgeous sapphires to peep out, though on such an exquisite corpse the hand that moves the game pieces is all but an entity of its own." Instead of talking to Sara, say "'Hello,' you begin.[line break]'Hi there,' says Sara dully, uninterested. You let it drop." Instead of recruiting Sara, say "'It's too bad that they got rid of student grants, isn't it?'[line break]Sara tosses her hair infuriatingly. 'I suppose it must be a problem for poor people.'[line break]You feel you're wasting your breath on the wrong demographic." Instead of kissing Sara, say "Strangely, you don't find her very attractive." Instead of giving the ring to Sara, say "'Will you marry me?' you ask.[line break]'Not if you were the last man on Earth,' she replies sweetly." Instead of giving the Connect Four piece to Sara, return the piece to the game via Sara. Table of Gameplay Text "[current player] drops a [current colour] piece into the Connect Four board." "[current player] hovers over the board, finally slotting in a [current colour] piece [one of]at[or]near[purely at random] the [one of]centre[or]edge[purely at random]." "[current player] [one of]attempts[or]tries[purely at random] to [one of]extend[or]build on[purely at random] a [one of]promising [or][purely at random][current colour] [one of]diagonal[or]column[or]row[purely at random]." "[current player] stares at the board intently before placing [if the current player is male]his[else]her[end if] [current colour] piece." The current player is a person that varies. The current player is Sara. The current colour is text that varies. The current colour is "yellow". The turn counter is a number that varies. The turn counter is 0. Every turn when the player is in the chemistry lab: increase the turn counter by 1; if the remainder after dividing the turn count by 2 is 0 [so they don't play too lightning-fast] begin; if the turn counter is less than 20 begin; choose a random row in the Table of Gameplay; say "[text entry][line break]"; if the current player is Sara begin; change the current player to Neil; change the current colour to "red"; else; change the current player to Sara; change the current colour to "yellow"; end if; else; say "[current player] places a final piece to win the game. The board is emptied, the players gather up their pieces, and the whole joyless process begins anew."; change the turn counter to 0; if the Connect Four piece is in-use begin; say "[run paragraph on][line break]One of the pieces clatters to the floor, ignored.[line break][line break]"; move the Connect Four piece to the location; now the Connect Four piece is out-of-use; [so they won't drop it again] end if; end if; end if. A long workbench is here. It is a supporter and scenery. Understand "wooden", "work bench", "bench" as the workbench. The description is "It's long! This serves to exclude all other attributes, except perhaps 'wooden'." A Connect Four board is on the workbench. It is scenery. Understand "4", "game" as the board. Understand "piece" as the board when the piece is not visible. The description is "The midnight-blue board stands upright, uniformly Swiss-cheesed with columns of holes into which the playing pieces are slotted. At a more prestigious university, of course, one might expect chemists to be playing chess or even carrying out chemistry." Instead of inserting the piece into the board: say "'Where did you get that?' Neil asks, rudely snatching it from you. 'Give it back!'"; remove the Connect Four piece from play; now the Connect Four piece is in-use. [so they can drop it again if you hang around] Instead of inserting something into the board, say "That wouldn't belong in the Connect Four board unless you radically changed the rules." Instead of putting something (called x) on the board, try inserting x into the board. Instead of taking the Connect Four board, say "[current player] swats you away from the board, intent on [if current player is male]his[else]her[end if] next move." A Connect Four piece is a thing. It is coinlike. The Connect Four piece can be in-use or out-of-use. It is in-use. Understand "yellow", "round", "4" as the piece. The description is "One of the standard playing pieces from Connect Four. It's round and yellow." To return the piece to the game via (player - a person): say "'Oh, thanks,' says [player]."; remove the Connect Four piece from play; now the Connect Four piece is in-use. [so they can drop it again if you hang around] Some cupboards are here. They are scenery and a locked lockable container. Understand "fitted", "cupboard", "chemistry", "supply", "safety", "signs", "label", "warning" as the cupboards. The description is "The chemistry supply cupboards are covered in safety signs. Beneath the usual symbols for toxicity, flammability and corrosiveness, some wag has appended the label from a tin of baked beans with the handwritten warning 'Risk of toxic gases'." Some glassware is on the workbench. It is scenery. Understand "flask", "flasks", "vial", "vials", "test", "tube", "tubes", "testtube", "testtubes", "Botticelli" as the glassware. The description is "Various flasks, vials, and test tubes. Everything seems to be empty." Instead of inserting into the glassware when the noun is a person, say "Impractical!" Instead of inserting into the glassware, say "'In order to test a hypothesis, [the noun] [if the noun acts plural]were[else]was[end if] placed in a Botticelli flask,' you muse to yourself scientifically.[line break]'Don't,' says Neil, without a trace of good humour.[line break]You sadly curtail your experiment." Instead of doing anything other than examining, smelling or listening to with the glassware, say "'Don't touch that,' Neil and Sara say simultaneously." Section 7 - School of Computing The School of Computing is a region with printed name "School of Computing". The computing lab is a room in the School of Computing with printed name "Computing lab, School of Computing". It is down from the north walk. "Deep beneath the walkway, the computing lab provides tomorrow's dotcom crash victims with a basement away from home. Seated before identical off-beige workstations, these jittery albinos bash out hesitant lines of source code, punctuating the task with spasmodic bites of pizza. A number of PhD students at the back of the lab leer at their screens and each other. A chink of daylight above you signals the exit to Dean's Walk." Every turn while the player is in the computing lab and a random chance of 1 in 4 succeeds: say "[one of]'Look at the size of that!' says one of the PhDs, indicating something unspeakable on YouTube.[or]There is a burst of raucous laughter as one of the PhDs fires off a rude e-mail to the Vatican, the others hanging sycophantically over his shoulder.[or]The constant pitter-patter of keyboards is starting to get on your nerves.[or]A novice programmer yells 'Whoo!' as his code finally compiles without errors.[or]The PhD students settle down to a networked game of something noisy and violent.[in random order]" Some PhD students are here. They are people, male, scenery, and immobile. Understand "PhDs" as the PhD students. The description is "Some are flirting in chat rooms, and others are tinkering with their Web sites; but most of them seem to be avidly researching female anatomy." A DVD burner is here. It is fixed in place. Understand "port", "workstation", "workstations", "computer", "computers" as the DVD burner. The description is "The School of Computing recently invested in a lot of new hardware. Hooked up to a workstation, with a port on the back into which various other devices can be inserted, the DVD burner can convert all kinds of data to disc format, including audio and video. Combined with the availability of illicit film downloads on the Internet, this has made computing students unusually popular in the last few weeks." Instead of switching on or switching off the DVD burner, say "You can't see how." Instead of inserting something into the DVD burner, [other than the dictaphone below] say "That's hardly something you can plug into a computer." Instead of putting the box of soap powder on the DVD burner, say "You can't. SOAP is not supported." [cf. the quip in Teacher Feature about a phone dropped in coffee not supporting "Java", and the idea of a "supporter" in Inform.] Instead of inserting the box of soap powder into the DVD burner, try putting the box of soap powder on the DVD burner. Instead of inserting the dictaphone into the DVD burner: if band_recorded is true and the disc has been in the computing lab begin; say "You don't need another copy!"; else if band_recorded is true; say "You plug the dictaphone into the workstation and click every icon in sight until you manage to activate the DVD burner. After a minute or two of soft humming, the device ejects a disc."; move the dictaphone to the location; move the disc to the location; else; say "That might work, but you haven't recorded anything worth burning onto disc."; end if. The disc is a thing. Understand "disk", "DVD" as the disc. The description is "You created this DVD from your recording of the band." Section 8 - School of Performing Arts The School of Performing Arts is a region with printed name "School of Performing Arts". The drama studio is a room in the School of Performing Arts with printed name "Drama studio, School of Performing Arts". It is south of the west walk. "The drama studio is a small theatre, compact but relatively tall, spanned by a gantry some eight or ten feet above the floor. Descending rows of empty seats in the dim auditorium face a stage that is glaringly lit by comparison. The door by which you entered, unnecessarily marked 'Fire Exit' in view of being the only obvious way out, stands ajar to the north.[line break][line break][one of]Amy struts up and down the stage, rehearsing.[or]Up on the stage, Amy recites lines from a script.[or]Amy stands on the stage.[at random]" Instead of going from the drama studio when Amy is visible: [and, in fact, she never leaves] if the player has the remote control begin; say "'Don't take that remote control out of here,' Amy calls[if the player is not on the stage] from the stage[end if]. 'We need it.'"; otherwise; continue the action; end if. Instead of going up in the drama studio, try entering the stage. Instead of going down when the player is on the stage, try exiting. Some seats are here. They are scenery and a supporter. Understand "seat", "empty", "plush" as the seats. The description is "Faded plush. Like the curtains, they've seen better days." Instead of entering [sit, stand, etc.] the seats, say "Amy's rehearsal doesn't merit sticking around." A gantry is here. It is scenery. Understand "walkway" as the gantry. The description is "This raised walkway runs along the back wall of the drama studio and has a metallic, industrial look. You suppose that the lighting, along with any other mechanical trickery, can be controlled from up there." Instead of climbing or entering the gantry, say "It's far too high up to reach from here." A remote control is on the stage. The remote control can be pressed at least once. It is a closed openable container and battery-powered. Understand "button", "battery compartment", "compartment" as the remote control. Rule for printing the name of the remote control: say the printed name of the remote control; omit contents in listing. [so it doesn't say "a remote control (closed)"] The description is [We could use "[list of things in the remote control]" etc., but the way this object is coded we know it will always be empty while open, and "is empty" reads better than "contains nothing".] "It has a single button. You quite like pressing [if the remote control is not pressed at least once]mystery [end if]buttons.[if the remote control is open] The battery compartment is open and empty.[end if]" Instead of opening the remote control when the remote control is closed: say "You pop open the remote control"; now the remote control is open; if the battery is in the remote control begin; say ". A battery drops out and rolls along the floor."; move the battery to the location; else; say ". The battery compartment is empty."; end if. Before pushing or opening the remote control when the player does not hold the remote control: say "(first taking the remote control)"; try taking the remote control; continue the action. Instead of inserting the battery into the remote control when the player has the battery: say "You replace the battery with a snap and close the battery compartment."; move the battery to the remote control; now the remote control is closed. Instead of pushing the remote control: [i.e. pressing the button] now the remote control is pressed at least once; if the battery is in the remote control begin; if the curtains are parted begin; say "You press the button. The stage curtains close judderingly, leaving Amy rehearsing on a vermilion backdrop. Her buxom shadow stands out starkly.[line break][line break]'Hey!' Amy complains. 'What are you doing?'"; now the curtains are not parted; else; say "You press the button. The curtains on the stage slowly open."; now the curtains are parted; end if; else; say "Nothing happens."; end if. [Note: we don't want the player to be able to send people outside Scummett block before leaving the block himself, so it's important that this battery (necessary for alarm) is far away.] A battery is a thing. It is in the remote control. The description is "It's a Megacell brand battery, emblazoned with the famous lightning bolt." An auditorium is here. It is scenery. The description is "Located below the stage, the auditorium has enough seats for a fair-sized audience. For the time being, it is utterly empty." Instead of entering the auditorium when the player is on the stage, try exiting. Instead of entering the auditorium when the player is not on the stage, say "You're there already." A stage is here. It is an enterable supporter and scenery. The description is "The stage is raised a few feet above the auditorium and [if the curtains are parted]edged by curtains[else]has the closed curtains as a backdrop[end if]." Some curtains are a thing. They are scenery and a part of the stage. Understand "curtain" as the curtains. The curtains can be parted. The curtains are parted. The description is "The curtains, which are [if the curtains are parted]open, revealing a bare wall devoid of sets and props[else]closed[end if], are of a deep red colour. They possess the moth-eaten theatrical grandeur of a once-great actress refusing to recognise her impending senility." Instead of opening or closing the curtains when the player is not on the stage, say "You can't reach them from the auditorium." Instead of opening or closing the curtains when the player is on the stage, say "They're too large and unwieldy for you to operate manually." Amy is a woman. She is on the stage. She is scenery. The description is "Wearing a halter top and a skimpy pair of denim cutoffs [emdash] not entirely appropriate for the part [emdash] the lovely Amy is rehearsing lines from what you vaguely recognise as Shakespeare's [italic type]Othello[roman type]." Instead of talking to Amy, say "Throwing out a bare and histrionic arm, Amy gallops through her speech in amateur pentameter, as though each iamb were a separate exclamation of annoyance.[line break]'So [italic type]that[roman type] dear [italic type]lords[roman type] if [italic type]I[roman type] be [italic type]left[roman type] be[italic type]hind[roman type], a [italic type]moth[roman type] of [italic type]peace[roman type] and [italic type]he[roman type] go [italic type]to[roman type] the [italic type]war[roman type]... What do you think?'[line break]'You'll knock [apostrophe]em dead,' you tell her, privately thinking that there might be quicker and less painful forms of euthanasia than seeing Amy in a play." Instead of listening to Amy, try talking to Amy. [since that involves her rehearsing] Instead of listening to the drama studio, try listening to Amy. Instead of kissing Amy, say "She probably wouldn't mind, but you think there might be a law against exploiting bimbos." Instead of recruiting Amy: say "'How are you doing for money?' you ask Amy.[line break]'Are you prepositioning me?' she giggles nonsensically.[line break]Your eye falls upon Amy's strappy heels. 'You know,' you explain, conscious of her limited intellect, 'the more money you have, the more shoes you can buy.'[line break]You can actually see her expression change as she works this out in her head. It's like watching a progress bar.[line break]'Are you, like, giving away free money?' she finally blurts out.[line break]You explain the nature of the grant protest in words of few syllables, and she agrees to join you.[line break][line break]Ah, if only everybody were so co-operative."; now Amy is recruited. Instead of giving the ring to Amy, say "'Will you marry me?' you ask.[line break]Amy squeals with hilarity, then looks confused. 'You [italic type]are[roman type] kidding, right?'" Section 9 - School of Earth Sciences The School of Earth Sciences is a region with printed name "School of Earth Sciences". The earth lobby is a room in the School of Earth Sciences with printed name "Lobby, School of Earth Sciences". It is east from the south walk. "...or rather, half a lobby. By accident or design, the school's geological excavations have gradually impinged upon the building itself, and thus, while the west side of the lobby towards Dean's Walk is the epitome of normalcy, the scuffed parquet floor gradually succumbs to jagged cracks and lacerations until it drops away in near-darkness to the east.[if Ishmael is not in the earth lobby] The place is deserted. It's all very eerie.[end if][if unvisited][line break][line break]The door closes echoingly behind you." Understand "scuffed", "parquet", "jagged", "cracks", "lacerations", "crack", "laceration" as the universal_floor when the player is in the earth lobby. The tunnel is a room in the School of Earth Sciences with printed name "Tunnel, School of Earth Sciences". It is east from the earth lobby. "You hear the distant drippings of water from the east as you proceed along this dank tunnel. Unidentifiable minerals sparkle from the unevenly hewn walls. You recall the entrance being somewhere to the west." Instead of going to the cavern from the tunnel: if the player holds more than three things [undroppable trousers + wallet, plus alcopop for light] begin; [This mirrors an old puzzle in Colossal Cave with an "extremely tight tunnel".] say "The tunnel is extremely tight here. You can't get through with all of your possessions."; else; continue the action; end if. Some unidentifiable minerals are here. They are scenery. Understand "mineral" as the minerals. The description is "A slight sheen of moisture makes the minerals shimmer uncannily as you walk." The cavern is a dark room in the School of Earth Sciences with printed name "Glistening cavern, School of Earth Sciences". It is east from the tunnel. "The western tunnel emerges here in a vast, glistening underground cavern that gives you the awed sense of being alone in a cathedral. Water drips languidly from the lichenous walls and pools in irregularities beneath your feet. Massive boulders lie here and there. A great rusty lever protrudes incongruously from the wall.[if the alcopop is visible][line break][line break]The alcopop illuminates the slick, wet surfaces of the cave in ghastly fluorescent purple." Instead of going a direction (called dir) in the cavern when in darkness: if dir is not west, say "You try to feel your way around the clammy cavern walls, but it's hopeless. The only exit you can locate is the western tunnel by which you entered."; otherwise continue the action. [Specifically: dropping the skewer in the dark cavern would make the game unwinnable, since you need the skewer in order to acquire a light source.] Instead of dropping something when in darkness, say "You'd never find it again!" Every turn when the player is in the cavern and the remainder after dividing the turn count by 3 is 0: if in darkness, say "You think you hear the hissing of a grue..." Some massive boulders are here. They are scenery. Understand "boulder", "rock", "rocks" as the boulders. The description is "Like the discarded playthings of some petulant giantess." Instead of pulling or pushing the boulders, say "Quite impossible." Instead of climbing the boulders, say "There's no point. They don't lead anywhere." Some pools of water are here. They are scenery. Understand "pool", "irregularities" as the pools of water. The description is "Like everything else in the cavern, these shallow pools are dark and cold." Instead of taking the pools of water, say "The icy water trickles through your fingers." Instead of entering the pools of water, say "We're talking rock pools here, not swimming pools." The great rusty lever is here. It is an enterable supporter and scenery. The lever can be pushed. The description is "Truly, this is a leviathan among levers. More than twice as thick as your puny arm, it projects immensely from the rock at about the height of your chest. It's in the [if the lever is pushed]down[else]up[end if] position." Instead of pulling or pushing the lever, say "[if the lever is pushed]Since the lever is now in the down position, further exertions would be fruitless.[otherwise]You can tell that's not going to happen.[end if]" Instead of climbing the lever, try entering the lever. Instead of going down when the lever encloses the player, try exiting. After entering the lever, say "You scramble up onto the lever." Instead of jumping while the lever encloses the player: if the lever is pushed begin; say "Since the lever is now in the down position, further exertions would be fruitless."; else; say "Unable to shift the lever by other means, you leap up and down on it until, with a horrible creak, it lurches downward to its alternate position. A borborygmic gurgling echoes around the cave as, somewhere out of sight, a large quantity of water drains from one place to another.[line break][line break]Well, that was interesting."; now the lever is pushed; now the fountain is drained; move Ishmael to the north walk; end if. Before going from the cavern when the lever encloses the player: say "You hop down from the lever."; silently try exiting. [non-silently would also do an additional "look", which we don't want] Section 10 - School of History and Philosophy The School of History_Philosophy is a region with printed name "School of History and Philosophy". The foyer is a room in the School of History_Philosophy with printed name "Foyer, School of History and Philosophy". It is north from the west walk. "The remarkable foyer of Lyssa's school brings back memories of tedious museum outings with your class at St Borogrund's. The walls are lined with gilt-framed portraits and cordoned off by red ropes. Opposite the relatively unassuming south entrance, panelled doors of varnished oak [if the lecture theatre is occupied]bar further progress[else]open extravagantly[end if] northwards. Surveying all of this opulence from its perch atop a plinth of fake black marble is a pretentious plaster bust." Instead of going to the lecture theatre when the lecture theatre is occupied, try opening the universal_door. [see below] Instead of opening the universal_door when the player is in the foyer and the lecture theatre is occupied, say "You can hear the muffled tones of a lecture being delivered. Best not to interrupt it." Things can be don't-touch. Some red ropes are here. They are scenery and don't-touch. Understand "rope" as the red ropes. The description is "Red ropes are installed all the way along the foyer. 'Look but don't touch!' they seem to say." A plaster bust is here. It is scenery. Understand "pretentious", "john", "stuart", "mill", "plaque" as the bust. The description is "The political philosopher John Stuart Mill regards you gravely from between utilitarian sideburns. A plaque underneath quotes the great man: 'As a thinker it is his first duty to follow his intellect to whatever conclusions it may lead.'[line break][line break]Your intellect, such as it is, finds it hard to escape the conclusion that whoever decorated this hallway was a pompous ass." Instead of taking, pulling, pushing or attacking the bust, say "That wouldn't be very ethical. Oh God, the philosophy in here is getting to you." A plinth is here. It is scenery and don't-touch. Understand "fake", "black", "marble" as the plinth. The description is "You can almost see your reflection in it." Some portraits are here. They are scenery and don't-touch. Understand "portrait", "gilt-framed", "gilt", "framed", "frame", "frames", "oil", "painting", "paintings", "picture", "pictures" as the portraits. The description is "Dreary oil paintings of people in wigs." Instead of doing anything other than examining, smelling or listening to with a don't-touch thing, say "You're clearly not supposed to touch anything, and you couldn't pay for its restoration if you did. Even standing on the floor feels like a minor sin." The lecture theatre is a room in the School of History_Philosophy with printed name "Lecture theatre, School of History and Philosophy". The lecture theatre can be occupied. The lecture theatre is occupied. It is north from the foyer. "The impressively spacious lecture theatre matches the adjoining foyer in scale, though it has none of the swanky furnishings. Dr Kurzsicht, who prefers these environs to his own poky office while nobody is lecturing, sits on one side of the room reviewing his stuffy course notes and marking work down for niggling points of grammar. In front of him is a wall-mounted bookshelf." Instead of going from the lecture theatre when Dr Kurzsicht is visible and the player holds a book and the box of soap powder is not on the bookshelf, say "'I beg your pardon,' says Dr Kurzsicht, somehow managing to make it sound aggressive, 'but these books are for reference only. They are not to be taken outside the lecture theatre.'" A bookshelf is here. It is scenery and a supporter. Understand "books", "shelf", "wall-mounted" as the bookshelf. Instead of examining the bookshelf, say "The bookshelf holds the following titles: [list of books supported by the bookshelf][if the soap powder is supported by the bookshelf] [emdash] and a box of soap powder[end if]." Instead of putting something (called x) on the bookshelf: let capacity be the number of books [in the entire game world]; if the number of things supported by the bookshelf is capacity begin; say "The bookshelf is full."; else if x is not a book and x is not the soap powder; say "Dr Kurzsicht squints at you from his seat, trying to see what you are doing.[line break]'My bookshelf is not a toy,' he huffs. 'I will thank you to place nothing on it but books.'"; else if x is the soap powder and Geotectonics for Dummies is supported by the bookshelf; say "Dr Kurzsicht squints at you from his seat, trying to see what you are doing.[line break]'My bookshelf is not a toy,' he huffs. 'I will thank you to place nothing on it but books.'"; else if x is the soap powder; [and the single removed book is "Geotectonics for Dummies"] say "The box of soap powder bears an interesting resemblance to [italic type]Geotectonics for Dummies[roman type], and Dr Kurzsicht doesn't seem to have very good eyesight; so you carefully place the box on the shelf.[line break]'A magnificent work, is it not?' the academic preens. 'How did you like it?'[line break]'Yes,' you reply, hastily reading from the edge of the box. 'It was dazzling... brilliant... in some ways almost non-biological.'"; move the box of soap powder to the bookshelf; stop the action; else; continue the action; [putting a book is always okay if the soap powder isn't there] end if. Instead of taking the soap powder when the soap powder is supported by the bookshelf, say "After playing such a fine prank on the myopic fool, you don't want to risk ruining it." Instead of taking a book (called x) that is supported by the bookshelf: if the box of soap powder is on the bookshelf begin; say "After playing such a fine prank on the myopic fool, you don't want to risk ruining it."; else if a book is not supported by the bookshelf; [i.e. *any* book is not in its place] say "Dr Kurzsicht frowns. 'One book at a time, please. If you have finished with [a random book that is not on the bookshelf], kindly replace it on the shelf before you take another.'"; [^ Note: "a random book that is not on the bookshelf" is always the one the player took.] otherwise; say "Dr Kurzsicht peers in your direction.[line break]'[one of]An excellent choice[or]Ah, a truly seminal work[or]A classic in its way[cycling],' he says, though it is clear from his hunched posture and wrinkled forehead that he can barely see which book you have selected."; move x to the player; stop the action; [avoid "Taken"] end if. A book is a kind of thing. Understand "book" as a book. A book has a text called the author. Rule for printing the name of a book (called x): say "[italic type]"; say the printed name of x; say "[roman type] by "; say the author of x. The description of a book is "[one of]You never judge a book by its cover, but the [italic type]title[roman type] is enough to tell you that you'll never read this one. You prefer books with spies and explosions.[or]You'll pass. No doubt you'll hear about it from a drunken philosophy student some day.[or]This isn't your kind of book, nor is anybody whose kind of book it is your kind of person.[cycling]" [Although the bookshelf itself is scenery, it contains items that are not, i.e. books and soap powder; but we never want to be told "On the bookshelf is __" as part of the default room description.] For printing a locale paragraph about the bookshelf: stop. A book called Being and Time is a book on the bookshelf with author "Martin Heidegger". Critique of Pure Reason is a book on the bookshelf with author "Immanuel Kant". Meditations on First Philosophy is a book on the bookshelf with author "René Descartes". Ethics is a book on the bookshelf with author "Baruch Spinoza". A book called [to make "The" work] The World as Will and Representation is a book on the bookshelf with author "Arthur Schopenhauer". Geotectonics for Dummies is a book on the bookshelf with author "Bob Smith". The description is [approximately matching the colours etc. of the soap powder] "[italic type]Geotectonics for Dummies[roman type]: a doorstop for the rest of us. It's several inches thick and bright yellow, the title printed on a diagonal black stripe underneath which appears an irritating triangular-headed man with a speech bubble: 'Dig into the coolest facts about the hottest part of the planet!'" [^ Of course, this is a mockery of the actual "For Dummies" series and its branding.] Dr Kurzsicht is a man. He is here and immobile. Understand "doctor" as Dr Kurzsicht. [Note: The name "Kurzsicht" is an additional hint, literally "short + sight" in German.] The description is "You have some small familiarity with Dr Kurzsicht from those occasions on which you have wandered into the school in search of Lyssa. He is a dry skeleton of a man, supercilious and unbearable, who says 'hem, hem' instead of coughing and probably 'thalassa, thalassa!' on day trips to Brighton. The PhD following his name is as corporeal and essential a part of him as heart, lungs, and liver.[line break][line break]All things considered, the only way Dr Kurzsicht could be more patronising is if he were an actual [italic type]medical[roman type] doctor." Instead of talking to Dr Kurzsicht, say "'Hello.'[line break]No response.[line break]'Hello? Doctor?'[line break]Dr Kurzsicht feigns surprise. 'Ah! So you are talking to me. I understood from your initial salutation that you were talking to somebody devoid of my humble qualification.'[line break]'But there's nobody else in the room.'[line break]'And what can I do for you, pray, other than listening while you rehearse facts already clear to me? Nothing? Very well. If you are at this university [italic type]ut discipulus[roman type], I trust you can interest yourself in a book.'" ["ut discipulus" = as a student (whereas "in loco studentis" would be taking the place of one).] Instead of recruiting Dr Kurzsicht, say "He's not a student!" Section 11 - Regions that cannot be entered [These empty regions exist only so that characters can be assigned to them as students.] The School of Marketing_Meeja Studies is a region with printed name "School of Marketing and Meeja Studies". The School of Modern Languages_Linguistics is a region with printed name "School of Modern Languages and Linguistics". The School of Law is a region with printed name "School of Law". [And let's put some miscellaneous region logic in here too.] A region has text called the printed name. Studentship relates various people to one region. The verb to attend (it attends, they attend, it attended) implies the studentship relation. The player attends the School of Marketing_Meeja Studies. Lyssa attends the School of History_Philosophy. Mark attends the School of Law. The Nerd attends the School of Computing. Bonnie attends the School of Modern Languages_Linguistics. Neil attends the School of Physical Sciences. [Sara doesn't count, since she isn't recruitable.] Amy attends the School of Performing Arts. The wild-eyed maniac [Ishmael] attends the School of Earth Sciences. [Determine the rooms that randomly travelling characters can never enter.] The Nerd's room [initially locked] , Hovelsworth kitchen [rival of Scummett] , JCR [closed until endgame] , newspaper office [no reason for random students to enter] , science lobby [to block off the physics lab and restricted chemistry lab too] , computing lab [requires an ID card] , earth lobby [supposed to be "deserted" apart from Ishmael] , lecture theatre [supposed to be empty apart from Dr Kurzsicht] are unwanderable.